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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 24, 2015
Zebra: Merry Christmas, Rat! Here's your gift. Rat: Thanks. Zebra: Gee, not to make this awkward, but I thought you said this was a gift EXCHANGE. Rat: It is. I go to the store and exchange your gift for something better. Zebra: You wouldn't. Rat: Well, not if you bought better gifts.
Unless it cost someone their life savings there’s nothing anyone in that circle could give Rat that he wouldn’t exchange. I take that back, they could give him a year’s supply of bear (which for Rat would mean 365 years supply as he could finish a year’s supply in a day) and one of those tacky beer hats.