Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 25, 2015
Transcript:
Pig: Well, I had an aunt named today, who had a cousin named Vicky, whose sister was Katy, who had an uncle named Paul, whose brother was Al. And Al is the bacon I'm eating right now! Rat: Wow. Goat: What are you two doing? Rat: Playing 'Six Degrees of Pig's Bacon.' Goat: Why do I ask? Pig: I"m within six degrees of all he world's bacon! Rat: Okay, lets try this sausage.
BE THIS GUY about 9 years ago
I’m pretty sure Pig is only 6 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.
Partyalldatyme about 9 years ago
That’s cannibalism. Or porcineism. Or something.
cdgar about 9 years ago
I have a sudden urge for a BLT sandwich.
wiselad about 9 years ago
and at the end, Toody is the widow of Al :P
blunebottle about 9 years ago
Toody’s cousin’s uncle was Al. Al could be Toody’s father. Which would make Al Pig’s Great-Uncle.
knight1192a about 9 years ago
Could be worse, that bacon could have been over 150 years old and named Lt. Barzilia Inman (no, I did not make that name up, there actually was a Lt. Barzilia Inman who served in the 118th Pa. and nearly became dinner for some hogs after being wounded July 2, 1863 at Gettysburg)
Bilan about 9 years ago
Al will always be a part of Pig’s life. Unless Pig goes on a diet.
inshadowz about 9 years ago
That’s it. Next time I buy bacon at the store, I’m checking the packaging for name tags!
mammamoonbeam about 9 years ago
Pastis’ pig parody is pretty poor.
whiteheron about 9 years ago
I can call you Betty,And Betty when you call me ,You can call me Al.
Carl Rennhack Premium Member about 9 years ago
Today’s travesty makes me glad I’m a vegetarian!
artheaded1 about 9 years ago
If Vicky and Katy are sisters, they would both be related to Uncle Paul. So we’re missing a degree here.
Sisyphos about 9 years ago
Pig’s rhythmic genealogical cannibalism might be disturbing to sensitive souls. But bacon makes it all right. Pork and/or Long Pork forever!
IronHead83 about 9 years ago
disgusting and makes me hungry for bacon, I hang my head
Lamberger about 9 years ago
Koo koo kah joob….
dbmeyer99 about 9 years ago
Actually, if you do the math, Pig is within 3 degrees of uncle Al. Pig’s Aunt’s (for the sake of argument his mother’s sister) Cousin is also his mother’s cousin. Cousin Vicky’s sister is still just cousin Katy. Uncle Paul’s brother is still just Uncle AL. Pig-Mother-Cousin Katy-Uncle Al.
OR he could simply be eating his own father… do the math.
Fido (aka Felix Rex) about 9 years ago
Familial cannibalism — that’s a fine topic for a nice Tuesday morning. Add Rat’s sausage double entendre and we’re all doomed to you-know-where.
Partyalldatyme about 9 years ago
“I tried to sit by Steve BuscemiBut he told me this seat’s takenI know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guyWho knows a guy who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon”
Lame Claim to Fame, Weird Al Yankovic
Gokie5 about 9 years ago
Well, of course I have to shove in one of my dear Mom’s favorite sayings, when she was having a not-so-great time:“I ain’t had so much fun since the hogs et my brother!”
luvdafuneez about 9 years ago
Wasn’t Uncle Al (the kiddie’s pal) on Laugh-In?
Bernadette Boe about 9 years ago
This is soooo wrong.
WaltWenger Premium Member about 9 years ago
I’d rather read about this than about the six degrees of suppuration.
abbybookcase about 9 years ago
kevin, you’ve been replaced
phlash about 9 years ago
Pig needs to go over to BC today and eat at Terminus Diner
gmu328 about 9 years ago
quite a stretch for Stephen Patsis to associate it all with Kevin Bacon …
heather dunham about 9 years ago
Okay… you can have an uncle whose brother is not your uncle too, if it’s your uncle by marriage (ie married to your aunt, your parent’s sister). But your cousin’s sister will also be your cousin.
Only exception is if it’s her half-sister, through her parent which is not your relative by blood. I have a cousin, my father’s sister’s daughter. Her father, my uncle, had a daughter before he married my aunt. So his daughter has no relationship with me at all, but she’s my cousin’s sister. But half-sister. And this isn’t common enough to be obvious, I’d suspect. If Pig just said “half-sister” there, all would be well…
wes tnt about 9 years ago
pigs will eat just about anything that you feed them. as long as it’s food. they are omnivores, after all. I’ve had one of ours hunt down & kill a chicken that got into their pen once….fresh live meat is always more exciting than veggies or grain…
Srover about 9 years ago
Disturbing yet locally sourced.
Sherlock Watson about 9 years ago
Today’s background music: “I’m My Own Grandpa” by Homer and Jethro.
Shoshie about 9 years ago
Oh please, I have enough trouble figuring how who is related to who(m) in my own family tree
Number Three about 9 years ago
Bacon. Yuck! I used to like it but then it started making me feel sick so I went right off it.
xxx
Logical Duck about 9 years ago
That could be sky in the background. Pig is eating Al Fresco.
Dennett Premium Member about 9 years ago
He should try a bit of Long Pig. Hard to find but apparently quite tasty when properly cured.
rajasetlur about 9 years ago
If the last character in his story was named Franci, he would had vintage Franci’s bacon
bmonk about 9 years ago
I’m not sure. I just know I’ve been separated too far from Bacon for too long.
verticallychallenged Premium Member about 9 years ago
Cannipigism?
Darth Revan II almost 4 years ago
Pig, how could you eat Al? If you’re going to eat relatives, you should eat Jerry
jonathanmehmen almost 4 years ago
That is soooooo wrong…..
Kirbo over 3 years ago
cannibalism? kinda sus bro
CesarSantos about 3 years ago
That’s disturbing. But pigs are truly omnivores.
Boxo croco says happy derby over 2 years ago
His great uncle?
The one and only Eldest Arc (now at peace) about 2 years ago
So it’s his great uncle Al? Great great uncle maybe?