Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 22, 2018

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    BE THIS GUY  about 6 years ago

    Pig, your girlfriend wants to continue this activity.

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    Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member about 6 years ago

    Swedish bookshelf

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    Templo S.U.D.  about 6 years ago

    If Ingvar Kamprad hadn’t died back in January this year, he’d be appalled or laughing.

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      about 6 years ago

    Step 5: beat the living pork out of spouse.

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    macky87  about 6 years ago

    I’m actually more surprised that after Pig read the instructions for #4, that he didn’t holler out that they CAN’T assemble the bookshelf unless they get married first!

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    chris_weaver  about 6 years ago

    Finally, accurate instructions!

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    inshadowz  about 6 years ago

    Something makes me suspect Stephan isn’t too handy with an IKEA assembly manual.

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    possiblekim  about 6 years ago

    Trouble with IKEA Pastis? Ask Rat for help. He will do a flaming good job Wakakakak _

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    jessie d.  about 6 years ago

    Men do not have a monopoly on this fun activity that can be done any day of the week. I sill have some parts never attached to said bookcase for fear the joy of it would be overwhelming for the thumb.

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member about 6 years ago

    I put a shed together all by myself. You just have to THINK about it and have lots of tools. I used clamps to hold the walls up so I could connect them, for instance. People are in a HURRY, the cause of most failure.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member about 6 years ago

    Well, technically, Pigita, isn’t his spouse. So, Pig, can skip that last part

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    Katsuro Premium Member about 6 years ago

    This isn’t a good IKEA parody; the real IKEA instructions don’t assume that the customer is literate.

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    Steverino Premium Member about 6 years ago

    Reminds me of the the three little words that strike fear into the hearts of parents:

    “Some assembly required,”

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    Ignatz Premium Member about 6 years ago

    In the future, when you buy a house you’ll actually get a vacant lot with 254 boards and 1724 screws. And one hex wrench.

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    Stocky One  about 6 years ago

    So they shelved the shelf-building project :-)

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    sixam  about 6 years ago

    Best IKEA instructions ever:

    http://www.mikesacks.com/ikea-instructions/

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    garcoa  about 6 years ago

    The real issue is that males like me don’t read the instructions. Then we blame IKEA that it didn’t go together properly.

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    tripwire45  about 6 years ago

    Never blame your wife, especially when she’s about to beat you to death with a board.

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    Happy, happy, happy!!! Premium Member about 6 years ago

    2X4. Best attitude adjustment tool ever.

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    the lost wizard  about 6 years ago

    They forgot the instruction where you lose that stupid little key which is the only thing that fits those stupid attachments. Instruction 4 then follows where wife blames you, even though she was the last one to have it.

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    A_NY_Outlaw  about 6 years ago

    I see Pigita likes board games.

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    Gent  about 6 years ago

    Yeah, you better shelve that plan, Pigs.

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    Lablubber   about 6 years ago

    IKEA YOU!

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    JonathanCOnP  about 6 years ago

    Look for “Apald” and “Laffn” at your nearest Ikea store.

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    Asharah  about 6 years ago

    They had a story in Reader’s Digest from a guy who writes assembly instructions, which requires him to actually assemble the items. Once he assembled a baby crib in his living room. When he attempted to remove it to another room, it wouldn’t fit through the door. The first instruction is “ASSEMBLE CRIB IN ROOM WHERE IT WILL BE USED.”

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    Sisyphos  about 6 years ago

    “1. Buy some books.”

    Even more essentially: get rid of that awful Pigita before she kills you, Pig!

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    pantograph  almost 6 years ago

    How do you attached 3 shelves with 4 screws?

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    GeifuKe  almost 6 years ago

    I just saw this and came to the following conclusion: Pig was screwed, and Pigata got nailed. As for me, I was board at the time. Stephan needs to be panelized. Why should I hammer it home?

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