Close to Home by John McPherson for January 16, 2025

I hope Uncle Al is on ice somewhere.

IKEA cremation kits!

IKEA, UKEA, WE-KEA.

John, your least good toons are B+, and your average is A, but this one is an A++ . . . and I am a tough grader!

Was Uncle Al the guy who invented the Allen key?

A tisket, a tasket, a yellow pine wood casket.

You know, if you order sump’n large enough from Amazon, it’ll come in a nice, “casket sized” cardboard box. Kinda like your IKEA casket did.

Hint-hint!

Looks like Bleeb got out while the getting was good.

What a idea a flat pak casket !

Hint: The IKEA cremation kit does not require any tools. Add Uncle Al and place lid on top. It even has a sticker pointing to the opening where you pour in Uncle Al, and a sticker showing which side is ‘up’ on the lid.

But it’s their Termstoogle model. Top of the line MDF construction

Oh great. There’s a piece missing…

Well, it’s not like you’re on deadline to finish the project.

Use duct tape

Another Bleeb-less day, alas.

Cremate the old buzzard! Problem solved. Your welcome.

A company called Rocklers used to sell a casket hardware kit. Don’t know if they still do.

Bleeb sure has been coming and going a lot lately. :-(

And over at the IKEA headquarters the top executives are going…why didn’t we think of that?

Wasn’t the kit supposed to include uncle Al?

But you saved money!!!

“What the hex wrong with this thing?”

Caskets, cemetery plots and funeral services are a form of organized crime to heist ungodly amounts of assets from a family, typically from the elderly, before the courts heist away more from the surviving spouse or descendants.

(I noticed I’m not very humorous today.)

Just wait a couple of weeks and it will make for a wonderful Bounty Paper Towels Commercial. The quicker picker upper, Bounty.

Bleeb wants no parts of this.

no time to mourn.

If she doesn’t shut her yap he’s gonna have her get inside and “help” him assemble it. He would have done well to ask for Bleeb’s advice! :)

Oh no, another terrible thing that got me laughing! Cut it out!

As usual, they forgot the allen wrench.

I hope he converted the measurements to metric or the casket might be a little short.

Let me check with ACME and their rep, Wile E Coyote if they have one that is already assembled.

just put him in the box it came in

Just bury him in his Lazy-Boy. He’ll be more comfortable that way, and with remote in hand.

Just wrap Uncle Al up in tape and mail him to a museum. They will think he came from Egypt and put him in an exhibit.

um… how hard can a pine box be??

Was uncle Al still alive when you started navigating the IKEA?

Remember it’s bolt C that connects to screw B….annnd I only see 4 washers when you should have 5

Does it include an embalming kit?

Plant him in the garden out back, go green!

Speaking as a person who really has no life, a Close to Home without Bleeb is very distressing!