Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 30, 2012
Transcript:
Goat: Excuse me, Rat, but I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. This is Antonio. He's a professional soccer player in Italy. Rat: Hey. It's nice to- Mama mia! Mama mia! He broka my leg! He broka my leg! Goat: Not all European soccer players fake injuries. Man: Can I breaka his leg for real? Rat: Penalty kickos! Penalty kickos!
freeholder1 about 12 years ago
CARD! CARD!!!!!
rayannina about 12 years ago
Yes, Antonio — please.
freeholder1 about 12 years ago
The Godfather is suing you for defaming Italians. Expect a soccer ref’s head in your sheets tomorrow.
legaleagle48 about 12 years ago
And no, Rat — “Penalty kick” does NOT mean that you get to kick him in retaliation!
freeholder1 about 12 years ago
Rough sport. all those missing teeth, crashing into the boards and slamming the net and the octopus on the ice, sorry, that’s hockey, the North American REAL sport patterned after the sissy game.
orinoco womble about 12 years ago
Actually, it’s Spanish soccer players that dive the most.
Bilan about 12 years ago
He’s a bit chubby for a pro soccer player.
Peabody-Martini about 12 years ago
Rat deserves it, so go for it.
The#1BoiseStateFan about 12 years ago
Son of a gun
SCOTTtheBADGER about 12 years ago
Here is Antonio’s chance to act as the agent for Karma.
Sisyphos about 12 years ago
I have a distant (very distant!) relative (same uncommon last name) who is a noted pro soccer player. Nonetheless, it is not my favorite sport. Run, run, run, (flop), run, run, (flop), GOALLLLLLLL, run, run. 90 minutes. Score, 1-nil. Boring!
finale about 12 years ago
One of my most satisfying moments of reffing came as I bestowed a second yellow (red) for taking a dive to a high school player “writhing in agony” on the ground. He immediately jumped up and started screaming at me. Took me several moments to compose myself before restarting the game.
eddie6192 about 12 years ago
I take it that Toon Boy is not a fan of soccer.
SwimsWithSharks about 12 years ago
The Italian soccer player can fix that leg. They fix a lot.
knight1192a about 12 years ago
No Antonio, you can’t “breaka” his leg for real. But you can “breaka” his head. Break it enough that he can’t speak or think for a month.
Tue Elung-Jensen about 12 years ago
Football ;)
Number Three about 12 years ago
LOL LOL!
Looks like you have another enemy, Rat.
xxx
A_NY_Outlaw about 12 years ago
Better yet- maybe Rat needs a kick in the oompa-loompas.
Vonne Anton about 12 years ago
While you’re here Antonio, call your Papa…we commentators will take 20 large pizza’s, various toppings (anchovies on the side for the wackos), some breadsticks, and don’t forget the marinara, please! Do you have that 30 minutes or less guarantee?
Rickapolis about 12 years ago
After the first two panels I thought it would be the player to flop, not Rat. Youa know what I mean.
Vonne Anton about 12 years ago
I gave them the same chance, and ate the whole piece of pizza to be polite…declined another.
Sherlock Watson about 12 years ago
Sing along with Sherlock: “What’sa matta you? Ay! Gotta no respect?”
orinoco womble about 12 years ago
The only use I have for tinned anchovies in in bagna calda, an odd pasta dressing made of melted butter, chopped anchovies, huge amounts of fresh garlic and grated cheese. Sounds gross, but over spaghetti or capellini (having dressed the hot pasta with a beaten egg) and with a nice dry vino rosso, hard to beat.
xpurplezebra about 12 years ago
i feed rats to my snake
CitizenThom about 12 years ago
Hockey is turning this way, mostly because refs have gotten to think if someone is injured there must be someone committing a penalty to cause it. So now some players fake it, because the refs don’t call diving anymore.
Homeward Premium Member about 12 years ago
Alexikakos, I’m assuming it was whoever finally put poison (or worse) in his coffee.
K M about 12 years ago
Saw an NFL lineman flop in the Baltimore-Cleveland game Thursday night. A lousy time for Baltimore’s LB to do anything that could be remotely construed to be a foul; but a really obvious flop by the Cleveland OT. Fooled the real refs, though: it drew a flag.
Squirrelchaser about 12 years ago
Football (American) is the only true sport. Everything else is just ping pong.
swimmom589 about 12 years ago
Cesc????
wowzo about 12 years ago
Stupid Italians :P
bmonk about 12 years ago
If he gets a penalty card for breaking a leg, he should be able to break it for real—double penalty, you know.
KatP Premium Member over 11 years ago
I’ve never seen a professional soccer player with a sagging gut like the one this guy has. o_O