Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 15, 2022

Aren’t “when you don’t care quite that much” cards the blank ones in which you jot some platitude?

“I don’t give a Rat’s… um…..”

Judging by the cards I’ve seen lately, Rat’s niche is already overfull.

is that With or Without a Baseball Bat?

“Oh! He’s our shortstop!”

Rat’s brand name: Hellmark

I guess one would give enough of a *# if they bought the card.

Hey a “Holemark” card Pig so you can tell people where to “stick it”

Can rat send me a catalog?

Melania Trump once wore a jacket that read, “I don’t really care. Do you?” She might buy one of Rat’s panel 4 cards.

If you don’t really care (one way or the other), you wouldn’t/shouldn’t bother to send any kind of a card.

Niche market Rat, what politicians might send to their opposing candidates!

I thought hallmark was the definition of “I don’t really care, but I’m doing this for the appearance”?

That last niche will make him a millionaire.

Society has allowed too many rats to exist.

I’m sold.

I made a birthday card for my nephew once, it was the greatest birthday card ever. On the outside it said, “In honour of your birthday, I plan to set myself on fire and run screaming through the streets.”

And on the inside it said, “…because I hate you.”

He’s my favourite nephew, and it was a joke. Nobody else thought it was funny, which in my opinion makes it the greatest birthday card ever. :glee!:

I once saw a humorous card someone made by hand, badly: “Money is tight, times are hard, here’s your fugging Christmas card.”

I had Happy Pay Day cards. You could buy one a week or every two weeks. even had a jingle “Happy Pay Day, Happy Pay Day to You” So then they came up with direct deposit. And ruined me……….

I love the " RAT " : )

Every day, in the other comics, there’s “nice” humour. And then there is Pearls Before Swine. I love it!

Rat has never had the best of luck when it comes to greeting cards. They’re just to put people down.

I think e-cards are how you say I care, but only in a very minimal way, not even enough to spend $1 for two cards at the dollar store.

People still send cards?? :) :)

are they less than $4.99 ?

I’m in!

How about used Cards, it’s recycling, John Kerry would be so proud of you, he would send you a used card to say thanks.

I wonder what other lines he has. Maybe for the jealous person, “I deserved that promotion you $^! %()%# @%%*#(!”

What do you have in the way of “Get well whenever” cards?

remember it’s @ before # except after $

Some years ago, I saw a card that read “Happy Mother’s Day, you mother!”

I’ll take two dozen for X-mas, please.

Isn’t that the whole point of greeting cards, that you don’t care enough to actually write a note?

I couldn’t care less…but do you have a get well soon card for me to send to you?

bought a hallmark card last week; “made in china” !!!

He could sell red waistcoats as gifts… when you care enough to send the berry vest.

Wow! I think you just hit on something with possibilities ….

I remember a card with a hairy monster with the message – When you care enough to send the hairy beast.

Hey Rat, trump called, he wants all you got to send to the gop…. FOR FREE NO LESS

ohohoh,,oh where can I get them?

I’d like to see chocolate fortune cookies called Tuf-Luk with funny but negative messages inside.

During the time I worked at Hallmark 1960-1985 in the Contemporary Design Studio, Don Branham, one our best illustrators/writers had a card called ‘when you send the very beast’!

Greetings,little shut-in

Do not pine or sigh

If you’re not paroled by Christmas

You’ll be out by the Fourth of July—-CURLEY HOWARD

Rat also has those cards with places to enclose money but no money enclosed.

I send all my recipients my finest electronic social media cards.

Years ago, probably for only a brief time, there was a line of greeting cards from a company called “Tactless Greetings.” Their tag line was “When you have to work up to caring.” I loved their cards – thought many were hilarious and bought a number of them. All gone now. I wrote to the company at the address listed for them on their merch and never got a reply.

Then why bother at all……

Anything not worth doing, is worth not doing well.

Should do well. The Scrooge and selfish market is pretty big.

In my dad’s last dime store the paint had faded on the wall above the greeting card racks. You could see the faint outline of the Ambassador Card line slogan, “Your personal envoy of good taste.” He went with American Greeting.

I’ve seen both of Rat’s niches around here. Gotta say, they suck

Rat forgot to mention they are MUCH, MUCH cheaper!

I can relate. I had an idea. Hire an artist (on Fiverr) to create art that will fit on a 5×7 Christmas card: I told the artist Santa is at home, watching porn. He’s in a reclining chair, beer in one hand, remote in the other, watching some naked, hot girl on TV. Santa hat on his head, Santa jacket on, his Santa pants on the floor, he’s in his boxer shorts. He sent me a prelim sketch, I greenlit the final art and it’s amazing. Cost about $70. Then I sent the image to FineArtAmerica and had them print up the cards. Now I’m just waiting for Thanksgiving to be done before I send ‘em out. Next year, maybe I’ll have Santa BBQing Rudolph on a spit. :) I’d upload the art for you here, but no way to do that.

The people Rat is trying to sell greeting cards to don’t usually buy greeting cards in the first place. Not how entrepreneurs usually work.

I wish Rat had marketed his line of cards about 20 years earlier, when I might have used them!

I still like the commercial with a machine kerchunking away; camera zooms in to show it’s a card making machine, with each one reading “Just for you”… Wish I could find it on youtube…