Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for May 19, 2022

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    enigmamz  5 months ago

    Aw, Lawid! It’sah miwacle!!

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    IMoRC  5 months ago

    What a yolk.

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    STEPUP  5 months ago

    Looks like one of them Texas mega-churches!!!

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    henshaven Premium Member 5 months ago

    All the eggs are upside down.

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    momofalex7  5 months ago

    That’s nasty stuff.

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    Imagine  5 months ago

    Looks like they’re buying it.

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    Charliegirl Premium Member 5 months ago

    It needs a little mustard and pickle relish.

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    A Common 'tator  5 months ago

    I wonder at what point someone decided that Humpty Dumpty should be an egg?

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    Olddog04  5 months ago

    What a waste. They could of at least made mayonnaise.

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    Imagine  5 months ago

    Also makes great deviled eggs.

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    Me_  5 months ago

    Whipped clean!

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    DebUSNRet Premium Member 5 months ago

    Love whipped salad dressing, but I don’t buy Miracle Whip…to dang expensive.

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    Sir Ruddy Blighter, Jr.  5 months ago

    To any who don’t get it: Mayonnaise is made from eggs and oil.

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    Doug K  5 months ago

    In his resurrection, he has received a new body.

    He has come back in a new form. It truly is a miracle. Amen.

    (I want to say, “Whip it – whip it good.”, but I won’t.)

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    KenseidenXL Premium Member 5 months ago

    Reincarnated, actually….

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    Jeffin Premium Member 5 months ago

    At least he didn’t go to Helmans.

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    SkyFisher  5 months ago

    Um…Mark, there are no eggs in Miracle Whip.

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    Back to Big Mike  5 months ago

    I’m pretty sure there is no egg in Miracle Whip.

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    Zebrastripes  5 months ago

    What a smear campaign.

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    jasonsnakelover  5 months ago

    And it was a miracle that he got whipped into shape.

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    goboboyd  5 months ago

    And he was then spread across the world, for the sandwiches and sauces everywhere that would only believe. Or not.

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    Spiffy  5 months ago

    Miracle Whip is a cost-reduced, long shelf-life goop that tastes nothing like real mayonnaise. It’s like buying “cheeze” with a “z.”

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    stillfickled Premium Member 5 months ago

    I cannot stand Miracle Whip.

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    spaced man spliff Premium Member 5 months ago

    The Mayo Clinic will fix the Humpster.

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    namelocdet  5 months ago

    In the nursery rhyme, Humpty fell off the wall. But technically, he never died.

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    cha0ss Premium Member 5 months ago

    Yuck. A miracle would be coming back as Duke’s Mayonnaise.

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    humorist54 Premium Member 5 months ago

    I don’t think salad dressing contains eggs …

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    TIMH  3 months ago

    According to the Nicene Creed, before the resurrection, he descended into Hellmann’s and was tempted by a can of deviled ham.

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