Dilbert Classics by Scott Adams for August 13, 2022

  1. Missing large
    seanfear  4 months ago

    call Alice

     •  Reply
  2. Pictures 087
    Baarorso  4 months ago

    He’s glad he’s him-because he’s not the one who has to do it! ;D

     •  Reply
  3. Question 63916 960 720
    knutdl  4 months ago

    I’m glad I’m not you.

     •  Reply
  4. Question 63916 960 720
    knutdl  4 months ago

    “I’m gonna get me a boss man One who’s gonna treat me right I work hard in the day time Rest easy at night” (The King)

     •  Reply
  5. Man with x ray glasses
    The Reader Premium Member 4 months ago

    Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert! It’s time to do the Wally!

     •  Reply
  6. Missing large
    Olddog04  4 months ago

    Shove it PHB

     •  Reply
  7. Mr haney
    NeedaChuckle Premium Member 4 months ago

    The big boss would keep the project on his desk for months and then expect it to be done in days. On time I had to test a new piece of equipment and asked for the test procedure. I was told it was on the president’s desk. I said let him test it then.

     •  Reply
  8. Missing large
    Chris  4 months ago

    until he gets shoved in the dumpster heading towards Mercury.

     •  Reply
  9. Grog poop
    GROG Premium Member 4 months ago

    Our finance director did that to us all the time with no remorse.

     •  Reply
  10. Missing large
    preacherman  4 months ago

    Well, Dilbert, as Alice has the fists of death, maybe you could use that karate you learned and apply the feet of death. That’s defensive, isn’t it?

     •  Reply
  11. Profile msn
    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 4 months ago

    Well, if it’s important it be there immediately, it’ll be really, really important when I get it to you.

     •  Reply
  12. Intraining
    InTraining  4 months ago

    Be sure to let the PHB know you are on vacation tomorrow…!

     •  Reply
  13. Missing large
    stamps  4 months ago

    If Dilbert knows the phb knew about it for weeks, then Dilbert must have known what it was previously, so why didn’t he do it yesterday and surprise his boss?

     •  Reply
  14. Red panda small
    Redd Panda  4 months ago

    And tomorrow, he’ll find, it was unnecessary.

     •  Reply
  15. Kirby close up with poppies behind   close cropped
    mistercatworks  4 months ago

    I worked for a company that made “non-aviation related switches” for aircraft – things like attendant call buttons and light switches. We got a contract from Boeing as part of Air Force One. However, our product had always been built with commercial-grade components. Everything for Air Force One had to be built using mil-spec components.

    I got a quote for the mil-spec relays, told my boss they would cost ten times what we usually paid, would take three months to get and that the vendor would do NO WORK until they got a 25% deposit.

    Three months later, he asked me where the relays were. He had made no deposit, somehow imagining they would do the engineering work based on the quote and roll out the product at the last minute, when he got around to sending the money.

    In the end, Boeing took over the company temporarily to complete the project under an “incompetent management” clause in our contract. I was long gone by then.

    Pointy Haired Boss doesn’t seem so bad by comparison.

     •  Reply
  16. 20200319 192925
    IndyW  4 months ago

    You’re doing it because if it was easy, anybody could have done it. Heard that a bunch of times.

     •  Reply
  17. Missing large
    dv  4 months ago

    Probably on a Friday, too

     •  Reply
  18. Missing large
    Buckeye67  4 months ago

    Considering the PHB is number 1 on everybody’s hit list, perhaps he shouldn’t feel so satisfied with himself.

     •  Reply
  19. Missing large
    Walter Parmantie Premium Member 4 months ago
    Seems like Scott Adams and I worked for the same people at some point. Had bosses just like this.
     •  Reply
  20. Photo
    AndrewSihler  4 months ago

    Be very careful, Dilbert. Narcissists react badly to criticism.

     •  Reply
  21. Thinker
    Sisyphos  4 months ago

    Don’t do it,Dilly!

    (I’m not talking about the Justifiable Homicide of PHB; I mean the all-night’s work.)

     •  Reply
  22. Missing large
    OAP Premium Member 3 months ago

    In a control system there is such a thing as “dead zone” that is sometimes used to increase stability. For instances such as this after several urgent jobs that were completed then never asked about, I used dead zone of a couple of days to see if it was really urgent. If he didn’t come back in a couple of days to see where it was I would wait until he did. Most of the time he forgot about it. When I left the department I had a couple of “urgent” jobs still sitting on my desk from 2 years prior he had forgotten about.

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Dilbert Classics