Dilbert Classics by Scott Adams for August 19, 2022

  1. Ava2
    C  4 months ago

    The origin of bossicide

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  2. Question 63916 960 720
    knutdl  4 months ago

    STEP 1: Click on the options menu and select merge on each assignment you want to merge . It’s easy (or maybe not).

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    I'm here for the cookies Premium Member 4 months ago

    That is why pointy hair is boss!

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  4. Groucho
    Jayalexander  4 months ago

    “Well sir, the business one is count up the petty cash. The not business one is to take the proceeds and buy a keg to celebrate our efficiency award.”

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  5. Smallxtrees
    Dean  4 months ago

    Alice has been making an appearance lately on Stone Soup Classics.

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  6. Man with x ray glasses
    The Reader Premium Member 4 months ago

    If he had the experience of a Wally, he would have carefully chosen project A to be a fact finding mission at the movies and project B to be to go home early.

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    Bwingblue1  4 months ago

    If Dilbert had half a brain he would have found a job elsewhere a LONG time ago.

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    bittenbyknittin  4 months ago

    There is a fine art to knowing which assignments to leave on the backburner.

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    Chris  4 months ago

    hey boss, there’s something in this book I want you to see. BAM! It’s your nose. :D

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    Anon4242  4 months ago

    Yep. I had a boss do that to me. I’d ask him what order he wanted (speak now or forever hold your peace) and he’d refuse to say.If he wouldn’t prioritize then I’d do it and whatever I chose couldn’t be wrong because he had his chance for input and blew it.He’d still be mad but I got to a point where I didn’t care.

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    preacherman  4 months ago

    Dil could determine the common element among the two projects, do a project based on that common element, and present to PHB. The super won’t know the difference.

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  12. Intraining
    InTraining  4 months ago

    Give the essential one to Alice non-essential one to Wally and enjoy your staycation…!

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  13. Download
    Irish53  4 months ago

    Haha…. He sounds like my old boss

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 4 months ago

    Request an environmental impact study or mention OSHA and both of them will go to the bottom of the pile.

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    tcayer  4 months ago

    In the time you took to talk with him, you could have done the non-essential one.

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  16. Wizanim
    ChessPirate  4 months ago

    Well, of course, duh! Why didn’t Dilly think of that?

    (◔_◔)

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    Buckeye67  4 months ago

    Now that’s what I call a snap executive decision. No wonder he’s the boss.

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  18. Kirby close up with poppies behind   close cropped
    mistercatworks  4 months ago

    “So, both badly.”

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    namleht  4 months ago

    Where I work, we would just do both 1/2 a$$ed & that would be good enough..

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  20. Me kindergarten  2
    finnygirl Premium Member 4 months ago

    Like Anon4242 above, I once had problems with prioritizing dictation. The skeleton crew on the evening shift (usually me and one other person) could not possibly do all the work that the doctors marked “priority”. I left her a note and asked her to let me know which work was top priority, then in second place, etc. Since I knew it was a possibility she wouldn’t answer, I added that if I used my own judgment, I would expect her to back me up when the doctors got mad. She didn’t answer, but she always stood up for my decisions when doctors got angry and called in. As an added bonus, the one doctor who prioritized ALL his work (a real PIA) ended up getting a department secretary, so we didn’t have to deal with him from then on!

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  21. Thinker
    Sisyphos  4 months ago

    PHB resembles a punching bag. So, Dilbert, if you happen to jab jab hook we’ll understand and leave The Fuzz out of it….

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  22. Asterix
    Jaime Jean M  4 months ago

    Actually it’s pretty clever advice, coming from the otherwise dim-witted pointy-haired boss.

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