Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for December 01, 2022

You still are.

Ooh, this is gonna p!ss some people off

But, Santa, you were the pleasant lie, a promise of good things for the gullible and the giving. Buttercup, on the other hand, has never made a deal or a promise on which he did not renege and leave the other parties – including the nation – standing in manure up to their sensitive parts. It is his nature.

Yes, Virginia, there is another presidential run.

Dear Santa,

I’m filing legal suits against you and your fake-news naughty and nice list. I was too a good boy, bigly. I am the goodest boy on your list. In fact, I am the goodest boy you’ve ever had on your list by a landslide.

All I want for Christmas is the Presidency. A kingship would be better, but being the nice guy I am, I will settle for the Chief Executive spot. I deserve it. God wants me to have it.

The report you are reading is rigged. Testimony was given by dead people, mostly those who died of the hoax Covid-19 virus. People tell me they saw Rudolf stuffing the ballot box. I’ve heard of a bunch of renegade elves dumping a sleighload of ballots into some volcano in Iceland. I have proof. My lawyers have proof. The My Pillow guy has proof.

You can’t trust those elves; they are all radical liberals who are out to get me personally. I don’t know why. I’ve done more for elves than any other president in history. They are a bunch of haters and Non-Trumpers. You can’t trust them. They ask stupid questions.

Bad people are out to get me. I’m not responsible and I don’t own the disgusting things they accuse me of. I’ve been exonerated; there’s no collusion. It’s an incredibly fake witch hunt. Trust me.

The machines used to record and tabulate the results were made in China. That means that they changed millions of my beautiful goods into naughties. I demand a re-re-recount but only in areas where it turns out I was wrongfully accused of being naughty.

I have friends, tremendous friends, very important friends in big places. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll overturn my naughty into nice.

Humbly yours, the best president the United States ever had or ever will have, America’s favorite president loved by all, Donald J. Trump

This should’ve been posted in the political section.

Yeah Santa remember when he was the Big Lie, I’m glad that he is discussing that with President Trump because Santa knows President Trump is the real deal and not like Biden who is the laughing stock of the world and a pervert who loves to smell little boys and girls hair and who is also guilty of incest like when he made his daughter Ashley shower and sleep with him when she was little girl, Ashley wrote about that in her diary called Ashley’s Diary. Biden should be in prison instead of at the White House.

Santa you still are the Big Lie, ole’ 45 is still the Big Liar. There is a difference, a vastly huge difference. Be glad for that.

Santa, you never were the “big lie”, you have been in the hearts of many a parent. The Big Lie tries to steal our hearts, and our Great Nation.

Watch out Santa, they will be storming the North Pole shortly. I mean you can see the North Pole from Alaska, so it won’t take long.

Sad.

Santa, the special prosecutor is requesting your naughty and nice lists, for review.

what a crock of crap ; keep politics out of your lib’ comic