Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for October 28, 2023

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    BE THIS GUY  about 1 year ago

    Calvin is going to spend the rest of his life trying to keep his eyes open when he sneezes.

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    codycab  about 1 year ago

    Gross? Yes. Something that Calvin will keep trying to do until he does? Absolutely!

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    dadthedawg Premium Member about 1 year ago

    “A Dad’s Guide to the Universe”…..

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    The Calvinosaurus That Calvin Wanted To Discover  about 1 year ago

    Good thing he didn’t say “Sneezing with your eyes open builds character.”

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    eromlig  about 1 year ago

    I think the same author wrote The Husband Wife Translator Book. (The left facing page says “Honey, I’m home from the grocery store!” The right facing page says “Get your lazy butt off the couch and bring in the groceries!”)

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    lalapalooza Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Hey! How come we mothers don’t get a handbook like that?!!

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    ArcticFox Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Dad’s getting a head start on being a Grandpa.

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    Dr. Quatermass  about 1 year ago

    Then there’s the chapter that advises dads that are pacing the floor with a colicky kid to hourly switch the kid’s screaming into your other ear so that your hearing loss in your old age is balanced (but still not fair).

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    in-dubio-pro-rainbow  about 1 year ago

    And I guess this book was written by “Eyegor” of the “Young Frankenstein” movie…

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    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member about 1 year ago

    What is the likelihood that dad actually thought up this answer ahead of time? Could he have anticipated that Calvin would ask this question, then decided on the “to keep them in your head” strategy?

    How about the “book you get when you become a dad”? Could that be a stock response?

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    cmxx  about 1 year ago

    My dad told me that all this stuff is taught in Father School.

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    einarbt  about 1 year ago

    Clearly skipped the chapter on lying.

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    GreggW Premium Member about 1 year ago

    So if you don’t close your eyes when you sneeze, you’ll look like a Tex Avery cartoon. Got it.

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    ravnali  about 1 year ago

    I feel that I really need to know where to get a copy of the book :)

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    steveh64  about 1 year ago

    People like Calvin’s dad must be how some superstitions get started.

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    cdward  about 1 year ago

    That’s exactly what my fathering manual said, and that’s exactly what my kids learned from me.

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    RussellCastine  about 1 year ago

    Google: When stimulated, the brain stem’s sneeze center orders muscle contractions from esophagus to sphincter. That includes the muscles controlling the eyelids. Some sneezers even shed a few tears. Perhaps people close their eyes while sneezing to prevent the expelled particles from entering their eyes.

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    jagedlo  about 1 year ago

    These days it would be an e-book…

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    dflak  about 1 year ago

    Chapter 1. “You live in a fishbowl. Your children will rarely do as you say, but they will do as you do.”

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    jonescientific  about 1 year ago

    Calvin is his father’s son…

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  about 1 year ago

    I thought for sure Calvin would like that and try to make it happen.

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    flemmingo  about 1 year ago

    He would be really scary holding his eyeballs in his hands at Halloween.

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    miztrniceguy  about 1 year ago

    I didn’t get the book!!!

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    boydjb47  about 1 year ago

    I love giving off the wall answers to our children and grandchildren. They mostly see right through them but its fun to see their expressions and hear their responses.

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Which Fathers book did you get? The “Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child” manual or the “All It Takes Is Love” handbook?

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    MRBLUESKY529  about 1 year ago

    If such a book existed and young men actually read it, most of us would get vasectomies.

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    rshive  about 1 year ago

    And Dad knows the book well.

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    HappyDog/ᵀʳʸ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ⁴ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Calvin might enjoy (parts of) the movie, Brother From Another Planet. The alien could remove an eyeball and place it somewhere like a hidden camera. Later he could replace his eyeball and see what had transpired in the eyeball’s view.

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    fgerbil46  about 1 year ago

    ROFLMAO!

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    basspro  about 1 year ago

    It’s no small wonder Calvin is the way he is.

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    Angry Indeed Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Where’s that book? I can’t find it anywhere! I’d at least be happy if I could a hand the Cliff Notes of it!

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    Can't Sleep  about 1 year ago

    Oh, if only there was a handbook…

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    ChessPirate  about 1 year ago

    ( ̯ ) ----☉----⚆

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    glkilowoggl  about 1 year ago

    Calvin’s father must have been exactly like Calvin as a child.

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    g04922  about 1 year ago

    Obviously, Dad knows Calvin very well…

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    BoydAdams  about 1 year ago

    Brilliant! Nice to see dad get an occasional shot in

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    Mediatech  about 1 year ago

    Like father, like son.

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    mistercatworks  about 1 year ago

    This actually has some truth to it.

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    locake  about 1 year ago

    He’s really an awful father, but very funny. He didn’t want kids anyway.

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    TimothyP23  about 1 year ago

    I wonder if Guillermo Del Toro was reading this as he was writing Pan’s Labyrinth.

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    Zebrastripes  about 1 year ago

    LOVE IT!!! ☺️❤️

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    sobrown51  about 1 year ago

    Wait…. I never got my book. My kids are all grown now. I guess it’s too late.

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    WesC Premium Member about 1 year ago

    In my memory of reading these comics the first time, I remember the parents as kind but overwhelmed people. Reading these comics again in my older years, the parents are just a$$h0les.

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    zarilla  about 1 year ago

    Nowadays it’s called the Internet.

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    Saddenedby Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Eyeballs are chapter 10 – it’s next to the chapter on DAD JOKES

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    Lady loves a joke  about 1 year ago

    And what he doesn’t know, he makes up ;)

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    Flatworm  about 1 year ago

    I love Dad’s explanations. My favorite was his explanation of why old photographs were in black & white.

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    Snolep  about 1 year ago

    He asked ChatGPT.

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    mindjob  about 1 year ago

    He’ll try to stop sneezing because he doesn’t want his brains to fly out

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    Curiosity Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Wait, what? There’s a book? I raised 2 kids and never got any book! Certainly not an owner’s manual, much less a teach-life-lesson-plan book.

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    Earnestly Frank  about 1 year ago

    Yeah, the last time it happened to me when I did that it took me three weeks to recover.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  about 1 year ago

    I’ve wondered that myself. But I don’t believe Dad’s explanation.

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    Not the Smartest Man On the Planet -- Maybe Close Premium Member about 1 year ago

    Dad is my favorite character in the strip.

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    Ammo hates the comment policy  Premium Member about 1 year ago

    My Pops is 87 and still pulls stuff like this. He told me so many dad fibs as a kid sometimes I still believe them.

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    dziner88  about 1 year ago

    My dad was like this when I was a kid…

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