Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for October 26, 2013
Panel 1: "I've started a business selling horoscopes! I write 'em myself!" 'For a DOLLAR?" Panel 2: "Why would anybody PAY you for a horoscope?" "Because unlike NEWSPAPER horoscopes, MINE are PERSONALIZED! Here!" Panel 3: "'Today for lunch, you will have a tuna sandwich, blueberry yogurt. celery and a peanut butter cookie.'" Panel 4: "That's what I've had for lunch every day since second grade." "Exactly! Does a NEWSPAPER have that kind of knowledge? One dollar please."