First Dumbwich Castle by Lord Birthday for January 30, 2017

Transcript:

8 ways to escape a painful conversation Let me tell you about politics Lord take me now 1. Cough loudly. Say, "I am dying like in the movies." Reveal a red-spattered napkin. Crawl away moaning. 2. Rub your knees together until a plume of smoke appears. Disappear in the haze. As night ninjas do. 3. Pretend that you are choking. When they say What's wrong? Say America demands too much. 4. Find a sword. Fall on it until you perish. Fly to heaven. 5. Sit on the ground. Rock back and forth while saying, "I have butt worms." Conversation = over. 6. Make a sound that does not exist in this world or the next. Let terror descend. No more fun talkie time. 7. Sock the speaker in the nostril. Apologize. Then: flee. 8. Go to the bathroom. Lock the door. Slide out the window like a rigid banana. California Jailbreak.