Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for June 23, 1996
Let's Analyze...NATE WRIGHT'S REPORT CARD! with your hosts: BIFF BIFFWEL and CHIP CHIPSON Biff: Well, Chip, the school year's almost over, and our hero NATE WRIGHT has managed to survive! Chip: Right, Biff! Let's go over his grades, shall we? Biff: What have we here? A C-minus in social studies? Chip: Clearly a case inferior teaching, Biff! Mrs. Godfrey is psychotic! Biff: And in math, why only a C-plus? Chip: Nate deserved at least a B, Biff! Mr. Staples' grading system is totally unfair! Biff: Hmm...a B-minus in English? Chip: How can Nate be expected to do better when Miss Clarke is always pressuring him, telling him how much potential he has? Biff: What about this C in science? Chip: Hey, is that Nate's fault that Mr. Galvin is senile and never explains the experiments clearly? Biff: Let's sum up, Chip! What kind of grades did Nate actually deserve? Chip: A B in social studies, a B+ in science, an A in English, an A minus in math... Francis: ...And an A-plus in "revisionist history." Nate: Hey, whose side are you on? I'm a VICTIM!