Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 20, 2022

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    BE THIS GUY  9 months ago

    Apply for disability.

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    Bilan  9 months ago

    Or they can apply game theory and agree to split the work and rewards. That creates a win-win situation.

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    BasilBruce  9 months ago

    It would have been funnier if Pig had thought that capitalism had something to do with uppercase letters.

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    Erse IS better  9 months ago

    No. According the the scripture of the Rong Whingers, that’s what unions are for.

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    GeorgeInAZ  9 months ago

    To be funny, the premise must have some connection to possibility. Why did the chicken cross the road has the potential for humor while why did the elephant fly across the road does not. Working harder is not the essence of capitalism.

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    B UTTONS  9 months ago

    Get a job as a mattress tester.

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    iggyman  9 months ago

    I know quite a few people (unfortunately) who get paid for not working!

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member 9 months ago

    In reality many people work harder but do not get ahead. The system is gamed to syphon money to the already rich people. Thanks mostly to the con-serves.

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    Frog-on-a-Log Premium Member 9 months ago

    Only if you’re participating in a scientific sleep study, Pig.

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    Simon Seamount  9 months ago

    Capitalism is about the risk of investing current capital in farms and factories to produce goods that will be needed next season with hopes of earning a profit.

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    mrwiskers  9 months ago

    “…democratic socialism, in which extensive state regulation, with limited state ownership, has been employed by democratically elected governments (as in Sweden and Denmark) in the belief that it produces a fair distribution of income without impairing economic growth.”

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    dnie  9 months ago

    Uncle Joe wants you dependent on the BigGovt. ‘plantation’

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    bittenbyknittin  9 months ago

    It’s hard to nap with the open office floor plan.

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    Goat from PBS  9 months ago

    Sadly, I do not think we can get paid for sleeping, unless you get to be a mattress tester at a furniture store.

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    Geophyzz  9 months ago

    Having spent a few months behind the iron curtain, I can assure you, that’s how communism works.

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    [Traveler]  9 months ago

    I see that happening every day

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    Olddog04  9 months ago

    It’s been my experience that the harder you work, the more you are expected to do. If you work with a lazy person, and there are plenty of them, then your boss will expect you to do your job and the job of the lazy person as well. THAT’S capitalism.

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    HOTLOTUS1  9 months ago

    the unemployed

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    F-Flash  9 months ago

    Only if you voted demo ………………………..

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    colddonkey  9 months ago

    Wow didn’t know Pig just had his student loan taken care of.

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    Egrayjames  9 months ago

    To answer your question, “Does someone still hand us money?” Yes…and you’re allowed to demand more money because others who work hard have more than you and that isn’t fair./s

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    William Robbins Premium Member 9 months ago

    Well, this brought out the expected loonies…

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    Ellis97  9 months ago

    Capitalism sucks. Just look at Disney or Discovery.

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    Ignatz Premium Member 9 months ago

    Working hard? Sucking up is actually more effective.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 9 months ago

    You’re paid with money from people who do work so you will vote for the people who pay you not to work while you play the victim card.

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    klapre  9 months ago

    Yes. That’s called Socialism.

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    Ignatz Premium Member 9 months ago

    Capitalists don’t actually believe in capitalism – they believe in money. Capitalism works on the principle of competition, but capitalists are driven by the need to eliminate competition. And if left entirely to their own devices, one will succeed at that. There will be conglomeration and monopoly, companies getting larger and larger, until the consumer – the demand side of supply and demand – has no real choice in the “free market.” And then you don’t have capitalism, you have corporatism.

    Capitalism requires regulation to make it work.

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    Zebrastripes  9 months ago


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    Convicted Pedant  9 months ago

    Uncle Corporate will pay you to vote-their way.

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    artegal  9 months ago

    Pig, that would be socialism.

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    Rory W.  9 months ago

    I call it “napitalism”

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    mindjob  9 months ago

    Nastiest comments ever

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    brick10  9 months ago

    As long as you appear awake on your Zoom meeting.

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    Cozmik Cowboy  9 months ago

    Only if you’re not just in a capitalist system, but are an actual capitalist, Pig.

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    triathlete1066 Premium Member 9 months ago

    Free market capitalism pays for value provided. While hard work may be a component of that, it’s not the thing itself.

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    Cerabooge  9 months ago

    The capitalist puts their money to work and takes a nap. Then complains that people are lazy.

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    SFpagan  9 months ago

    Yes, and if you stay home creating kids you get more money and preferential treatment to multiple free housing locations compared to retired senior citizens who (if lucky) end up in high crime neighborhoods with decent grocery stores miles away from home. If you don’t want kids then do drugs until a program cleans you up and gives you same special treatment/housing as single mommies not working .

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    gregcomn  9 months ago

    I think the real Uncle Joe would send you to the Gulag.

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    michael3114  9 months ago

    You just described the difference between capitalism and Socialism. The problem with Socialism is, when everyone chooses napping over work and still expect to get paid, the system breaks down from lack of tax revenue. Venezuela is a perfect microcosm of the failure of Socialism.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 9 months ago

    Majority of commenters today have the brain of Herschel Walker

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    pearlyqim  9 months ago

    Sure! Brandon will!

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    vursu  9 months ago

    I wonder if US is a pronoun or a country abbreviation …

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    diverleo  9 months ago

    Of course. They’ll just print some for you.

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    Pro-Trumpers made the Crocs seem like Harvard graduates

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    zeexenon  9 months ago

    Kind of like Steve J. and The Woz. Poor Woz.

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    John Jorgensen  9 months ago

    Actually in a capitalist system the means of production are owned by those who finance them rather than by those who work with them. So if you work hard the other guy gets ahead. He throws you a few scraps to create the illusion that you’re improving your own lot in life, but you get the leftovers at best.

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    gbars70  9 months ago

    Ok, not to change the subject; but Goat in 3 panels; right ear up, left ear down; last panel; left ear up, right ear down. Pig is consistent.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member 9 months ago

    You take your kid to school at age 5, spend 20 minutes filling out forms, and get 13 years of education. Socialism.

    Your house catches fire, and the fire department comes and puts it out. Socialism.

    Someone breaks into your home, and the cops are only a phone call away. Socialism.

    They put the perps on trial, and you MIGHT have to testify, but that’s it. Socialism.

    The last hostile foreign boot left American soil in 1814. Socialism.

    Use your public library’s materials and services. Socialism.

    Turn on your tap and get fresh, clean water. Socialism.

    Breathe pollution-free air. Socialism.

    You’ve got a good idea what the weather will be like next weekend. Socialism.

    Planes don’t crash into each other in mid-air. Socialism.

    Every day* an agent of the federal government swings by your place on the off chance you want to send a birthday card to Grandma, and 2 days later and 2000 miles away, she’s reading it for ⅒ the price of the card itself. Socialism.

    You can drive anywhere in America on public roadways.† Socialism.

    You get seriously ill or injured, and good luck! Capitalism.


    *slight exaggeration; it’s really only 6 days out of 7.

    †exception: toll roads. Go ahead, tell us how much you love THOSE!

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    6odc2pemgb55  9 months ago

    If poor people have it as great as some people like to complain about, living on the dole off other people’s money, why don’t we see more rich people aspiring to be poor?

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    raybarb44  9 months ago

    Today? Sadly, the answer is yes…..

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    Johnny Q Premium Member 9 months ago

    US culture’s most indefatigable myth: equal opportunity.

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    destry1970  9 months ago

    There are company’s that will require you to nap and pay you for it because they feel you will be more productive, and you the customer pay for that.

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    The Waffles are my friends  9 months ago

    Ah, but if we nap, then we get no food. Or housing. Or livelihood. In sum, we get squat.

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    syzygy47  9 months ago

    Well, that’s the theory. In practice, capitalism is man exploiting man, unlike communism, which is the opposite.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  9 months ago

    We need better education on economics.

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    Uncle Joe Premium Member 9 months ago

    Ooh, now I know why my ears have been tingling all day!

    If you get fired from your job without cause, you will get paid for up to 26 weeks because you already paid into the Unemployment Insurance fund. It’s that line on your check that says, “FUTA”. Of course, in many red states you get much less. Only 12 weeks of UI in Florida, where DeSantis seems to think the first 2 letters stand for something else.

    If you quit or get fired for calling the boss a pointy haired imbecile, you’re on your own. If you get sick & can’t work for an extended period, you can try to get on Social Security Disability (assuming you paid into Social Security), but it’s a byzantine process & the benefit isn’t going to support a middle class life.

    Glad I could clear that up.

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    PaintTheDust  9 months ago

    But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,

    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”

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    Sisyphos  9 months ago

    TANSTAAFL, Pig. You have to pull your weight in any economic system….

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    pontiac59  9 months ago

    What do I need to get ahead of anyone for? I just need to get by.

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    larslarson  9 months ago

    I never thought of getting ahead of anybody. Just not live paycheck to paycheck.

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    Huggybearojb  2 months ago

    Hey it’s better than communism

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