Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 05, 2021

When a flush helps you with Good Housekeeping.

Is that published in Las Vegas, where they have a lot of playboys and hustlers?

Better bettor houses and gardens.

Let introduce our new character, Snake Eyes.

Ugh.

Stephen looks like a one-armed pundit.

If Stephan were a wombat he would have crapped out dice (cubes).

Security, please escort Mr. Pastis to the back room to have a little ‘chat’ with the casino owner…

Bet you 10 to 1 this is the worst pun you will hear today!

This one requires something bigger and harder than a baseball bat, a cricket bat perhaps!!

Wanna bet?

It’s good that Pastis didn’t refer to the small garden statues magazine.

“Better Gnomes and gardens”

WHY do Rat, Pig, and Goat keep readng his garbage lines? Revolt, guys, and make him recite his unpunny lines.VIVA LA REVOLUTION, OLE, OLE, OILY!

Bettor snafu than story.

That pun needs to be Royally Flushed!

HAHA

For those deciding between gambling or poetry: For Bettor or Verse

I’m just going to sit here gripping my temples and quietly moaning for a bit… ;)

Sorry, but this one’s a bust.

Sound like a bestseller in Reno.

You shouldn’t have asked, Rat. But, I’m glad you did.

Coming up with 365 new puns every year is not easy work I’m sure

And right now I’m reading Popular Sigh-ence.

“Groooooan!!”

Boring.

Aaaahahahahahahaahah……I luved it

Three lemons, Steph.

Nah that’s a good one, Rat. Give him a break.

I believe it’s time to fold ’em.

Steph gambled when he should have gamboled.

After Elizabeth II goes to the loo, she does a royal flush.

I guess the chips are up!

In Bettor House and Gardens the House always wins!

I think I only follow this comic so I can go “AAARGH” at the end.

Pun strips are my favorites

Often the artist known as pastis rastamon throws aces

See, what always happens here is thar Steph posts a terrible pun, and the commenters come up with a ton of better (or worse) ones.

While it is difficult to make a living as a gambler, choosing the right game for your strengths helps a lot. There are two games, one variant of poker and the other a type of chess, where I have never lost.

The poker game is High Chicago; you play regular stud poker but the pot is split equally between the best poker hand and the highest Spade held in the hand (not face up on the table). The first time I ever heard of it, I was dealt the King of Spades and could see the Ace face up on the table. I have loved the game ever since.

The chess variant I think is called Kriegspiel. It requires three chess boards and an experienced referee. The players sit facing away from each other with the referee’s board between them. Each time a player moves a piece, the referee moves that piece on his board — or he notifies the player that he has just made an illegal move. He does not say why the move was illegal, it is up to the player to determine why. The referee also notifies a player if his King has been put in check, adding “on the horizontal, vertical, long diagonal, short diagonal, or knight check” as required. While it sounds chaotic, I found that by mid-game I would have located almost all my opponents pieces exactly where they were.

The secret to my success was the same in both games. I played each one only three times and won by luck.

ahhhhhh dad jokes

That reminds me of my favorite magazine about hamster racing, Rodent Track.

Very nice!

Nothing but the best illegal immanent gardeners. Their Green Cards are dollar bills.

Sorry…that is a great pun,!

…and WHY is Rat standing so close to Stephen if Stephen is crapping out of his pants? Gross, Rat…get out of there!

This is one of his better bettor puns.

Am I the only one that is bugged by Better being spelled wrong?

It’s my mom’s b’day today!

WOAH, so many comments and featured only has 9 replies!

“My baby always tells me, ‘You should bet that the dice won’t pass.’ Ever since I been doing that I’ve got a raggedy yas-yas-yas.”—Peetie Wheatstraw, “Crapshooting Blues.”

I like the jokes. In particular, though the magazine title was awesome, I like Rat’s rebuttal to you. (LMAO)

I know a guy who rented apartments to two cotton bugs. He was the Lessor of Two Weevils.

That’s it! Somebody needs to bit slap his router.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3a/ff/b9/3affb9c689bfb0dcd628492c66cf0c03.jpg

Maybe change the name of the strip to “For Bettor or Worse”

Nice!!! He took a punt and won!

Rat, take Cartoon-Boy to Vegas. Use him as collateral. Lose on purpose. Let the Mobsters take him out to the desert…. You know what happens then. Better bettors.

had to read “bettor” twice … good one Pastis

OMG!!!