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DanFlak Free

Recent Comments

  1. about 19 hours ago on Moderately Confused

    I always yield the right of way to assh*les. I get angry for about a full second, then laugh and say a prayer that they get where they are going without killing themselves or someone else.

    It is a commute: not a competition. If I drove as aggressively as my wits could stand, I’d probably get to work two minutes sooner. I have yet to have anyone drop the checkered flag as I came skidding into the parking lot at work.

  2. about 19 hours ago on Off the Mark

    There are none so blind as those who will not see. There are none so deaf as those who will not hear. There are none so ignorant as those who will not learn – fake news.

  3. about 20 hours ago on Aunty Acid

    According to my Bible God created man in his image and likeness. My Bible doesn’t contain the part where he then went on to create inferior races and people.

    According my my Bible you should love thy neighbor. My Bible doesn’t contain the part where you get to pick and choose who your neighbor is. In fact it goes on to say that even the despised foreigner is your neighbor.

    Jesus talked down a “morally superior” bloodthirsty mob who wanted to stone a woman to death for adultery. Doing so, he not only declared himself a feminist, but he broke the LAW!

    I’ve been all over the world and met all kinds of people. I am not ignorant of them. I do not believe what other people who have never met them say of them, so I do not fear them, nor do I hate them. I can think of millions of reasons to hate people, I don’t have to add who they are to the list.

  4. 1 day ago on FoxTrot Classics

    @Mantydad – maybe they do good for their communities and maybe they don’t. What they they can’t do is stop police from shooting unarmed black people – look up the figures in the Washington Post database on police shootings. This is not “Fake News” – there are nearly 1,000 fatal police shootings of unarmed civilians a year, half of which are black even though they are only 20% of the population. The emphasis is on how these “sons of bitches” choose to protest and the reason for the protest is ignored by the “morally superior.”

    For the record, I believe there are better ways to protest and that “Every life matters.”

  5. 2 days ago on Loose Parts

    OK, I need to take a poll here. I have been going to the dentist for over 60 years. I have yet to see a male dental hygienist in all that time. Has anyone ever seen one or are they like unicorns and the Lock Ness Monster?

  6. 2 days ago on Jeff Stahler

    Word of the Year 2017: Complicit – the GOP (Government Over People) is complicit about Trump – they live in fear of offending this “like, really smart, stable genius.”

  7. 2 days ago on Herman

    There was a tine in my life when I was running 5 miles every day. That sort of activity lowers your resting heart rate a lot.

    So I have elbow surgery and I am in the recovery room. My wife, a nurse at the hospital, is at my side as a professional courtesy.

    I come to and look at the monitors and I control my breathing and try to relax. I manage to lower my heart rate to the point where the alarm goes off. As the crew rushes in, my wife says to them, “Relax, he’s just playing with you. He’s conscious and his O2 level is 99%. I’ll kill him for you when he recovers completely.”

  8. 2 days ago on FoxTrot Classics

    American football. Twelve and a half minutes of action packed into 4 hours.

    Team A scores touchdown – cut to commercial.

    Team A kicks point after – cut to commercial.

    Team A kicks off and it’s a touchback – cut to commercial.

    Team B attempts pass – the ruling on the field is a completed pass – play is challenged – cut to commercials.

    Ten minutes and a split Supreme Court decision later, the ruling on the field stands.

    Meanwhile the play is shown over and over again.

    Team B scores a touchdown – play is called back due to a holding penalty – cut to commercial.

    Team B has an injured player – after showing gruesome footage of the player’s leg being bent into a pretzel-like configuration – cut to commercial.

    Return to scene at the field. While awaiting the medical crew to scrape the injured player off the field with a spatula, commentators bring up obscure statistics about how the home team usually scores an average of 3.6 points in the last two minutes of play in games on Thursday night under a full moon when the temperature is above freezing.

    The injured player is removed from the field and referees meet for four minutes to figure out where to spot the ball and how much time is left on the clock. Head referee spends another three minutes explaining the infield fly rule or whatever other justification was used to make the call.

    Team B lines up to kick a field goal – calls time out to stop the clock – cut to commercial.

    Team B lines up to kick a field goal – Team A calls a time out to “ice” the kicker – cut to commercial.

    Field goal is kicked – cut to commercial

    Kickoff is a touchback – cut to commercial

    Two minute – warning – cut to commercial.

    Two minutes and thirty-two seconds of playing time has elapsed, meanwhile the smoke alarm has been going off for 30 minutes as dinner is burning in the oven.

    And that is how the exciting game of American Football is played.

  9. 2 days ago on FoxTrot Classics

    The Superbowl used to be played in January, then the NFL learned how to do playoffs like the NBA – insert a bunch of wildcards, divisional playoffs and such. Give it another decade and it will bump up against opening day for baseball.

  10. 2 days ago on Calvin and Hobbes

    OK, parents, admit it. Hasn’t there been a time when you haven’t had thoughts like this? “How many stamps will it take to mail him to New Zealand?”