Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 20, 2013
Pig: Hey, neighbor Bob. Thanks for meeting me. Bob: Sure, Pig. Whaddya need? I've got a meeting for work I have to get to. Pig: Well, listen. I know you have trouble meeting women so I wanted to introduce you to the nice lady sitting next to me. She's single. Bob: I dunno, Pig. I haven't been with a female since I had a girlfriend in the fifth grade. Pig: So? Bob: So I don't know how to act around them. It's been a long time. Pig: Aww, what's there to know?...Gina, this is my neighbor Bob. Gina: Pleasure to meet you... Bob: EWWW! GIRL COOTIES! GIRL COOTIES! Gina: I'll be leaving now. Pig: Bob...girls don't have- Bob: TAG! NOW YOU'VE GOT GIRL COOTIES.