Candorville by Darrin Bell for August 17, 2022

Don’t tell your kids stories that will encourage them to do stupid and dangerous things.

Grimm fairy tales

Scary story!

Poor guy didn’t get splashed by alien blood first.

I warned my son about lawn mower safety by throwing a baggie full of ketchup under the turning blades. It was worth the price of a whole bottle.

During the depression kids would gather coal on the railroad tracks. One kid locally lost his legs. He later became a leader in the community.

I remember a kid telling me he did this, but I never saw anyone actually do it. And we got into all sorts of crazy stuff when I was growing up.

In the movie 1900 the boys would lie parallel/between the tracks before the train arrived and let the entire train to pass over them. I don’t see how one could roll under a moving train and lie on the tracks between the front wheels and back wheels of a boxcar which are likely 1 or 2 seconds apart. The movie ends when the boys are old men and one of them does like Lemont describes.

Rogelio’s method leaves something to prove in the way of success.

“Try itself and you might meet him soon.”

I got my morals from the same place as everybody else: 60% from my parents, 30% from other people, and 10% from thinking about it myself. This of course raises the question “Well, then, where did your parents get THEIR morals from?” And the answer may be found in evolutionary biology, which I like to illustrate with the following little fable:

A huge man-eating tiger is stalking the jungle. In this jungle live 2 tribes, the Droppos and the Grabbos. One day a Droppo comes running into his camp screaming “The tiger is coming. Drop the kids and run.” Everyone does. A week later a Grabbo comes running into his camp screaming “The tiger is coming. Grab the kids and run.” Everyone does.

The basic premise of evolution by natural selection is that certain traits will lead to the survival of more offspring, and over the long haul this will favor the species that exhibit those traits. Which trait do you suppose evolution favors in the tiger-infested jungle, the selfish behavior of the Droppos or the altruistic behavior of the Grabbos?

That is called burying the lede

I remember my dad & his best friend reminiscing about putting pennies on railroad tracks, running well out of the way, & wait for the next train to flatten the pennies. It was Chapter 3983 in “Things My Grandmother Was Never Told.”

Not a good idea to tell him that dude.