Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 12, 2002
"Can I help you?" "Yes, this is Pig, and I'd like to complain about your testing procedure." "What about it?" "Well, I'd do a lot better on your tests if I had some advance notice...I'm no good with pop quizzes." "...and I don't know if it's a problem on your end or mine, but I can't even hear the stupid questions." "All I hear is this long monotone sound...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP...I think it's drowning out the questions." "I'm sure if you cleared up a few things, I'd pass, and you wouldn't have to keep giving me the stupid test." "Sir, you can't 'pass' a test of our emergency broadcast system." "I really don't need your pessimism, sir."