Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for November 15, 2015
helLO! Uh...hi. You're new, right? Yeah. Then what you need is the official P.S.38 INSIDER'S GUIDE! It includes a map of the entire building, a list of the best spots to hang out during free periods, and a complete "lunches to avoid" menu! There's also a photo index of all the kids in sixth grade, cross-referenced by home rooms, activities, and social cliques! And finally, there's an entire section devoted to teacher rankings, physical traits, and unflattering nicknames! Wow, thanks! This- ...and it's all YOURS for the bargain price of FIVE DOLLARS! I was going to say "this is so generous" but never mind. Make it ten, and I'll throw in a hall pass!