Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 29, 2024

  1. Bluedog
    Bilan  3 months ago

    If you even believed it when a lawyer said that, you’re in the wrong line.

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  2. The rat
    Ratkin  3 months ago

    Even St. Peter has an Apple.

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    feverjr Premium Member 3 months ago

    Worked for Steve Bannon…..

    “An attorney for Steve Bannon argued in federal appeals court Thursday that Bannon should not have to serve jail time for contempt of Congress because he was merely following legal advice.” The Hill

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    Sanspareil  3 months ago

    Looks like Carl hired one of the orange ones lawyers!

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    keenanthelibrarian  3 months ago

    What about time off for good behaviour? Or is that purgatory?

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    Botulism Bob  3 months ago

    I guess there are no lawyers in heaven!

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    Doug K  3 months ago

    You need a lot of mercy … and grace through faith.

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    braindead Premium Member 3 months ago

    From Jim Wright, Stonekettle Station

    ===

    Trump: I need $540 million to appeal my fraud conviction for overvaluing my property.

    Bank: $540 million?

    Trump: That is correct. $540 million.

    Bank: You’re asking us to loan you a half a billion dollars? To appeal a fraud conviction? A fraud conviction for defrauding banks.

    Trump: Yes. $540 million. I’m good for it. I’m very rich. I can’t even tell you.

    Bank: What do you have for collateral?

    Trump:

    Bank:

    Trump: Well, I have some property in New York…

    Bank: Security!

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    rik.gocomics  3 months ago

    Obvious. Started with Eve, then Adam.

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    Brockie  3 months ago

    And God said, Let Me have you talk to your lawyer who told you that, now where in the Hell is he….?

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 3 months ago

    February 29th is the birthdays of serial killers Aileen Wuornos and Richard “Night Stalker” Ramirez. The attorneys for both were unsuccessful at getting them tried as juveniles because they were about 11 years old at the time of their crimes. That didn’t work, either. Dilly! Dilly!

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    Funniguy  3 months ago

    Product Placement even at the Pearly Gates is an important “Jobs.”

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    dflak  3 months ago

    “I was only following orders” has been used as defense before.

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    Out of the Past  3 months ago

    So much for searching for a lawyer who will tell you what you want to hear. (And it doesn’t take long to find one).

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    wirepunchr  3 months ago

    Ain’t karma a bîtćh!

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    royq27  3 months ago

    If you get to the pearly gates on leap day, is the “staff” procrastinating?

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    PraiseofFolly  3 months ago

    That background you see aglow Is from way down below/ Where bad lawyers go.

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    DaBump Premium Member 3 months ago

    Oh yeah.

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    ladykat  3 months ago

    When you die, all deals are off.

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    preacherman  3 months ago

    Fortunately, Heaven is run by those that forgive.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member 3 months ago

    Has anyone ever mused about how Jesus chose to reward Saint Peter for being one of his most loyal disciples? “Hey, bro, have I got a great gig for you: processing paperwork 24 hours a day for eternity! You’ll love it.” (I had a boss like that once myself.)

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  22. Odin
    Holden Awn  3 months ago

    In fact, points deducted if a lawyer told you it was OK.

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    mistercatworks  3 months ago

    How ’bout two lawyers?

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    ira.crank  3 months ago

    But I had faith that their interpretation was correct.

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  3 months ago

    Carl? Don’t you mean Donald?

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  3 months ago

    And besides that,Trump doesn’t like dogs.Automatic disqualification

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    Mike Baldwin creator 3 months ago

    I hear the appeal process takes forever.

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    joannesshadow  3 months ago

    I can’t tell you how many times customers came into our bank with paperwork or checks that were incorrect and explained that their lawyers told them it was okay. Lawyers are not bankers and apparently do not know how to follow the laws and regulations that banks must comply with.

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    mindjob  3 months ago

    Why does Peter have to screen everybody out? Seems like Satan ought to have some of that responsibility. The lines are longer there, I’m sure

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    Silence Dogood Premium Member 3 months ago

    Dotard’s dilemma, delay, delay, delayed!

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    leemorse9777  3 months ago

    Excuse me, but since God would have to inspired,slash made Apple computers, the concept, I would expect him/her/ they/ it to use it. Might go back to the whole Eden, apple thing.

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    thedogesl Premium Member 3 months ago

    Gonna be a rude surprise for the Orange Cult.

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    For a Just and Peaceful World  3 months ago

    Tell that to Trump.

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    eddi-TBH  3 months ago

    Next time, get it in writing. And notarized. At least you can the lawyer down with you.

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    jvscanlan Premium Member 3 months ago

    Especially when you go shopping for some lawyer who will tell you just what you want . . . like a certain orange haired gentlem . . . cretin.

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  36. Twblob
    SrTechWriter  3 months ago

    “… shopping for some lawyer …”

    … or judge … … … or court jurisdiction …

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