Close to Home by John McPherson for September 28, 2022

Where Stephen got the idea for Pet Cemetery

better than drawing tombstones on the toilet tank…

But do you know? Maybe you can get him some pet fruit flies which have an even much shorter lifespan.

Maybe he shouldn’t have learned to swallow them.

Fish carcasses are great fertilizers. Native Americans buried one fish under each corn plant.

Then they cut off one front leg from each dog in the tribe to prevent them from digging up the fish.

I told that to my dog and she avoids the corn field every year since. Potato patch, not so much…..

Or teach him about ‘burial at sea’ for them..

When we were kids the Tidy-Bowl man took care of our dead fish. …FLUSH!!!

How about silver fish? Much cheaper.

Yeah like NO pets at all

Bleeb’s in camo today. Hi, Bleeb!

um, oh my… is he that bad at taking care of goldfish?

I don’t think you do. Little Jeffrey might need to see someone.

Nah, just get him a mini fryer.

Who’s that hiding behind the tree

Hamsters? Same problem.

This cemetery needs to be scaled down and be fin-ished with it!

Nah, you’re just doing it wrong. 1. A rousing rendition of Taps. 2. The Boatswains whistle. 3. A snappy salute. 4. Close the lid and flush.

He seems to like these little funerals, though.

Is that a gopher behind the cross?

I guess the toilet must be stopped up…

He’s going to be a mortician…

It looks like one of those fish received a Christian burial. :)

Wow, someone is bad at taking care of goldfish. I have some over 25 years old.

Maybe if he kept them in a fish bowl instead of walking them on a leash.

A guy walks out on his back patio, and sees his little daughter digging a hole in the backyard. He asks her “why are you digging that hole?” She replies, “I’m digging a grave for my goldfish”. He says, “I’m sorry honey… but why are you digging the whole so big?” Her reply, “because it’s inside your f*$&*#@ cat!!!”

Keep an eye on that boy, he has the makings of a real serial killer.

Not even remotely funny.

Is that Bleeb in camo by the tree?

It would seem….

How about a life?

If this kid can’t even take care of a goldfish, he shouldn’t have any pets.