I told my algebra teacher that I didn’t understand algebra at all. I didn’t understand math with letters rather than numbers and I didn’t know what “X” was. He told me that “X” could be anything. I said that if that was true why did he mark my answer wrong. He sighed and shook his head while he walked off. Even the teacher didn’t have an answer to my question.
Sounds like “Bistro Math” from the “Hitch-Hikers guide to the Galaxy”
Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behaviour of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that time was not an absolute but depended on the observer’s movement in space, and that space was not an absolute, but depended on the observer’s movement in time, it is now realised that numbers are not absolute, but depended on the observer’s movement in restaurants.
The first non-absolute number is the number of people for whom the table is reserved. This will vary during the course of the first three telephone calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number of people who actually turn up, or to the number of people who subsequently join them after the show/match/party/gig, or to the number of people who leave when they see who else has turned up. The second non-absolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now known to be one of those most bizarre of the mathematical concepts, a recipriversexcluson, a number whose existence can only be defined as being anything, other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is the one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party will arrive.
Recipriversexclusons now play a vital part in many branches of math, including statistics and accountancy and also form the basic equations used to engineer the Somebody Else’s Problem field. The third and most mysterious piece of non-absoluteness of all lies in the relationship between the number of items on the check, the cost of each item, the number of people at the table and what they are each prepared to pay for. (The number of people who actually brought any money is only a sub-phenomenon in this field.) The baffling discrepancies that used to occur at this point remained uninvestigated for centuries simply because no one took them seriously. They were at the time put down to such things as politeness, rudeness, mea
They were at the time put down to such things as politeness, rudeness, meanness, flashiness, tiredness, emotionality or the lateness of the hour, and completely forgotten about on the following morning. They were never tested under laboratory conditions, of course, because they never occurred in laboratories – not in reputable laboratories at least.
And so it was only with the advent of pocket computers that the startling truth became finally apparent, and it was this: Numbers written on restaurant checks within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single statement took the scientific world by storm. It completely revolutionised it. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity and heart failure and the science of math was put back by years. Slowly, however, the implications of the idea began to be understood. To begin with it had been too stark, too crazy, too much like what the man in the street would have said “Oh, yes, I could have told you that.” Then some phrases like “Interactive Subjectivity Frameworks” were invented, and everybody was able to relax and get on with it.
Miss Wormwood gave up on ‘show me your work’ requirement. It caused excessive character development with Calvin and herself. In her case, the excessive character development was found in the bottom of a bottle of booze.
When my son struggled with math, I had him use manipulatives—small blocks that students can move around to work out basic math. His math skills soared because the abstract concepts became real to him.
Y is indeed a square number. (Even though I know Hobbes is full of it here, he’s selling his BS so well that I’m desperately trying to make sense of it.)
Interesting that Hobbes could also derive the correct answer from what he was doing. The area of the square would have been 18. then bisecting it would have equaled nine.
The Calvinosaurus That Calvin Wanted To Discover 2 months ago
Miss Wormwood clearly hasn’t taught the Pythagorean theorem well enough.
dadthedawg Premium Member 2 months ago
5 out of 4 people struggle with math…..
Spacehog 2 months ago
The teacher would give credit for the creativity
oldpine52 2 months ago
Now I know where common core came from.
Blu Bunny 2 months ago
Count it out on your fingers.
Blu Bunny 2 months ago
Hobbes is more knowledged in algebra and geometry, not basic math.
Jonfield 2 months ago
I thought you had to multiply them?
orinoco womble 2 months ago
That’s a new math, all right…
Jayalexander 2 months ago
Same reason I flunked Algebra
snsurone76 2 months ago
OK, Hobbes—explain the Pythagorean Theory!
WaywardWind 2 months ago
I told my algebra teacher that I didn’t understand algebra at all. I didn’t understand math with letters rather than numbers and I didn’t know what “X” was. He told me that “X” could be anything. I said that if that was true why did he mark my answer wrong. He sighed and shook his head while he walked off. Even the teacher didn’t have an answer to my question.
BigDaveGlass 2 months ago
Sounds like “Bistro Math” from the “Hitch-Hikers guide to the Galaxy”
Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behaviour of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that time was not an absolute but depended on the observer’s movement in space, and that space was not an absolute, but depended on the observer’s movement in time, it is now realised that numbers are not absolute, but depended on the observer’s movement in restaurants.The first non-absolute number is the number of people for whom the table is reserved. This will vary during the course of the first three telephone calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number of people who actually turn up, or to the number of people who subsequently join them after the show/match/party/gig, or to the number of people who leave when they see who else has turned up. The second non-absolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now known to be one of those most bizarre of the mathematical concepts, a recipriversexcluson, a number whose existence can only be defined as being anything, other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is the one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party will arrive.
Recipriversexclusons now play a vital part in many branches of math, including statistics and accountancy and also form the basic equations used to engineer the Somebody Else’s Problem field. The third and most mysterious piece of non-absoluteness of all lies in the relationship between the number of items on the check, the cost of each item, the number of people at the table and what they are each prepared to pay for. (The number of people who actually brought any money is only a sub-phenomenon in this field.) The baffling discrepancies that used to occur at this point remained uninvestigated for centuries simply because no one took them seriously. They were at the time put down to such things as politeness, rudeness, mea
BigDaveGlass 2 months ago
They were at the time put down to such things as politeness, rudeness, meanness, flashiness, tiredness, emotionality or the lateness of the hour, and completely forgotten about on the following morning. They were never tested under laboratory conditions, of course, because they never occurred in laboratories – not in reputable laboratories at least.
And so it was only with the advent of pocket computers that the startling truth became finally apparent, and it was this: Numbers written on restaurant checks within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single statement took the scientific world by storm. It completely revolutionised it. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity and heart failure and the science of math was put back by years. Slowly, however, the implications of the idea began to be understood. To begin with it had been too stark, too crazy, too much like what the man in the street would have said “Oh, yes, I could have told you that.” Then some phrases like “Interactive Subjectivity Frameworks” were invented, and everybody was able to relax and get on with it.
einarbt 2 months ago
I am glad Hobbes is there to help Calvin.
jmworacle 2 months ago
Talk about the blind leading the visually impaired…
Calvinist1966 2 months ago
This is the beginning of the story arc which will include the first ever mention of the Noodle Incident.
Ropey Wee Yoofo 2 months ago
This was always an unusual strip, in that it focuses on making Hobbes look ridiculous.
Gent 2 months ago
Use yours fingers kid. There ten of em.
jahays1 2 months ago
I think Hobbes could get a job at NASA or at least Boeing.
mckeonfuneralhomebx 2 months ago
Hobbes was almost there, if he answered it 3 squared he would have gotten out of home work for the whole year.
Watchdog 2 months ago
Are Calvin and the cat working in a government office
SquidGamerGal 2 months ago
GAH!! It’s 9! You should know this stuff by now!
Twelve Badgers in a Suit Premium Member 2 months ago
A square with sides of different lengths. That makes sense.
Purple People Eater 2 months ago
6 + 3 = 6.7 according to Hobbes.
Robert4170 2 months ago
This is the same kid with an immense vocabulary and grasp of philosophical concepts.
baskate_2000 2 months ago
This is where Hobbes’ stuffed animal brain comes into play.
Redd Panda 2 months ago
All seems logical to me. Where’s the joke?
rshive 2 months ago
Tiger math is different from human math.
rockyridge1977 2 months ago
Yep…..gonna make it work!!!!!
uniquename 2 months ago
“Y as in y do we care” That’s great!
EMGULS79 2 months ago
Given that Hobbes lives only in Calvin’s imagination, he should have mentioned imaginary numbers!!
notjimothy 2 months ago
Dad and at least one CPA tried to teach me the Times Tables before giving up. Mom ,a school teacher, never even tried
Angry Indeed Premium Member 2 months ago
Listening to Hobbes’s explanations of how to solve the problem is like peering into to Calvin’s brain, watching a Rube Goldberg machine in action.
dflak 2 months ago
How much is 6 + 3?
Accountant: 9
Carpenter: eight and 63/64th of an inch.
Engineer: (fiddling with his slide rule): 8.999
Lawyer: How much do you want it to be.
Arizona Republican: Some say it’s 9 but we’re still recounting.
Florida Educator: That’s woke math.
gozirra2 Premium Member 2 months ago
Miss Wormwood gave up on ‘show me your work’ requirement. It caused excessive character development with Calvin and herself. In her case, the excessive character development was found in the bottom of a bottle of booze.
g04922 2 months ago
LOL… Tiger Math is complicated.
Radkins27 2 months ago
Oh, come on! It’s obviously 63!
MEPace 2 months ago
I wish I had had Hobbes as my teacher. My math teacher started with the Peano axioms.
locake 2 months ago
My daughter did well on Algebra tests. It asked Can you Solve for X? Her answer was No, I cannot. That was correct for her.
Just-me 2 months ago
Calvin, you take the square root of the hippopotamus and divide by 36 to get the answer.
rasputin's horoscope 2 months ago
All the comic strip boys are having math issues today.
worddancer 2 months ago
When my son struggled with math, I had him use manipulatives—small blocks that students can move around to work out basic math. His math skills soared because the abstract concepts became real to him.
John Jorgensen 2 months ago
Y is indeed a square number. (Even though I know Hobbes is full of it here, he’s selling his BS so well that I’m desperately trying to make sense of it.)
Skeptical Meg 2 months ago
Well, the answer is a square number.
Calvins Brother 2 months ago
Go ask Susie and Mr Bun.
DJohnny 2 months ago
I’m sharing an old classic!
There are 10 types of people who has an opinion about this comic – the ones who like it, and the ones who dislike it.
kendavis09 2 months ago
If your IQ divided by your age is less than (0) then the answer is the square root of 81.
billdaviswords 2 months ago
One of the best Calvin and Hobbes, and that’s saying a lot.
anomaly 2 months ago
But one side of the square is 3 and 3-squared is 9. See how easy it is?
kathleenhicks62 2 months ago
Wow! They sure lost me!
drds2 2 months ago
If it doesn’t make sense just make a bigger square! Or shift the goal posts ..
lnrokr55 2 months ago
Well, good luck with your career driving for Uber, they love having people that work for them that can’t do math ! ;-)
apoch003 2 months ago
Interesting that Hobbes could also derive the correct answer from what he was doing. The area of the square would have been 18. then bisecting it would have equaled nine.
kjnrun 2 months ago
There are three types of people in the world; those that can count and those that can’t.
Nick Danger 2 months ago
This sounds like the common core solution to math problems
Rio Smith 2 months ago
reading this during a math class and trying to keep the laugh in
Karptaz 2 months ago
Has to be the new math
willie_mctell 2 months ago
I didn’t have any trouble with arithmetic but I never checked my work so I often got wrong answers.
eric.franz.petras 2 months ago
If his measurement of the diagonal is under 2, he doesn’t know how to use a ruler either.
mac04416 2 months ago
Oh come on people Y = 6.7
ellisaana Premium Member 2 months ago
What Hobbs lacks in math ability, he makes up in creativity.
Strawberry King 2 months ago
Come again, Hobbes?
wiley207 2 months ago
Indeed, I remember how difficult “higher math” was starting in high school.