Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 09, 2022

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    BE THIS GUY  8 months ago

    Rat, maybe you should claim the table first, then get your coffee.

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    BasilBruce  8 months ago

    Moral: Avoid cafes. They’re bad places.

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    Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member 8 months ago

    Ronkonkoma Railway Station Bar, Long Island N.Y .. I still remember the bad impression I made trying to skip the coffee line. I was too tired and hadn’t seen it.

    The comments: “Italians”.

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    Concretionist  8 months ago

    Yes, Rat, maybe you SHOULD never leave home…

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    ronaldspence  8 months ago

    maybe too much coffee?

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    Cornelius Noodleman  8 months ago

    It’s fun to jump up into the air.

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    maureenmck Premium Member 8 months ago

    “Jump in the line, rock your body in time.” — Harry Belafonte

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    iggyman  8 months ago

    May I suggest decaffeinated Rat?

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    Robin Harwood  8 months ago

    You are right, Rat. People are a pest. Stay home and avoid them.

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    Kveldulf  8 months ago

    Relax Rat, you don’t have to hate everybody. Just avoid crowds.

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    Qiset  8 months ago

    The coffee is a lot less expensive at home too.

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    blunebottle  8 months ago

    We will agree with you on that idea, Rat.

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    Gent  8 months ago

    Eh me not needs no tables to drinks coffee. Or tea even.

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    cdward  8 months ago

    I haven’t frequented too many coffee shops in the past two years, but when I did, I must have always come in at the right time or been in the right neighborhoods because I don’t recall this particular problem.

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    P-B  8 months ago

    If Rat really hated people, he’d get his coffee to go. We misanthropes don’t like hanging out in cafés.

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    Caldonia  8 months ago

    It’s awkward either way cause you just stand there waiting in limbo while you wait for coffee before you sit with coffee. I’m glad I don’t get the urge for Starbucks much anymore.

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    Ellis97  8 months ago

    Maybe you should make reservations.

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    gopher gofer  8 months ago

    i avoid rat’s problem by leaving home secure in the knowledge that i’m going to be spending time among people who will in one way or another piss me off because they’re absolute forking morons, thus relieving myself of the anxiety of anticipating the stress that they’re going to cause me.

    and, yes, to answer the question, i have exactly the same way of viewing the world as rat and make no apologies for it…

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    jonesbeltone  8 months ago

    I am 2with Rat. Table jumpers are jerks.

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    Zebrastripes  8 months ago

    Or make your own coffee at home! Yeah! That’s the ticket!

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    wongo  8 months ago

    The reason you left home, rat is because you have 276 brothers and sisters! Remember?

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    Goat from PBS  8 months ago

    They’re both right. Rat’s too tightly wound, and that’s why he should never leave home.

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    Need coffee  8 months ago

    Rat is drinking too much coffee.

    I can’t believe that’s even possible.

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    CaveCat87  8 months ago

    You’re too dependent on coffee, Rat, just like Garfield. Maybe that’s why you’re so wound up.

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    aerotica69  8 months ago

    And that’s one thing I have enjoyed about all this isolationism – I can always find a seat at my own kitchen table!

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  8 months ago

    Or cut back on the coffee.

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    Plods with ...™ Premium Member 8 months ago

    I find that works best, rat.

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    StephenJokela1  8 months ago

    Apparently this cafe doesn’t offer table service…perhaps time to find a new establishment?

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    zeexenon  8 months ago

    You want tables, study up on your Excel.

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    ozmodiar  8 months ago

    Doesn’t Rat sometimes work at a café or coffeehouse?

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    txmystic  8 months ago

    This has happened to me a lot. I just go to a less-busy coffee shop. There’s tons.

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    NWdryad  8 months ago

    Sorry Rat, I’m one of those people.

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    Happy, happy, happy!!! Premium Member 8 months ago

    About 2 hours ago Mudd said,

    “Margarita Beach Hotel in Pensacola.” just so noone misses the chance to make your own decision. I will NEVER go to Flori dah,again. Con artists will sell you swamp,still. Peace.

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    wilhemenacooker  8 months ago

    i avoid this problem entirely – i avoid cafes and won’t pay for overpriced, poor coffee products

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    tripwire45  8 months ago

    There are better reasons for being misanthropic.

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    MoeyTehr  8 months ago

    No, no, I’m with Rat with this one!

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    Bilan  8 months ago

    That person isn’t jumping the line for the table. They’re donating their nice laptop to you.

    Yeah, right.

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    knight1192a  8 months ago

    Ooo, so bad. Sorry Rat, but in this case shove your words up your backside. It’s when they come in after you when you’re already in line and jump in line ahead of you that you should be concerned about.

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    christelisbetty  8 months ago

    Best solution: Make your own coffee at home. You shouldn’t be facing a bunch of humans, (or rats) that haven’t had their coffee yet, before you’ve had your coffee.

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    John Jorgensen  8 months ago

    Rat, don’t be mad just because you didn’t think of it first. If you’ve seen it happen enough times to complain about it, then it’s clearly something that cafes don’t have a problem with, so start taking advantage yourself.

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    smartman  8 months ago

    Buy a French Press machine and a good coffee grinder then find the right roast level for your taste. You’ll never have to go waste $7 in a coffee shop again.

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    Sisyphos  8 months ago

    For everyone’s sake, Rat, don’t take your guns to town, son, leave your guns at home, Rat, don’t take your guns to town!

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    bunrabbit99  8 months ago

    rat’s had too much coffee.

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    DaBump Premium Member 8 months ago

    Mebbe just switch to decaf?

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    JustMe  8 months ago

    Rat is my spirit animal

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    Laurie Stoker Premium Member 8 months ago

    It really is better to stay home …

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    I hate people who don’t know what they want to order and take 10 minutes deciding while the long line behind them fumes.

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