Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for June 26, 2011
Clap Clap Coach Calhoun says, "You're on deck, Nate! Grab a bat!" Nate says, "Right, coach!" Francis says, "Want a quick scouting report on the pitcher?" Nate says, "No." Francis says, "Why not?" Nate says, "Because you drive me nuts with all your stupid stats and saber-metrics, Francis!" Nate says, "What this guy's E.R.A. against the pinch hitters on Thursdays? What's that guy's W.H.I.P. in odd-numbered innings? Who cares?" Nate says, "That stuff means nothing in the batter's box! If you want to give me a scouting report, make it information I can use!" DOOF! Francis says, "I was going to mention that he's a little wild."