Cow and Boy Classics by Mark Leiknes for August 13, 2006
"What's the matter, Billy?" "I just realized I have no real skills." "What? Of course you..." "No, I mean like real survival life-sustaining skills." "If it all ended today, if the bombs dropped and governments fell and anarchy reigned supreme, there would be no way I could survive on my own. I can't hunt, fish or grow anything. I'm pretty darned useless." "We'd be at the mercy of the hordes of leather-clad mutants traversing the desert-scape in their makeshift vehicles..." "...Searching for the last remnants of gasoline. And we'd have to join them because we'd lack the ability to make it on our own. And like every useless omega of any group we'd fill only one role." "We'd have to make 'em laugh." "You mean..." "Yup, we'd be court jesters of the apocalypse." "Your whimsical folly has pleased Lord Gar. I will let you live another day." "Oh, thank you, Lord Gar." "You're the best."