Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 05, 2021

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    BE THIS GUY  7 months ago

    Rat just doesn’t like his odds.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member 7 months ago

    James got Rat’s number very quickly.

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    Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member 7 months ago

    You’ll be dust. Nothing else dust.

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    Ryan B Premium Member 7 months ago

    Meanwhile, Pig is thinking of a literal wing.

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    tudza Premium Member 7 months ago

    On our “your money drawer is out of balance” check sheet there was an item “Are you off by a multiple of 9?” I explained this meant you had made a transposition somewhere and showed my proof.

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    Concretionist  7 months ago

    Whoa. What if Rat doesn’t believe in Hell? Can you get sent there even if it’s not real?

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    Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano)  7 months ago

    Dang it, Jim! That was too good!

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    BasilBruce  7 months ago

    I’m not too sure about that second option; I’ve never seen an evil doorstop.

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    hariseldon59  7 months ago

    Sounds about right in Rat’s case. For Pig, I’d say he has a 100 percent chance of returning as bacon or sausage.

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    Digital Frog  7 months ago

    84.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.

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    ronaldspence  7 months ago

    sorry Rat, doesn’t take a math genius to see the truth in his calculation

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    juicebruce  7 months ago

    Rat there is still time to change your ways ! …. Maybe ;-)

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    Cornelius Noodleman  7 months ago

    How ’bout them purple coffee cups?

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    blunebottle  7 months ago

    Nailed it!

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    Bilan  7 months ago

    Not only that, but there’s also a 99% chance that Rat’s grave will be a dance floor.

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    rshive  7 months ago

    Especially the doorstop part.

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member 7 months ago

    Since there Hell is imaginary, Rat’s chance of being a doorstop is much higher than going to Hell.

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    iggyman  7 months ago

    Worm food, Rat!

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    cdward  7 months ago

    No, the math checks out.

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    monya_43  7 months ago

    Somehow, somewhere James must have heard about Rat. Of course, Rat’s sarcastic remark gave him a good clue about what kind of a rat he is. Extra points to James for the subtle “You go to hell” remark as a comeback.

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    Justanolddude Premium Member 7 months ago

    And to all my math teachers that said I’d wind up as a construction worker and an alcoholic, man, those were just lucky guesses.

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    Ellis97  7 months ago

    Rat is going there for all of his bad deeds.

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  7 months ago

    It’s not about the practical usage of math, it’s about the practical usage through life of the brain, which needs exercise. Same as jumping jacks or other body exercise.

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    verticallychallenged Premium Member 7 months ago

    Am I the only on disappointed that panel 1 wasn’t a set-up for a Pastis Pun?

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    aerotica69  7 months ago

    One woman’s heaven is another man’s hell.

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    chris_o42  7 months ago

    Very interesting story About a man who sees and thinks in Math because of a head injury. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Padgett

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    WCraft Premium Member 7 months ago

    And Mr. Pastis just reduced his chances, by 1%, of not ending up in “Pun Hell” by not posting one today.

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    GlenGoodwin  7 months ago

    Math gets better, consider fractals and multi visions.or a better server

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    Sir Isaac  7 months ago

    I’ve enjoyed the thread of your comments. It’s like a philosophy wiki.

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    nednewbie  7 months ago

    Actually, it’s easy math. If more than 51% of your actions are good, then you go up. If not, you go the other way. Of course, how “good” is your “good”, well, math can’t answer that :-D

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    MeGoNow Premium Member 7 months ago

    You’re right. The doorstop part was bogus.

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    jessie d. Premium Member 7 months ago

    We await you Rat. Ouch. Ouch. pass some of that burn ointment.

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    raybarb44  7 months ago

    Or was that a bullseye…..

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    AZPhinFan  7 months ago

    Yep, he winged it. And not very well………

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    SheMc  7 months ago

    What does he know, you are 100% destined for heaven!

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    tripwire45  7 months ago

    My Dad wanted me to be good at math, but I’m practically math-phobic. Good thing I became a writer.

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    Goat from PBS  7 months ago

    Man, James just met Rat and he already knows Rat’s evil personality. Nice.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  7 months ago

    That was just for Rat.

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    willie_mctell  7 months ago

    The big question in math philosophy is, is it about discovery or invention?

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    Trina Talma Premium Member 7 months ago

    I feel like he would have written that same probability statement for 99.5% of the human race.

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    Moonkey Premium Member 7 months ago

    Learn your English (or whatever language is yours) and your math, and you will do fine.

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    Buckeye67  7 months ago

    I wished they had easy problems like rat’s when I was taking college math.

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    stamps  7 months ago

    Dead as a doorstop?

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    kauri44  7 months ago

    Are we sure James isn’t just Neighbor Bob wearing glasses and using a false name?

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    zeexenon  7 months ago

    Figures don’t lie, but liars can figure.

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    johnschutt  7 months ago

    Jesus:“There was a rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate was laid a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man’s table. Moreover, even the dogs came and licked his sores. The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried, and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’ But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.’ And he said, ‘Then I beg you, father, to send him to my father’s house— for I have five brothers—so that he may warn them, lest they also come into this place of torment.’ But Abraham said, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them hear them.’ And he said, ‘No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ He said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.’”

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    Twelve Badgers in a Suit Premium Member 7 months ago

    Even if that was actually math, it wasn’t actually helpful.

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    SimonMaguire  7 months ago

    I’m sure that there are people who do not get the joke so just google mouseman door stop

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    knight1192a  7 months ago

    Of course he winged that. With Rat it’s 100% hell and 100% undieing.

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    Lana M.  7 months ago

    Wait! What! A ‘Pearls Before Swine’ that’s actually funny? No way!

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    PoodleGroomer  7 months ago

    Even with no facts to calculate, he should have gotten 6 digits of accuracy instead of rounding off. Measure with lasers. Mark with chalk. Cut with an ax.

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    schaefer jim  7 months ago

    Naw, that the living truth, want to see the math. Funny toon!

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    Sailor46 USN 65-95  7 months ago

    Is there a math formula that exist for that?

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    Sisyphos  7 months ago

    You got beat at your own racket, Rat. Tough….

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    sdmitchell02  7 months ago

    Hell is real. Doors don’t exist.

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    D.Deene  7 months ago

    no; absolutely not.

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