Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 06, 2019

Make sure to get a security deposit.

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A coffee place I used to go to have a separate WiFi password for each customer. The WiFi connection would expire in half hour. You would to buy something to get a new password.

On a five year lease, argue for six months free.

(I am a LL in commercial properties).

was the lease Rat’s idea or that of the management of Joe’s Roastery?

Rat makes a good point. When people sit and nurse a cup of coffee and hold a table for hours, the company loses money and the servers lose tips. Pay up, dude.

So he gets a coffee and sits at a table for three hours. What else are coffee shops for?

We’re a respectable establishment. If you’re only here for a quickie connection, there’s a hotel down the street – $10 an hour.

I thought the rental was included in their atrociously overpriced products.

I fully understand that, customers like the bearded guy are not exactly what the manager likes best.

But then, when I am in the US or in Canada, I often experience that, the term “waiter” seems to mean “waiting for me finishing my meal, paying and then moving my but out of the location as fast as possible”. I mean: in fancy restaurants, not the fast food ones.

“Take your time” – their meaningless politeness.

Personally, I cherish the European alternatives – which are, by the way, on a mutual basis (for both customer AND waiter): “Gemütlichkeit”, “gezelligheid”, “hygge”….

“Do not be hasty, that is my motto”, as my very dear and very old friend Treebeard uses to say….

Having worked in retail, I love these strips. There is a guy at one starbucks near me who is literally there all day long! Ive seen him in the am around 9, and other days ive seen him still there at 5. I cannot imagine sitting there all day long. So sad.

Rat must be a shoo-in for Empolyee of the Month!

It’s not often I agree with Rat, but he has a good point here!

Does this guy have a sleeping bag ? ……… Croc Power !

I heard there’s a fast food place in town that keeps the temperature at a frigid point between 6-10 am in order to keep the old fogeys from having their coffee club there.

Rat is kinda cute in a bow tie!

RAT is very clever in-deed!

I’m actually proud to say that I have NEVER SET FOOT in a “High-End” coffee shop, so I can’t really say how true this might be.

At our local Starbucks, millennials often order a glass of water (free) and take the best seats, while they surf the net.

None of the other customers would notice how long he’s there. They all have their heads down doing the same thing.

This also reminds me of the old John Pinette comedy routine about the guy who goes to the “all you can eat” buffet and stays from lunch through dinner, eating all the while… until the frustrated managers tell him he needs to eat and then go home.

My nephew used to visit similar buffet restaurant. It was a “pay one low price” all you can eat deal. There were over a hundred items to choose from, but he would only select their lemon butter and garlic shrimp. Of course that was the most expensive thing for them to make and serve. And he’d eat plate after heaping plate of it. They took to holding the next tray back in the kitchen till he’d leave. Ultimately, they’d actually remove the tray already on the heat table as soon as he walked in the door.

He thought they were treating him unfairly.

Doesn’t Stephan do this when he is doing his strips?

I used to work in a bookstore. Couple of hundred customers a day, most just fine. But.

There were some who’d come in day after day, pull all the books and magazines on their current topic of interest, and sit at a table from open to close going through their stack. One in particular would pull all the “blow out” subscription cards out of the magazines and toss them on the floor. Not to mention food crumbs and drink cups from the shop next door that they left on our tables. More than once I’ve had customers come to me and say, “I need a book on” let’s say window treatments "but there’s a big empty space on the shelf where those should be. Investigating, sure enough, all commandeered by one of our “library” patrons.

Some of the abusers never ever never bought so much as a newspaper.

In recent years, the fortunes of retail brick and mortar bookstores have fared poorly. A point came when we didn’t have the money to reupholster the big comfy chairs and began to replace them with plain wooden ones. Also, we no longer could afford to hire enough workers to keep restocking the shelves from those tables full of “borrowed” books.

Some say these things should just be counted as the “cost of doing business.” But it reaches a point where that cost can destroy the business.

I admit a certain level of satisfaction when one of the known serial borrowers would complain about the lack of customer friendly seating.

HERE ENDETH THE RANT

My favorite local coffee shop has the best password: Buysomethingfirst

I’m in full agreement with Rat. This guy probably takes full advantage of the free Wi-Fi, or something

Which is really damn good reason to drink coffee at home

I remember the café at Borders Bookstore. It was a wonderful place to have a nice coffee. They would let you read some of the magazines off the rack or you could use your computer or phone.

It would be so much simpler if he was black. They’d just call the police!

My phone gives me free wifi at no added charge. If I use theirs, I have to put up w/ their router, and I have to use VPN to protect my accounts.

So, loud parties before 9 PM are okay?

Nice try, Rat. But that ploy won’t pass legal muster. Just charge him “the new price” for his Double Espresso….

Very bad rat.