January 17, 2018
Thomas Alva Edison can relate when he was a schoolboy.
Look it up. That’s what Google is for!
Where did Luann get the idea that she was good with kids when she can’t answer simple questions like these?
Ask your father!
its called stfu and put a cork in it brat
Luann probably does better on multiple choice questions.
For most of those questions, there actually are rational answers. Unfortunately, Shannon is all too often far from rational.
Don’t know about Santa’s birthday, but he does have his own holiday: December 6.
Luann needs to tell Shannon to ask her Dad, Jonah, about that. If Shannon says he is not around then she should say that Bwad, Toni and Smiley have all those answers and she should ask them at the dinner table. Toni would probably like this as it sure beats conversation around Bwad and TJ making innuendos around the baby carrots and baby back rib menu….. I would bet that TJ would come up with a nifty answer that would actually be a “whole lot of nothing” but satisfy the kid.
i hope Shannon mails her dad a fart and uses a baggy! (can i say fart in the comments? if not sorry i said fart)
1.) No, but he can banish it to hell. 2.) No such thing as time in Heaven. 3.) March 15th, according to santaclaus.com 4.) Egypt, around 2400 B.C. 5.) No one can own a planet, only the creator. Unless you mean all the Mars candy bars he/she wants.. 6.) Baby rattlesnakes don’t have rattles until they shed their skin for the first time. 7.) Sure, but where’s your manners young lady? 8.) It evaporates. 9.) Sure..no one will know it’s a made-up swear word. 10.) Bacteria in the gut cause it to stink. 11.) In one ear, out the other. 12.) Pretty much the same thing.
1. there is no need. He does assist with relocation needs. 2. yes but there is a slight difference in phasing as to not cause temporal interference3. Dec 26. They have quite the party ever year.4. Pocket dimensions.5. no but they can rent6. rattles as an accessory they aren’t old enough for yet7. yes but you have to be the one to lick the envelope afterwards8. no they turn into leather but it doesn’t make very good shoes9. yes10. to let people know not to eat it11. it goes out the other side. This only works with words. anything else will cause your brains to leak out.12. not sure. we are still waiting on the photo finish results.
How does food become poo?
How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
How do they get the weenie into the corny exterior?
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Why do birds suddenly appear?
Why do two trains always leave Chicago at 9am?
Who invented the doughnut hole?
Where do babies come from?
Can I have a cookie?
Woah! Shannon is talking about her dad! I suppose that means she knows where the heck he’s run off to. That’s actually a relief to me. I’m not even kidding.
What do you say if you can’t come up with a proper punch line?
Like mother, like daughter
Okay, I just have to rise to the challenge! Panel 1:
(First thing I’d say to Shannon, though, is, “Whoa—slow down so I can write all of these down and answer them one by one!”)
1. “Can God kill a ghost”? If you take the theological position that some do that “eternal flames” was supposed to be translated “terminal flames,” so that rather than undergoing infinite torment you cease to exist, then yes, God can kill a ghost.
2. “Is Heaven in our time zone?” Heaven is in all time zones simultaneously. It is beyond time. And if you think that’s impossible, just consider how you and a friend in Australia can chat on the Internet, with one of you enjoying a spring morning while the other is in an autumn night, but for both of you it’s the same “now”.
3. “When is Santa’s birthday?” Let’s look it up. Got it—St. Nicholas was born on March 15. Never be afraid to answer a child’s question with “Let’s look it up.”
4. “Where do clowns come from?” From trailers behind the circus tent, where ordinary people put on clown make-up and costumes. Of course, first they learn how to be clowns in clown-school.
Compulsively answering panel 2:
1. “Could a rich person buy Mars?” Not yet, because nobody owns Mars, so nobody can sell it.
2. “Why don’t baby rattlesnakes have rattles?” They do have a little button on the tips of their tails, but it can’t rattle yet because there’s no other segment to rattle against yet. They add a new segment every time they grow and shed their skin. I wasn’t quite sure about this, though, so I looked it up to confirm it.
3. “If I burp into an envelope, can I send it to my Dad?” Nope, it won’t work. The burp will leak out of the envelope before you could even close it, and fall apart on the air. It’s not dense enough to last very long.
DANG! I hit the two-comments per minute limit! So next time I’m combining 3 and 4 together—how do you like THAT, censorbot?
Ridiculously persisting to answer Panel 3:
1. “When fog dries, does it turn into dust?” Fog is made of water vapor, so “drying” just means that the water vapor spreads out so much you can’t see it as fog anymore. Then it drifts up into the sky and collects back together again, but this time as a cloud. That’s right, fog is just a cloud sitting on the ground. However, there can be tiny particles suspended in that water vapor, that could be left behind as a kind of dust, but so little you can’t even see it.
2. “Is it okay to say a swear word that you invented?” Yes. For instance saying “DANG!” is a made-up swear word that isn’t really a swearword. That is called a “euphemism”.
3. “Why does poop stink?” Because there’s a whole lot of germs in it breaking it down and making it rot so that it can turn into compost, and you’re smelling their collective breath. It smells bad to you—stinks—because anybody to whom it smelled good died out a long time ago and didn’t have children. They got careless about whether or not their food touched poop and got sick.
4. “When a sound goes in your ear, does it stay there?” No, because sound is not an object that you can hold and put places. It’s a movement of air, and that air movement whooshes into your ear and moves a tiny flap of skin inside your ear called the ear drum. Your ear drum quivers just like a drum when hit by the air movement, and translates that quiver into a message to your brain that you sense as a noise.
5. “Is forever-after longer than infinity?” No, they’re the same thing. When two different words mean the same thing, they’re called “synonyms”.
Mulishly continuing into Panel 4:
“When kids ask questions you can’t answer, what do you say?” Try “Let’s look that up.” Sometimes you have to answer, “Let’s look that up later,” or “Ask when you’re older.” But always let
These are not questions hard to answer…..
1, Can God Kill a Ghost?
Ghosts are already dead but God can send them away.
2. Is Heaven in our time zone?
It doesn’t matter, God listens 24/7
3. Where Do Clowns Comes From?
From Clown Cars
4. Can a Rich Person Buy Mars?
The chocolate company? Someone already owns it
or There is no real estate agent on Mars to sell it.
5 Why don’t baby rattlesnakes have rattles?
They do. They are just too tiny for you to hear.
6. If I burp into an envelope can I send it to my dad?
You have a father?! or
Sure, why not.
7. When fog dries out does it turn into dust?
No, it turns into humidity.
8. Is it OK to say a swear word that I invented?
If no else knows it is a swear word then it doesn’t count.
9. Why does poop stink?
Poop is all the stuff your body can’t digest, including all the stinky stuff.
10. When a sound goes into your ear does it stay there?
No, it jump right out. That why you can’t remember stuff
11. Is Forever-after longer than infinity?
Both are such long times that nobody has ever counted them. No, nobody knows.
You can not kill a ghost Heaven is not in our same time zoneFrom the people became clowns for the circusA rich person can’t buy Mars. Rattlesnakes refrain rattling because the Nosie attracts the attention of feral frogs. You can not send a burp to dadFrogs turn into dust to prevent the corpse to combustNo it’s not okay to say a swear word Why does poop stink read a book it tell you. Is forever after no it’s not.
nothing simplel about those questions
I like Woody Guthrie’s approach: Why oh why oh why oh why?Why oh why oh why?Because because because because,Good bye good bye good bye…
Everyone missed the hilarious conclusion. Unless you are a Gunther / Bernice, no smart parent would answer them.
Luann should respond to each question with, “What do YOU think? This would be educational for Shannon as she learns to sort out what she knows, what she doesn’t know, and what no one can know.
Shannon doesn’t give her a moment to breathe. She has question after question, she doesn’t really want answers but attention. Luann, hug her♡! After her, hugs your mother, which is always a good thing to do.
I always say ‘Ask your mother’, but I guess that won’t work in your case.
Between Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk, I’m sure they devising a plan to buy Mars and fly Spacexx to it.
I always go with: ’’Go ask someone else"
All great questions.
Or. as a certain humorist who enjoyed a considerable level of popularity in the previous century once previously asked, “Why is there air?”
I have a T-shirt which says “IDK, Google It”.
This why Dad Jokes were invented.
God can kill a ghost, but will not do so because Halloween is his favorite holiday too. Heaven is in whatever time zone it wants to be. Santa’s birthday is the same day as Saturnalia. Clowns come from Congress. Jeff Bezos will certainly try to buy Mars if it could make him another $50 billion somehow. Baby rattlesnakes do have rattles however they threw them on the floor so they can’t reach them anymore. If you burp in an envelope and send it to your dad, I will add my fart to it. Fog stays fog but it goes back to the fog machine. I have invented my own swear word too. The word is “Shannon”. Poop stinks because it goes by another word. That word is “Tara”. Yes, this is why you always hear voices in your head. “Forever after“ ends when a the subject of a fairy tale dies. “Infinity” is the same as a story arc for this comic.
Isn’t Luann in college? She should be able to answer a few simple questions.
It’s not for sale
Grown-up rattlesnakes are smarter than grown-up people who buy their kids all kinds of noise makers and then complain about the noise.
You say ‘I don’t know. Let’s find out!’ and then Google the question or visit a library and ask a librarian.
Introduce that kid to Calvin. Whata Pair ! !
Shannon: “Do you know what your $#&@$ daughter did?” – then her head does a 360.
If I listed Mars on ebay, how much do you think I should ask for?
Shannon is very curious. That’s how kids grow into smart adults and asking questions is important.
Shannon ask a lot of questions, but does ask the important ones.
“How come I see more of you guys than my dad?”
“Whatever happened to my mom and why doesn’t she ever want to visit me?”
“What does my dad do? I mean, for REAL?”
“How come days, weeks, and years come and go, but I never age?”
“How come I can’t get a Rottweiler fiord Christmas??”
He doesn’t have one
Sometimes it doesn’t
It’s the same
1) If He wants to. 2) Yes. 3) The day after Christmas. 4) Nightmares. 5) They probably already have. 6)They don’t have hands to carry them. 7) Let’s try it and see. 8) Apparently, and lands all over my car. 9) If I can use it too. 10) So you get rid of it fast. 11) Yes, it’s called an ear worm. 12) Only if you’re married.
My response was always maybe, sometimes and I will look into it.
And when all else fails, use the Tex Avery solution (look up the short “The House of Tomorrow” :D :D :D ).
Not sure where clowns come from, but an awful lot of them in end up in Congress.
The one about the dad is easy- “No. We don’t know where he ran off to!”
Can YOU answer them? Probably not.
Luann looks cute today. Love her outfit.
Shannon asks her Aunt Luann a bunch of questions she can’t answer. Luann asks Nancy a question SHE can’t answer (or, forgot how she handled it, back when.)
Considering she never stops for answers, just let her ask and ignore her.
I have a few questions of my own.
Why are we supposed to root for Luann and Bernice even though they’re constantly portrayed as horrible people?Why does Gunther act like he wants to always bang his mom and why does his mom smother him?Did Frank and Nancy drop Brad and Luann on the head when they were kids? (If they did that would explain a lot)Why don’t any adults ever discipline Shannon?Why does Tiffany always get crapped even though she’s a much better person than she was in high school?Is Greg ever going to get over that blonde cheerleader who rejected him in high school?Why are Greg and Karen such lazy writers?Do Greg and Karen have any idea how the real world works!Where is Delta?
I’ll tackle this: No god, no ghosts. Clowns are costumes. No heaven. Santa’s birthday depends on who the Santa is. Maybe someday Mars will be up for sale. Baby rattle snakes need to mature to get rattles. Sure you can send the burp but it will be received silent. Yes it’ll turn to dust if the frog is out long enough. Yep, I invent them all the time, say away! Poop smells bad to humans to keep us from eating it and to generally stay away from it. If a sound is loud enough it can damage your ear and that damage could be seen as the sound still being there. Infinity is not time, that’s eternity.
Honestly, these are all great questions and I’m impressed with how much Shannon thinks about things.
You answer, “AH, SHADDAP!!”
Just about all those questions have factual answers and the few others could be answered in a manner appropriate for the age of the questioner. Any good parent could handle these or Luann’s question to her mom.
1. Yes, but also no, becauze God and religion make no sense.
2. No, there’s no time there, so also no time zone.
3. Santa values his privacy, so he hasn’t released that information. I’m sure he’d be happy to get a gift from you any time of the year, though.
4. Let’s just say it isn’t in our time zone, either.
5. I’m sure there’s someone who’d be willing to help them think they could, for the right price.
6. Ask me again when you’re older.
7. Yes, but I doubt it will travel well. Your dad might like it anyway, though.
8. Fog is entirely made of water. Remove the water and there’s nothing left, not even dust.
9. Yes. Say all of the swear words all of the time. Anyone who tells you not to is an ignorant aśśhole, and you should tell them so.
10. It’s becauze of a chemical called bile. It helps to break down your food so you can get the nutrients out of it, but it’s brown and smells terrible. That’s why we dispoze of it so carefully.
11. No. Sound is energy. It gets converted to a different type of energy when it hits your eardrum, which is what allows you to hear it, but it also destroys the sound.
12. No, it’s just more narrowly defined. Forever-after only describes time, whereas infinity can also describe space, numbers and stupidity, among other things. But they are otherwize synonymous, which is a fancy way of saying they mean the same thing.
Ask you aunt.
At least a few of those questions are easily answered, especially the one about clowns and Santa Claus’ birthday (since he’s St. Nicholas who was born March 15, 270 AD).
Some questions Luann should ask Shannon:How long you been a brat? How long will you be a brat? Do you like being a brat?
Typical day in most of my HS classes, actually.
Why do birds fly?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why are fire trucks red?
Can I marry Siri?
What makes the sun rise?
Is the Earth flat?
Is the moon made of cheese? If so, what kind?
How come clouds don’t fall to the ground?
Is water wet?
Why did George Washington chop down that cherry tree instead of picking the cherries?
11) Why does poop stink? It has something to do with bacteria they make different gases.
Most of these are not hard, once you wrap your head around them.
Today‘s strip is my proof positive that Jonah does not exist.
Shannon has not been shown with her dad since at least 2017, when I started (resumed ?) following this strip (having discovered comic strips on line).
It‘s so bad that, when I first saw TJ, I thought he was Jonah. Why? Because TJ was the only male, not Brad, to be shown with Shannon, and we were front-loaded that Brad was not her father.
I know I was called out for that mistake. (Honest, I‘m sorry! It was a mistake! An honest mistake!)
My point is: If G&K wanted to show that Shannon has a home life with her dad, G&K have had at least six years my time to show it.
They have not.
Let‘s face it: Jonah was never more than a plot device to gift Toni an instant child. (A child that, to the best of our knowledge, Toni does not want to give birth to?)
And for those Germans out there, gift has another meaning, and I know that there are those out there who consider Shannon a gift in the German sense of the word!
Why can’t a mouse eat a street car?
1. What do you think?2. What makes you ask that?3. July 4th4. Paris, Texas5. What an interesting question!6. I didn’t know that about rattlesnakes. Where did you learn that?7. Sure, stamps are in the drawer.8. No, it’s just water vapor. It eventually reforms as clouds.9. Yup!10. Maybe yours stinks, mine doesn’t. P U!11. Sound is what we call it when molecules move in a way as to stimulate the sense of hearing. Once the follicles in our ear stop moving in response to the stimulus, the sound ends. (Yes, say it exactly like that, Luann.)12. Yes.
Or you can do what my mother did and answer all of these with “So that people with nothing to say can have something to talk about”. Try growing up with that. She did it in French, too.
I can answer one. Yes, a rich person can buy Mars. Just wait a few years and a few more laps around earth.
Uh…uh….uh…. SO glad Luann remains so stupid. It’s the one thing a person can count on that will never change.
Like mother, like daughter.
Leo Wong owns most of Mars…
Good strip today
The comments today are terrific! Kudos to all! \o/
Good questions, all. There are more, of course, like “Do turtles get homesick?” (the answer seems to be yes, they’re highly territorial and are remarkably good at finding their way home when taken away).
1. Well, He hasn’t had to since the Ghostbusters were started in the summer of ‘84. Things got quiet in the netherworld. 2. Yes. 3. Day after Thanksgiving. 4. A vat of chemicals in Gotham City. Sometimes sewers. 5. Well, it is on Jeff Bezo’s Amazon wishlist. 6. Mama Rattlesnake forgot to put them on her Amazon wishlist. 7. Knock yourself out. It’s still probably more then he gave your aunt and uncle on their last anniversary. 8. Nope, usually just puddles of water. Speaking of which, Puddles needs a walk. 9. According to an episode of the cartoon Recess, yes. 10. Depends on what you ate. 11. No. 12. No.
Well, I can give this a shot. Panel by panel.
Yes. Yes. I don’t know. They’re people.No. They grow later. Maybe.No. It depends. Bacteria. It doesn’t go in. No.There’s no such thing.
Kids wonder about things and it’s good to encourage that. Also, “I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable answer. They need to know that an individual adult can’t have all of the answers. It’s also fine to say “No more questions for now” or even look up things with them online.
That last question is pretty advanced for a grade school kid. There are at least two levels of infinity. For example, the number of integers is countably infinite, meaning we can at least begin to count them. The number of irrational numbers in uncountably infinite, meaning that there are so many that we can’t even begin to count them.
The concept has practical applications. It can be proven that the number of possible computer programs is countably infinite, and it can be proven that the number of problems is uncountably infinite. Therefore, there are problems that cannot be solved by any computer program.
A fool can ask more questions than ten wise persons can answer.
1.) Already dead. 2.) Yes. 3.) March 15, 270 4.) Congress 5.) No. As the law currently stands. 6.) They do. 7.) Yes. But it will have to be a plastic lined envelope. 8.) No. 9.) Yes 10.) Bacteria 11.) No. 12.) Exactly the Same. 13.) Improvise
Some pretty awesome questions, Shannon.
The problem isn’t so much that you Can’t answer those questions.
It’s that some of them should not BE Answered.
Yes Shannon, God can kill anyone and anything he pleases, including little girls who ask to many questions. He can even kill people, bring them back to life and kill them again just for laughs. Rattles on baby rattlesnakes are just like boobs on girls. See, I have them and you will too the first time you shed your skin.
Some are silly, some are profound. But kid’s questions are always interesting.
Robert A. Heinlein’s “Stranger in a Strange Land” goes into lot of detail on who legally owns Mars.
Come on Luann, those are easy!YesNoSame as Jesus’ probably, sometime in the Spring?HellProbablyThey gain a rattle for every year they ageSureNoSureBecause it’s the smell of everything you’ve eaten mixed with your digestive juices being slowly squeezed through your colon like soft serveNo but the memory of it doesNo
I think I’d say, “Get out of here, Brat!”
But I guess that would not be “acceptable in polite company.”
Clowns come from clown college.
Preview for tomorrow’s strip: Decisions, Bernice, decisions. Much harder than Shannon’s questions.
I just made stuff up. They’ll believe anything at that age.
You say, “Let’s talk about it, and see what we can figure out.” Taking the first question, ask what killing means and what it would do to a ghost. You might actually have a decent conversation, but more importantly, You’ll be asking questions and she won’t. And yet she’ll be happy with the situation.
Santa’s birthday is December 25th.
Where do clowns come from?Washington,D.C.
My favorite (which does have an answer, but it stumps adults at first): Why does a mirror reverse only left and right, but not up and down?
Luann en Español