Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 28, 2022

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    BE THIS GUY  over 1 year ago

    Does the teacher have a better definition?

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    Olddog04  over 1 year ago

    My definition of heaven is being home alone. It rarely happens, but it’s so nice when it does.

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    Concretionist  over 1 year ago

    Blch. “You don’t have to cover me with spit: I know when I’m licked!”

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    ronaldspence  over 1 year ago

    I am a pastor and I have that saying pig quotes on a pillow in my office…well done Pig!

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    ryryo1106  over 1 year ago

    I had to look up the old Pepsi commercial with all the puppies after reading this.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Everyone is comfy, has food to eat, and a warm place to $**t.

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    hariseldon59  over 1 year ago

    A place where you can eat all you want of your favorite foods and never gain weight.

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    Wilde Bill  over 1 year ago

    ♪ Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens ♪- Talking Heads

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    BasilBruce  over 1 year ago

    A land of no violence, no terrible sitcoms, and free pizza.

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    Yakety Sax  over 1 year ago

    “Sunsets are so beautiful that they almost seem as if we were looking through the gates of Heaven.” John Lubbock

    “You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.” Robert Louis Stevenson

    “If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there.” Martin Luther

    “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”

    “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” Mark Twain

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Heaven is a place where no one talks about religion.

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    ncrist  over 1 year ago

    I’m sorry. I think the fact that he’s a pig may give this cartoon a much darker meaning.

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    Sanspareil  over 1 year ago

    Heaven is a place where you don’t have to encounter republicans!

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    AndreasMartin  over 1 year ago

    Also he has with only one sentence described heaven AND hell (for dog haters), that should earn him some bonus points.

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    whahoppened  over 1 year ago

    Pig, they think of you as a chew toy. I’m a little surprised they haven’t used you in a tug-o-war!

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    Gent  over 1 year ago

    Them dogs must love the taste of bacon eh.

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    Imagine  over 1 year ago

    Heaven would be if we didn’t need to imagine it because we lived accordingly.

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    Bilan  over 1 year ago

    Heaven is not a place where you get constant treats. It’s a place without haters and rude people.

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    jimchronister2016  over 1 year ago

    Right on Steph

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    iggyman  over 1 year ago

    Love it! The Rainbow Bridge!

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    Count Olaf Premium Member over 1 year ago

    That’s because you smell like bacon and pork chops.

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    Fklimko  over 1 year ago

    I have to agree with Pig. There is a rainbow bridge.

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    blunebottle  over 1 year ago

    Pig just might be on to something.

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    johndifool  over 1 year ago

    Dog is God spelled backwards, after all…

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    bittenbyknittin  over 1 year ago

    When someone suggested to me that dogs don’t go to heaven, I wondered why anyone would want to be there. I’d love to be with all my dogs and cats again. The heavenly part would include no litter box cleaning or poop scooping.

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    Troglodyte  over 1 year ago

    Pig has the theologian licked!

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    Ellis97  over 1 year ago

    Heaven is filled with blue skies, clouds, golden gates and sweet sounding angelic babes.

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    James Wolfenstein  over 1 year ago

    That’s my definition of hell… :D

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    Ignatz Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Heaven has all of your cats, and even the ones who were a bit prickly want to cuddle.

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    wrd2255  over 1 year ago

    Thus proving Dog is God.

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    Ichabod Ferguson  over 1 year ago

    Give mules their due; “He spoke of the joys of mule-heaven to which the dear brother had departed this valley of sorrow; the mule-angels flying around; the miles of green corn and cool water, a pasture of pure bran with a river of molasses running through it; and most glorious of all, No Matt Bonner with plow lines and halters” —Hurston

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    Twelve Badgers in a Suit Premium Member over 1 year ago

    It can’t be much of a heaven if our pets don’t go there.

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    HOTLOTUS1  over 1 year ago


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    chris_o42  over 1 year ago


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    pheets  over 1 year ago

    Can’t speak for anyone else but Heaven , for me, is right here in my own yard with my man, my cats, my dogs, my horses, my friends and my Life. To ask or expect anything more would be greedy and excessive. Also … no room :D

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    diskus Premium Member over 1 year ago

    I like it

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    franki_g  over 1 year ago

    My favorite idea of heaven is in the allegory of the Long Spoons, it doesn’t say anything about animal friends, but I can’t see them NOT being there.

    allegory for those who don’t know it:One day a man said to God, “God, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.”

    God showed the man two doors. Inside the first one, in the middle of the room, was a large round table with a large pot of vegetable stew. It smelled delicious and made the man’s mouth water, but the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

    The man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. God said, “You have seen Hell.”

    Behind the second door, the room appeared exactly the same. There was the large round table with the large pot of wonderful vegetable stew that made the man’s mouth water. The people had the same long-handled spoons, but they were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

    The man said, “I don’t understand.”

    God smiled. It is simple, he said, Love only requires one skill. These people learned early on to share and feed one another. While the greedy only think of themselves…

    text source:

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Well, all dogs go to Heaven, right?

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    Zebrastripes  over 1 year ago

    Pig loves kisses and licks….pass him….

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    Goat from PBS  over 1 year ago

    Pig is smarter than we all know. A+ for sure.

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    ksmock07  over 1 year ago

    Back to Pig’s answer, I agree. Remember asking our minister when I was a child if dogs went to heaven. His response was no, so I told him I had no interest in being there either. This happened shortly before he told my mom not to bring me back to church because I asked too many questions. Call me an agnostic in my senior years.

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    Bookworm  over 1 year ago

    “The she told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished I was there. She got mad then, but I didn’t mean no harm. All I wanted was to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn’t particular. She said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn’t say it for the whole world; she was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well, I couldn’t see no advantage in got where she was going, so I made up my mind I wouldn’t try for it.” – From Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain.

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  over 1 year ago

    I’m not a fan at all of face licking by animals that sniff, lick and even eat dog poop, often their own but not always. No.Way.

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    Snolep  over 1 year ago

    Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens. D. Byrne

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    raybarb44  over 1 year ago

    Not a complete answer, that’s for sure, but I do hope that my dogs are part of it also….

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    CaveCat87  over 1 year ago

    Referencing “All Dogs Go to Heaven”, I presume? (One of my favorite childhood movies.)

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    Joan Tinnin Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Thank you, Mr Pastis for a beautiful strip in this frightening time.

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    NaturLvr  over 1 year ago

    I appreciate Pig’s sentiment…but my mind always balks at the concept of “owning” our furry friends. I feel I’ve been privileged to have gotten to share my life with them. Caretaker, parent, companion, friend, yes…owner, no.

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    cactusbob333  over 1 year ago

    Piggy nailed it.

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    Phil0sophic  over 1 year ago

    Or politics.

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    one6puppy  over 1 year ago

    Heaven is a place where animals are not enslaved for entertainment, companionship, drug testing, cosmetics testing, labor, or food.

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    patrickab7  over 1 year ago


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    zeexenon  over 1 year ago

    Absolutely, but they actually fly out to see him.

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    marilynnbyerly  over 1 year ago

    I saw a lovely meme of a group of dogs looking very happy, and it’s titled, “The First Faces You See in Heaven.” Yep, that works for me but with some cats and a horse thrown in.

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    hoffquotes2  over 1 year ago

    I think no matter how you answered that question you would have to pass

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member over 1 year ago

    “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.” —Will Rogers, American humorist

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    Packratjohn Premium Member over 1 year ago

    I don’t believe in heaven, or an afterlife. This gives me an advantage. I treat all animals as well as I can, domesticated or not, in the here and now, because I do believe this is the only shot I have at it. Plus it gives me great pleasure and satisfaction to know I do the best I can for them. I’ve given many animals, large and small, a good and safe life.

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    dlaemmerhirt999  over 1 year ago

    Do you have a choice, professor???

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    Rocky Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Amen, Pig!

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    Pgalden1 Premium Member over 1 year ago

    A Favorite memory: a number of breeders brought a total 149 collie puppies having their eyes checked by area veterinarians before selling them. I was allowed to bring my chosen little boy home after the check, so I was allowed to attend. Pups were everywhere. I sat on the ground and pups swarmed with jumps, and leaps, and licks, and sniffs… and I laughed uncontrollably. <3

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    dialfred  over 1 year ago

    Heaven is where God & loyal angels live. Satan & his wicked angels have been evicted

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    braindead Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Did pig show his work?

    You gotta show your work.

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    Scott S  over 1 year ago

    Gina & I will have about a dozen cats running across the Rainbow Bridge after us.

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    skipper1992  over 1 year ago

    I’m well aware that quoting this particular individual may not go over well among some commenters, but I love (and agree with) the words regardless:

    “God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in Heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he’ll be there.” – Billy Graham

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    Tweet&Bleat  over 1 year ago

    The dogs thought they were licking bacon.

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    In Heaven,the Home Team should always win at sports.

    But how can EVERYBODY’S Home team win?

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    Plods with ...™  over 1 year ago

    Rainbow Bridge is busy.

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    schaefer jim  over 1 year ago

    That because they all have their special place, i’s called hell.

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    jbruins84341  over 1 year ago

    Puppies and little kids are the most adorable combination!

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    asrialfeeple  over 1 year ago

    Yes. Yes, you do.

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    knight1192a  over 1 year ago

    Burt Reynolds-Dom Deluise joke?

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    ChrisTrey  over 1 year ago

    When I clicked on the heart symbol, the number hit 666. Coincidence?

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  over 1 year ago

    I like what Pig wrote. I had a rough day at work, and this was what I needed.

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    Gussy Fink-Nottle  over 1 year ago

    Yeah, but the other place has cats.

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    DaBump Premium Member over 1 year ago

    Of course, his idea of a life accomplishment is: I ate cheese.

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    bunrabbit99  over 1 year ago

    what about the cats?! will no one think of the cats???!!!!

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    pamela welch Premium Member over 1 year ago

    I have to agree Stephan ♥♥

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    Sisyphos  over 1 year ago

    Whether an answer is correct in a theology test tends to depend on who’s giving the test. That is, “your opinion may vary.”

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    MVMartinek  over 1 year ago

    Absolutely! If all the dogs (and cats) I’ve ever had aren’t there, it’s not Heaven!

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    Laurie Stoker Premium Member over 1 year ago

    I agree with Pig 100%.

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    TampaFanatic1  over 1 year ago

    He gets a gentlemen’s C.

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    Squirrel Chaser  over 1 year ago

    Instead of “owned” it should say loved. I’ve loved many dogs that weren’t my pet.

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    Squirrel Chaser  over 1 year ago

    “Heaven is where every dog you’ve ever loved, run up & greet you.”

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    Swirls Before Pine  over 1 year ago

    Heaven is a place where only dead people go.

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    dogget  over 1 year ago

    This has to be some of your best work. Thank you for this day’s strip.

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    Bob da croc  8 months ago

    Hevaen is place where all da zeebas are deedd and me can eet and geet fatt

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