Frank and Ernest by Thaves for April 08, 2020

And always keep your ion the future.

Just not on the medical test .

I thought “Be Positive” was a blood type.

Make like an atom and split.

But beware, there is always going to be Mr. Negative in the room to counter. Example is …. he is… well he will be there. Sorry

A neutron goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender gives him the beer, and the neurton asks “how much”. The bartender says “for you, no charge”.

Ion-ly came here for a laugh.

I have over 300 .sigs in a database that I choose at will. One of them is “Think like a cation: stay positive!”(Another: Two atoms are walking down the street, when one stops and exclaims, “I think I just lost an electron!”His friend replies, “Are you sure?”“Yes: I’m positive!")

The name’s Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He’s 0K now.

Q: Why can you never trust atoms? A: They make up everything!

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na

Q: What element is a girl’s future best friend? A: Carbon.

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems? A: They have all the solutions.

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.

Sorry but I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

“You got to accentuate the positive….”

You can always tell if a person has a chemistry background by how they pronounce “unionized”

Frankly, Ernest, that’s a good message… ⚛️

Unless you’re being tested for a virus. Then you do NOT want to be positive.

Ernest is speaking ionically, of course.

Professor Proton.