Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for August 21, 2003
"Hey, let me ask you, Wink: What's your real name?" "Because there's no way you were born with name 'Wink Summers' am I right? What's wrong, is your real name so goofy that you..." "Okay, you're right. Saying 'Chief Meteorologist Dick Schipp' on live tv is playing with fire."