Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 25, 2021

“I apologize if you were offended by what I said because you shouldn’t have been.”

Rat is a born politician.

Some use a good back hand delivery…

No kidding

So he has no control over his mouth? Hmm…….

“He who laughs when things go wrong has just thought of someone he can blame it on.” —Benny Hill

MANY apologies are of the form “I’m sorry you feel that way”, though the cleverest of them are somewhat hidden by the speaker. Put into a more realistic context, Rat would be saying "I’m sorry I spoke that way, but (it’s not my fault because) I was really upset at the time.

With Rat you have to take what you can get.

Hey Rat: to quote the late Senator Lloyd Bentsen to Senator Dan Quayle in a debate: “You’re no Jack Kennedy”.

Well Goat, it’s a start

Next in Sesame Street: the mouth can do excuses too. But it’s difficult.

Some folks let their mouth overload their a** in a manner of speaking!

Your mouth is writing checks your body can’t cash ….

Saying “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing.

Unless you’re at a funeral.

“I didn’t lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth”

Rat literally can’t apologize.

I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh, what did I say? Well, you just laughed it off and it was all okay

Lots of that going around these days.

My favorite non-apology these days: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. It was just a bonus.”

That’s as good as you’re gonna get from Rat.

Some have a hard time admitting they’re wrong…

If this weren’t Rat, I’d say half an apology is better than none.

With him, just saying what he said, was probably the best apology that he can give. It is the thought and sentiment that count. Just accept it and go on with life…..

That’s what TVTropes refers to as a Backhanded Apology.

Probably as close to an “I’m sorry” as I’m gonna get from Rat.

we need more Guard Duck

With Rat, you take whatever you can get.

It’s kind of like wife’s talking-muscle memory.

I am sssssssssssssssssssssssss — Arthur Fonzerelli – (Hmmm Arthur…Art…Rat is Art inside out!)

Someone coined the phrase “nonpology”.

“Well, then, bring your mouth this way.

I’ll find it something it can say."

—Theodore Seuss Geisel (RIP)

“I’m gonna give it a good talking to…”

I’m B-B-B BACK BABY

As for how this relates to yesterday’s strip, an apology can only change the past if it’s sincere.

“I regret I upset anyone who is easily upset.”

“ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” Holy Bible

Why bother, Rat? We all know any apology from you is going to be insincere….

Actually, he was talking out his rear end. His mouth knew better.

I’m sorry if you were offended by what I said