Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 27, 2022

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    BE THIS GUY  5 months ago

    What Rat enjoys the most is stealing wallets of sleeping people.

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    Ratkin  5 months ago

    I know people whose job is sleeping with people and then stealing their wallet.

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    BasilBruce  5 months ago

    Fran did that to Niles on an episode of “The Nanny.”

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    ronaldspence  5 months ago

    Rat, how many days do you just live life instead of talking about it?

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    Lightpainter Premium Member 5 months ago

    Ripley’s Believe It Or Not once said the easiest job in history was a guy who only had to lean out a window every hour all night and blow a horn. But I question that being easy- it means he never got a good night’s sleep, and would be exhausted all the time due to a lack of REM sleep.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member 5 months ago

    I once encountered a similar guide but never got past Step #1: Be a genius.

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    Johnny Q Premium Member 5 months ago

    You could be a mattress tester like Li’l Abner…

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    einarbt  5 months ago

    Goat must wonder about Rat.

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    feverjr  5 months ago

    The system first used by the “My Pillow Guy”….

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    _lounger_  5 months ago

    and if you end up in jail you’ll have plenty of time for sleeping…

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    Doug K  5 months ago

    Step 3: Get arrested: Have your room and board taken care of for you (in prison).

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    Cornelius Noodleman  5 months ago

    My wallet doesn’t have anything in it but dust.

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    Jesy Bertz Premium Member 5 months ago

    Now we have your “sleep number”, Rat.

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    Ermine Notyours  5 months ago

    I was so sleepy after trying to get off a graveyard schedule so I could take a long car trip that I was falling asleep while driving. So I had to sleep in my car at a rest area, using it to actually rest. After snoring myself awake a few times, I actually slept for an hour, which is the time limit at Washington State rest areas now. And ground my teeth. It was hot so I had to sleep with the window rolled down. I wonder if it would have been possible for someone to open the door, pull me out and find my keys before I was awake enough to fight back. I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

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    iggyman  5 months ago

    A common joke about wives doing that to their husbands!

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    Troglodyte  5 months ago

    I thought beer taster would be a dream job for Rat.

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    jel354  5 months ago

    Advice you won’t get from the wise one on the hill.

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    Aladar30 Premium Member 5 months ago

    I can see Rat doing that kimd of job.

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    Ellis97  5 months ago

    Rat really is in touch with his vermin heritage.

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    zerotvus  5 months ago

    my boss asked me one time, if i liked my job. I told him, my mom used to whip my butt for what you pay me for. what’s not to like……

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    uniquename  5 months ago

    Rat will be the next person to learn the meaning of, “Man plans, God laughs.”

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    dap1004  5 months ago

    Maybe he was a day sleeper?

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    raybarb44  5 months ago

    Not quite….

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    Zebrastripes  5 months ago

    Rats delusional. Period!

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    Goat from PBS  5 months ago

    Sleep pick-pocketing…? Never heard of it.

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    zeexenon  4 months ago

    Wait, isn’t that the job of billionaires?

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    skysoxwiz Premium Member 4 months ago

    Being left handed Rat is probably SINISTER (you Latin scholars—both of you).

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    SimonMaguire  4 months ago

    I always thought it was Pig who loved sleeping, – if there is no cheese around anyway.

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    Sisyphos  4 months ago

    All hail, Sensei Rat, Life Master!

    What is the secret of life, Master? Work it out for yourself, Grasshopper!

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    AndreasMartin  4 months ago

    Hm…matress tester?

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    CrouchingBruin Premium Member 22 days ago

    Step 3: Make sure you’re better than 90% of the people in that profession.

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