Dilbert Classics by Scott Adams for March 22, 2022

Nice purse

Ah, the days when you could pick your seat for free.

ohhh Noooooh facepalm i hate such ppl …. from within the depths of my heart

To bad Mace isn’t acceptable on airlines.

I’d like the option that the enemy agent had in Where Eagles Dare.

There’s never a five iron handy when you really need one.

I occasionally got to business travel with a company VP. He always got me upgraded to the member lounge and first class. And yes we talked golf. I didn’t mind…..

Could be worse. And I’ve six hours to think of how.

Get up and move to an empty row. Once you’re in the air the attendants don’t care.

Looks like the other guy has his leg across Dilberts lap.

He’ll be stuck listening to “tall tales” for the next 6 hours.

Time for Dilbert to go into meeting mode and tune out!

“79…. 82…..91…..85…..77….” all the way to Seattle….

When have you been on a plane lately that wasn’t completely full?

Years ago my mom would come visit us. She loved to travel by train. One such trip just a few days before Thanksgiving the train was packed. A woman sat down next to her and the whole time complained about how slow and awful train travel was, non stop and mom just said she could never even ger a response in. She just kept going on and on. Just as the left the last stop before reaching Portland the woman made a comment on how next time she was going to fly and asked how about you? Mom, being pretty quick on her reply just said, “Oh, I don’t know. I have two sons. Both of them are aircraft mechanics.” Mom said the woman just looked at her, closed her mouth and never said another word the rest of the way to Portland. Now, at the time my brother was in the Navy and he worked on the F-18’s. What I did was completely rebuild and overhaul engines to zero time engines.

Steward! When is the drink cart coming?

Dilly… Step 1 – adjust your seat back to recline position. Step 2 – slide out to use the restroom… Step 3 – never return to that seat…!

This is why I always bring earbuds and headphones when I fly. (I bring two in case one dies or breaks)

I had to take a flight back from a client visit in the seat next to my boss. He spent the whole flight “second-guessing” the day we spent with the client. I knew the client thought he was a pest. My boss kept trying to oversell and upsell, at every opportunity.

At one point, the client said, “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

My boss said, “OK, I’ll come with you and we can talk about my new product line.”

“Look. I’m going to the can … and I’m going alone .”

I just do sudoku puzzles

and even longer when the golf stories guy is next to you.

What are the odds that they are both going to Elbonia? Where else would Dilbert Fly?

Sigh. [has nostalgia attack for the days of flights with empty seats and replanting oneself in a less-cramped spot]

Never liked flying. My long legs made it uncomfortable to sit in the coach/economy class seating that was paid for by the U.S. Navy. After retirement I flew first class to Hawaii and back and that was a great flight. Still, with mask rule in place, I couldn’t fall asleep.

Captured! Held hostage to golf stories!

Can Dilly’s sanity survive, or will he be turned into a quivering, babbling, brainless drone?

As a founding member of the BGSA (Big Galoot Society of America), I’m one of those tall, broad-shouldered guys that people roll their eyes at as I approach their row. I think the airlines take perverse delight in cramming us six-foot plus, 275 pound plus guys 3 abreast in one row, while the row in front has 3 women who barely top out at 5 feet and the heaviest weighs 95 pounds.

At least I don’t tell golf stories….