Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 29, 2013
Pig: Hey, Rat...I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. This is Kevin. Kevin is with the C.I.A. Rat: AHHHHHH!! THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IS INVADING OUR HOMES!! RUN!! FLEE!! HIDE!! THE FASCIST TAKEOVER OF OUR REPUBLIC HAS BEGUN!! Pig: Guess he doesn't like the Culinary Institute of America. Kevin: Could it be my linguine?