Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 28, 2022

Does the teacher have a better definition?

My definition of heaven is being home alone. It rarely happens, but it’s so nice when it does.

Blch. “You don’t have to cover me with spit: I know when I’m licked!”

I am a pastor and I have that saying pig quotes on a pillow in my office…well done Pig!

I had to look up the old Pepsi commercial with all the puppies after reading this.

Everyone is comfy, has food to eat, and a warm place to $**t.

A place where you can eat all you want of your favorite foods and never gain weight.

♪ Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens ♪- Talking Heads

A land of no violence, no terrible sitcoms, and free pizza.

“Sunsets are so beautiful that they almost seem as if we were looking through the gates of Heaven.” John Lubbock

“You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.” Robert Louis Stevenson

“If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there.” Martin Luther

“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” Mark Twain

Heaven is a place where no one talks about religion.

I’m sorry. I think the fact that he’s a pig may give this cartoon a much darker meaning.

Heaven is a place where you don’t have to encounter republicans!

Also he has with only one sentence described heaven AND hell (for dog haters), that should earn him some bonus points.

Pig, they think of you as a chew toy. I’m a little surprised they haven’t used you in a tug-o-war!

Them dogs must love the taste of bacon eh.

Heaven would be if we didn’t need to imagine it because we lived accordingly.

Heaven is not a place where you get constant treats. It’s a place without haters and rude people.

Right on Steph

Love it! The Rainbow Bridge!

That’s because you smell like bacon and pork chops.

I have to agree with Pig. There is a rainbow bridge.

Pig just might be on to something.

Dog is God spelled backwards, after all…

When someone suggested to me that dogs don’t go to heaven, I wondered why anyone would want to be there. I’d love to be with all my dogs and cats again. The heavenly part would include no litter box cleaning or poop scooping.

Pig has the theologian licked!

Heaven is filled with blue skies, clouds, golden gates and sweet sounding angelic babes.

That’s my definition of hell… :D

Heaven has all of your cats, and even the ones who were a bit prickly want to cuddle.

Thus proving Dog is God.

Give mules their due; “He spoke of the joys of mule-heaven to which the dear brother had departed this valley of sorrow; the mule-angels flying around; the miles of green corn and cool water, a pasture of pure bran with a river of molasses running through it; and most glorious of all, No Matt Bonner with plow lines and halters” —Hurston

It can’t be much of a heaven if our pets don’t go there.

A+

Yes!!

Can’t speak for anyone else but Heaven , for me, is right here in my own yard with my man, my cats, my dogs, my horses, my friends and my Life. To ask or expect anything more would be greedy and excessive. Also … no room :D

I like it

My favorite idea of heaven is in the allegory of the Long Spoons, it doesn’t say anything about animal friends, but I can’t see them NOT being there.

allegory for those who don’t know it:One day a man said to God, “God, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.”

God showed the man two doors. Inside the first one, in the middle of the room, was a large round table with a large pot of vegetable stew. It smelled delicious and made the man’s mouth water, but the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. God said, “You have seen Hell.”

Behind the second door, the room appeared exactly the same. There was the large round table with the large pot of wonderful vegetable stew that made the man’s mouth water. The people had the same long-handled spoons, but they were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The man said, “I don’t understand.”

God smiled. It is simple, he said, Love only requires one skill. These people learned early on to share and feed one another. While the greedy only think of themselves…

text source: https://sofoarchon.com/heaven-and-hell-the-parable-of-the-long-spoons/

Well, all dogs go to Heaven, right?

Pig loves kisses and licks….pass him….

Pig is smarter than we all know. A+ for sure.

Back to Pig’s answer, I agree. Remember asking our minister when I was a child if dogs went to heaven. His response was no, so I told him I had no interest in being there either. This happened shortly before he told my mom not to bring me back to church because I asked too many questions. Call me an agnostic in my senior years.

“The she told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished I was there. She got mad then, but I didn’t mean no harm. All I wanted was to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn’t particular. She said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn’t say it for the whole world; she was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well, I couldn’t see no advantage in got where she was going, so I made up my mind I wouldn’t try for it.” – From Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain.

I’m not a fan at all of face licking by animals that sniff, lick and even eat dog poop, often their own but not always. No.Way.

Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens. D. Byrne

Not a complete answer, that’s for sure, but I do hope that my dogs are part of it also….

Referencing “All Dogs Go to Heaven”, I presume? (One of my favorite childhood movies.)

Thank you, Mr Pastis for a beautiful strip in this frightening time.

I appreciate Pig’s sentiment…but my mind always balks at the concept of “owning” our furry friends. I feel I’ve been privileged to have gotten to share my life with them. Caretaker, parent, companion, friend, yes…owner, no.

Piggy nailed it.

Or politics.

Heaven is a place where animals are not enslaved for entertainment, companionship, drug testing, cosmetics testing, labor, or food.

Yes.

Absolutely, but they actually fly out to see him.

I saw a lovely meme of a group of dogs looking very happy, and it’s titled, “The First Faces You See in Heaven.” Yep, that works for me but with some cats and a horse thrown in.

I think no matter how you answered that question you would have to pass

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.” —Will Rogers, American humorist

I don’t believe in heaven, or an afterlife. This gives me an advantage. I treat all animals as well as I can, domesticated or not, in the here and now, because I do believe this is the only shot I have at it. Plus it gives me great pleasure and satisfaction to know I do the best I can for them. I’ve given many animals, large and small, a good and safe life.

Do you have a choice, professor???

Amen, Pig!

A Favorite memory: a number of breeders brought a total 149 collie puppies having their eyes checked by area veterinarians before selling them. I was allowed to bring my chosen little boy home after the check, so I was allowed to attend. Pups were everywhere. I sat on the ground and pups swarmed with jumps, and leaps, and licks, and sniffs… and I laughed uncontrollably. <3

Heaven is where God & loyal angels live. Satan & his wicked angels have been evicted

Did pig show his work?

You gotta show your work.

Gina & I will have about a dozen cats running across the Rainbow Bridge after us.

I’m well aware that quoting this particular individual may not go over well among some commenters, but I love (and agree with) the words regardless:

“God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in Heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he’ll be there.” – Billy Graham

The dogs thought they were licking bacon.

In Heaven,the Home Team should always win at sports.

But how can EVERYBODY’S Home team win?

Rainbow Bridge is busy.

That because they all have their special place, i’s called hell.

Puppies and little kids are the most adorable combination!

Yes. Yes, you do.

Burt Reynolds-Dom Deluise joke?

When I clicked on the heart symbol, the number hit 666. Coincidence?

I like what Pig wrote. I had a rough day at work, and this was what I needed.

Yeah, but the other place has cats.

Of course, his idea of a life accomplishment is: I ate cheese.

what about the cats?! will no one think of the cats???!!!!

I have to agree Stephan ♥♥

Whether an answer is correct in a theology test tends to depend on who’s giving the test. That is, “your opinion may vary.”

Absolutely! If all the dogs (and cats) I’ve ever had aren’t there, it’s not Heaven!

I agree with Pig 100%.

He gets a gentlemen’s C.

Instead of “owned” it should say loved. I’ve loved many dogs that weren’t my pet.

“Heaven is where every dog you’ve ever loved, run up & greet you.”

Heaven is a place where only dead people go.

This has to be some of your best work. Thank you for this day’s strip.

Hevaen is place where all da zeebas are deedd and me can eet and geet fatt