I loved hearing my dad’s stories so much I would often come up with ridiculously specific premises for him to tell (usually stolen from other children’s books I read, though it was fun to see his take on them).
My first thought was as some have already said, someone needs to feed that kid, he’s still hungry. A bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs ought to do it.
In the original 3 Little Pigs the wolf eats the first two pigs and the wolf falls into boiling water in the third pigs house and dies. It is only in the Disney version that they escape to the brick house, even the wolf lives. The moral of the story was that being lazy has consequences.
My German grandmother used to tell me those tales, which were closer to Calvin’s idea than today’s sanitized versions, eg. the wolf eats grandma and Red Riding Hood. And nursery rhymes were pretty gory too, like Ring Around the Rosie, supposedly about the plague.
This is really common behavior/interest for boys. My brother and I used to read comic books called “The Crypt of Terror” and “The Vault of Horror.” Both full of gore. Mom didn’t like it, but Dad said it was OK. Today, we enjoy the The Far Side cartoons. Death wasn’t such a big deal, but BIZARRE was really what we liked.
my bedtime story for my two grandsons was: ‘’once upon a time, blah blah blah, yada yada yada, they lived happily ever after, the end, go to bed" they’d roll with laughter and I had to tell it 4 or 5 times every night
BE THIS GUY over 4 years ago
Calvin rooting for the apex predators.
The Calvinosaurus That Calvin Wanted To Discover over 4 years ago
Calvin deserves a Pulitzer Prize.
Sugar Bombs 95 over 4 years ago
I loved hearing my dad’s stories so much I would often come up with ridiculously specific premises for him to tell (usually stolen from other children’s books I read, though it was fun to see his take on them).
codycab over 4 years ago
The crossover only Calvin could ask for.
retrocool over 4 years ago
I like it.
GreasyOldTam over 4 years ago
And you’re left with one big fat wolf.
Charliegirl Premium Member over 4 years ago
I like this kid.
KA7DRE Premium Member over 4 years ago
All that eating is giving me stomach cramps.
batmanwithprep over 4 years ago
…and they all died happily ever after.
Jesy Bertz Premium Member over 4 years ago
That’s Grimm, Calvin.
shakeswilly over 4 years ago
Happens all the time in the business world.
A Common 'tator over 4 years ago
And this from the little boy who is already scared of the monsters under his bed…
californiamonty over 4 years ago
Actually, Calvin’s not all that far off from the original Grimms’ Fairy Tales. Those were pretty…grim.
Troglodyte over 4 years ago
Calvin needs to be fed more at dinnertime.
Skeptical Meg over 4 years ago
Grimm indeed.
Jeff0811 over 4 years ago
My first thought was as some have already said, someone needs to feed that kid, he’s still hungry. A bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs ought to do it.
jpayne4040 over 4 years ago
Sounds like Calvin just told the story! Now lights out!
jagedlo over 4 years ago
Grimm’s Fairy Tales as visualized by Calvin!
MY DOG IS MY CO PILOT over 4 years ago
Given the fact that the original fairy tales were much more gruesome than their modern versions, I’m surprised that this hasn’t actually happened.
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 4 years ago
Calvin has a definite ‘Game of Thrones’ leaning. Who knew, way back then.
redback over 4 years ago
a bomb dropped, everybody died, the end
J Short over 4 years ago
Any room for a Death Star in there?
rwc10 over 4 years ago
It’s the circle of life
Gen.Flashman over 4 years ago
In the original 3 Little Pigs the wolf eats the first two pigs and the wolf falls into boiling water in the third pigs house and dies. It is only in the Disney version that they escape to the brick house, even the wolf lives. The moral of the story was that being lazy has consequences.
garcalej over 4 years ago
DC Comics: Bruh, we could make it happen.
jel354 over 4 years ago
Calvin trying to design the original (expanded) Marvel Cinematic Universe.
carlzr over 4 years ago
There is a movie portraying Hansel and Gretel as grown-up witch hunters armed with rapid fire crossbows. I don’t recommend it.
coffeeturtle over 4 years ago
Many fairy tales originally ended badly…before Disney.
gantech over 4 years ago
Now there’s a story I can sink my teeth into…
j.l.farmer over 4 years ago
the end….good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite.
Plods with ...™ over 4 years ago
Well that was easy.
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 4 years ago
Well, you’ve supplied the story, Calvin. Write it down.
BiggerNate91 over 4 years ago
I would recommend “Into the Woods” to Calvin, but he wouldn’t like musicals.
johnec over 4 years ago
The bears never meet the three little pigs – why do they get to eat them? The bears should eat Goldilocks and the wolf eat the pigs and LRRH.
Man, that’s going to be one FAT wolf!
The bears will probably end up eating the big FAT wolf, in the end. Plenty of wolf to go around!
Snolep over 4 years ago
My German grandmother used to tell me those tales, which were closer to Calvin’s idea than today’s sanitized versions, eg. the wolf eats grandma and Red Riding Hood. And nursery rhymes were pretty gory too, like Ring Around the Rosie, supposedly about the plague.
readfred over 4 years ago
Calvin grows up to become a rival of Stephen King…
tinner2000 over 4 years ago
Hell! I’D like to see that!!!
paullp Premium Member over 4 years ago
His dad should get him a copy of Roald Dahl’s Revolting Rhymes.
DanWolfie over 4 years ago
Wolf: Hey, bears! I wanted to eat those pigs!
Mama Bear: Well, sorry. We were here first!
Papa Bear: Hey, how about we make a deal? If you show us where that Goldilocks girl is, we’ll let you eat some of her, AND Little Red Riding Hood.
Wolf: Well sure, since I’m in Red’s story too! And maybe we can see about Hansel and Gretel…
Ray_C over 4 years ago
This is really common behavior/interest for boys. My brother and I used to read comic books called “The Crypt of Terror” and “The Vault of Horror.” Both full of gore. Mom didn’t like it, but Dad said it was OK. Today, we enjoy the The Far Side cartoons. Death wasn’t such a big deal, but BIZARRE was really what we liked.
Brian Premium Member over 4 years ago
Still might be better than another round of “Hamster Huey”.
nsr60 over 4 years ago
Sounds like the corporate world.
InuYugiHakusho over 4 years ago
Calvin has the makings of being a good fanfic writer.
A Hip loving Canadian... over 4 years ago
I’d love to hear the soundtrack to that movie.
dwdl21 over 4 years ago
I’d pay for a story like that…lol
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] over 4 years ago
Hey Calvin, write it yourself and illustrate it.
Rocketman over 4 years ago
A fairy tale mash up before there were mash ups. Calvin started it all.
oakie817 over 4 years ago
my bedtime story for my two grandsons was: ‘’once upon a time, blah blah blah, yada yada yada, they lived happily ever after, the end, go to bed" they’d roll with laughter and I had to tell it 4 or 5 times every night
commerce1943 over 4 years ago
Thank the GREAT Cosmic Muffin that this kid doesn’t survive his elementary years.
WCraft Premium Member over 4 years ago
And for dessert – the witches house?
STACEY MARSHALL Premium Member over 4 years ago
Calvin’s Fractured Fairy Tales.
destryrides over 4 years ago
I think Calvin changed his name when he grew up and then wrote “Game of Thrones”.
glowing-steak32 8 months ago
Calvin has…certain interests.