Adam@Home by Rob Harrell for January 31, 2018

  1. Anishnawbe
    Allan CB Premium Member over 6 years ago
    Making English The Language Of EU

    The European Commission have just announced an agreement wherebyEnglish will be the official language of the EU rather thanGerman, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotia-tions, Her Majesty’s govt. conceded that English spelling had someroom for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan thatwould be known as “EuroEnglish”.

    In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”.. Sertainly, thiswill make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will bedropped in favor of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion andkeyboards kan have 1 less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, whenthe troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will makewords like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expektedto reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which havealways ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that thehorible mes of the silent "e"’s in the language is disgraceful, andthey should go away.

    By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th”with “z” and “w” with “v”.

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaiining“ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations ofleters.

    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be nomor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understandech ozer.

    ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!! And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!

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  2. Sevasleeping
    Serial Pedant  over 6 years ago

    I propose a much simpler version of English: ValleySpeak. Like, ya no, it’ll be, like, awesome, dude! Whatevs.

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    dlkrueger33  over 6 years ago

    Funny…I just made the comment YESTERDAY that I had this experience with “the”. Stop copying me! LOL

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  4. Grandpa hef
    Jeff0811  over 6 years ago

    My comment from late last night, still appropriate, but now incorporating the suggested changes here: Like, I kud of told you that, ya know?

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  5. Duck1275
    Brass Orchid Premium Member over 6 years ago

    Try turning it off for ten seconds and then turning it back on.

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  6. Mr haney
    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 6 years ago

    I have found words sounding wrong over the years.

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  7. V2
    Willywise52 Premium Member over 6 years ago


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  8. Th
    marvee  over 6 years ago

    Maybe I’m alone in this, but I don’t pronounce “why” exactly like the letter “Y” and I hear the “L” in talk.

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  9. Missing large
    whiteaj  over 6 years ago

    Ah Laura! The old Microsoft “reboot” solution!

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