Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for December 12, 2024

  1. Wherescs
    wherescrankshaft  2 months ago

    At which point, 95% of the audience rightfully complains, and the remaining 5% scold the other people who are rightfully complaining. All the while, Dinkle keeps his job, even though he explicitly told the audience that what he was about to provide them was objectively bad.

    And with that, life in these comments shall now imitate the art.

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    Argythree  2 months ago

    Is Claude Barlow one of Cranky’s friends? That would mean the carol is full of malapropisms, and would explain why it’s so little known. So – is Cranky in the audience?

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    J.J. O'Malley  2 months ago

    Well then, Harry, why did you spend the last few days teaching the piecet to the students and having them rehearse it if it’s so bad?

    How nice of Dinkleberg to just ignore the playlist the actual music teacher arranged so he could work Claude Barlow in. Or, on the next plain of reality, how nice of Batiuk to shoehorn another lame Barlow reference. “See, there was this classical composer named Claude Barlow, but he was bad it it. Get it? It’s funny!”

    Oh, well, another day or two and this will all be over
I hope and pray.

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    billsplut  2 months ago

    I AM SHOCKED! That Tommy’s going to actually maybe sorta kinda show the concert, and not just pretend it already happened. Shocked, I tells ya, shocked.

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    billsplut  2 months ago

    “And now, here’s another thing I know everyone will hate: Lou Reed’s ‘Metal Machine Music’ on flutaphone!”

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    Bill Thompson  2 months ago

    “It’s little known unless you’ve read Volume Seventy-five of my comprehensive magnum opus ‘Clod Barlow, His Lack of a Life.’ Copies available in the lobby!”

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    Kitty Queen  2 months ago

    Our poor parents! Forced to listen to our not at all good music skills. I apologize to my mom and dad for that.

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    Gent  2 months ago

    And me thoughts me foods poisoneeng was unbearable.

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    billsplut  2 months ago

    This is 100% a joke that would work in a gag-a-day strip. But in a strip that just spent 7 weeks wanting a Pulitzer for a story about a burnt stair? It makes no sense. He spent a week making the band play music that’s unplayable? WHY? How can you learn unplayable music? In a joke strip, you’d just move on. But in a strip that wants to be “relevant,” you can’t make such a tonal shift that the readers are left confused. Remember when “Marvin” became about the Dad getting colon cancer? The “Blondie” that ended with Dagwood getting half his intestines removed because a giant sandwich gave him salmonella? Thematically, that’s not that weird in a soap opera strip. But in Goofytown, it’s tonally WTF. Meanwhile in Crock, everyone poops to death from dysentery. “LOL”

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    Pedmar Premium Member 2 months ago

    If you want to hear some lesser-known Christmas carols that are actually good, check out a composer named John Rutter.

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    French Persons' Treasury of Self-Applauding Batty Premium Member 2 months ago

    Why do I have this incredible urge to just punch him in the mouth?

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    B UTTONS  2 months ago

    And the plot to torment the school and parents continues.

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    rockyridge1977  2 months ago

    To much talk and not enough music!!!!!

did I see Crank in the audience
..wishful thinking!!!!!!

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    Mopman  2 months ago

    This makes no sense. He comes in at the last minute to help them prepare for this concert. The arrangement of songs is set. They need help improving. And then he teaches them a totally new song at the last minute that he knows is crap even if it’s played correctly?

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    Irish53  2 months ago

    Zzzzzzzz
..

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    Cartoondog  2 months ago

    That is a terrible strategy to get a good response to your music. I’d like to take his funky winkerbean and throw it on Ed’s grill.

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    ksu71  2 months ago

    Meanwhile down at the Dale Evans 


    Ed: “Did you hear some noise?”

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    lemonbaskt  2 months ago

    crankshaft talking to two sisters at the airport olive and peach as they wait for cherry

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    Out of the Past  2 months ago

    I like the picture of the sign outside. It kind of reassures you that there is some place else.

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    GojusJoe  2 months ago

    Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Since you already hate me, I’m going to force your kids to play awful unknown music to ruin the season. -- Cue the laughter, guffaw, guffaw, hardy har, and ho ho ho.

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    BallotBoxer  2 months ago

    I’ll forgive this terrible arc if it ends with an enraged Crankshaft leaping out of the crowd and tackling the Funky Winkerbean invader off the stage while shouting “Get out of my strip!” on Friday.

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    puddleglum1066  2 months ago

    Called it last Saturday:

    Pro Tip: the band might sound better if Harry hadn’t replaced the music they’ve been practicing for the last two months with Claude Barlow’s Christmas Concert.

    I will add that I get no pleasure from being correct here. Being able to replicate Batty’s “writing” process is a worrisome symptom.

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  2 months ago

    All i want for Christmas is for somebody to knock out Dinkle’s two front teeth

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    tcayer  2 months ago

    So in addition to getting them in shape, he had time to teach them an obscure tune by an unknown composer?

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    MuddyUSA  Premium Member 2 months ago

    From the back row, Crankshaft opines if it’s little known why did you find it
..

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    Daltongang Premium Member 2 months ago

    Oh come now, how about so good music, such as a selection from P.D.Q Bach. Timeless songs such as

.

    THROW THE YULE LOG ON, UNCLE JOHN

    GOOD KING KONG

    or an all time favorite


    O LITTLE TOWN OF HACKENSACK

    O little town of Hackensack,

    How still we hear thee snore;

    The snow-deck’d streets that reindeer feets

    Will soon be prancing o’re

    Thy winsome children wond’ring if

    Old Santa Claus will show;

    They need not fear; methinks I hear

    His endless ho, ho, ho.

    O little town of Hackensack,

    How yet we see thee lie;

    St. Nick hath gone, by now he’s on

    His way to Tenafly.

    Then gifts galore to Peapack and

    Secaucus will he bring;

    He toucheth down in ev’ry town

    He doeth now his thing.

    O little town of Hackensack,

    At last the dawn doth glow;

    The sky is clear, no longer hear

    We Santa’s ho ho ho.

    Wake up! ’tis time to check out all

    The things you got, & then

    To drink thy fill & eat until

    You’re back to sleep again.

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    puddleglum1066  2 months ago

    My prediction for tomorrow: Harry and somebody else (Lillian?) will be discussing the concert on the Morning After. It will turn out that when Harry replaced the originally planned (good) songs with Claude Barlow’s (canonically so awful as to be unlistenable) songs, and the band played this horrible music horribly, the two sources of awfulness canceled out and the concert actually sounded good. All hail the World’s Greatest Band Director!

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    be ware of eve hill  2 months ago

    Much like the cartoonist who inflicts his narrow interests upon his readers (Harry Dinkle, the Dead St. Lisa, comic books, book banning/burning, etc.), Dinkle inflicts his interest of Claude Barlow music upon an unreceptive audience. Talk about art imitating life. Will Dinkle insult the audience by calling them beady-eyed nitpickers and hidebound literalists?

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    WilliamVollmer  2 months ago

    If the Barlow carol is so bad, why use it?

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    Surly Squirrel Premium Member 2 months ago

    This is funny because Dinkless is the only person in the entire auditorium who doesn’t realize the band would have been better off with the industrial arts teacher. What a maroon.

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