Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 12, 2023

But what did the fishes do to sleep with a pig?

Something fishy in how that turned out

The neighbors have heard him shout, “Oh cod, oh cod!”

Surf n Turf in bed.

A criminal but with humanity and a sense of humor.

Ham and fish. Hmm. I don’t think this will replace ham and eggs.

But it’s better than cement goulashes. No matter how you interpret that, it’s still bad.

Just wait, they snore.

When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming.

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

Sexy fishes. Is this a crude metaphor?

On a scale of 1 to 10, Pig scored 2!

Did spelled backwards is…never mind.

I like the little fishie nightcaps.

Those sleeping caps!

the fishes got ripped off too?

The problem with sleeping with fishes is that they keep getting up in the middle of the night for a bowl of water.

It might get uncomfortable if they are puffer fish!

They’re going to fin-ish you, Pig.

But you’ll never get rid of that smell.

Went to one of those boat casinos in Mississippi, 20+ yrs ago played the slot machine, machine started ringing and blinking like crazy showing me I assume I won a decent about of cash. They told me the machine malfunctioned I argued they showed me the door. I haven’t stepped in one of those cesspools since.

I needed a good laugh today, thanks Stephan!

“Holy Mackerel”!

Yeah, but you don’t know what those fishes expect!

How’s that supposed to work as a deterrent?

Making him wear crocs would have been worse.

“Careful, pal – you might get gilled…”

The mob boss there is pretty much my own dad.

I am surprised I’m not fish food by now, because I mouthed off to him a few times before I was 10 years old. Then I learned.

How did they rip you off? Did the slot machine not give you any jackpots? It’s a game of chance, Pig, not a game of actual.

Wait ’till you hear them snore!

It’s hard to be completely original, so let’s call this a “homage” to Troy McClure in The Simpsons.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Fish_Called_Selma

So Pastis did this one just for the halibut?

LOL!

The fish don’t look too happy about having to “sleep with the pig”

Surf & Turf

Gambling is just legalized robbery. Change my mind.

Thix comic is making me eel.

At least Pig didn’t get rubbed out again.

Benjamin Franklin once wrote that both fish and company begin to smell after three days. Pig, he’s got you coming and going. 8>)

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” is playing the slots and losing. Told to The Count by a friend.

Must be a waterbed.

LOL‼️☺️

Better sleepin with the fishes than being fitted for cement shoes‼️

If that is a Vegas casino, the mobs body disposal site is drying up.

I’ve never lost money in a slot machine. I know exactly where it is.

That’s what Pig gets for carping.

You’ll be sleepin’ whit the fishes in the sea, see?

Something’s fishy here, and yes, it’s the casino. Heck, all casinos are shady, greedy, trickster business. The few people who win are to give them the illusion they can win again, so they can return that money to them trying to get that ‘lucky’ streak again.

Not as bad as what the euphemism usually implies, but I really don’t think I’d enjoy that.

Also, how did the slot machine steal his money? The vast majority of money that goes into a slot machine does not come out again, and anyone with a brain knows that. If you were to rig your machine so that it’s even less likely to pay out, the casual customer would probably never notice. You’d have to do something like program the machine to take the money and then refuse to deal a hand. Which would not only be far more easily detected than rigging the probabilities of a winning hand, but would be no more profitable and, really, no harder to do.

Unless of course Pig lost fair and square and is whining about it.

Maybe a crossover with today’s Heathcliff, with a fishbowl on either side and one on his head?

That’s a good one

Apparently, they mean what they say.

The kinder, Gentler …

The fish don’t seem to happy about it.

Not an Indian casino, no fishes in the dessert…

Sleep sounder with flounder..

I’m not sure Pig knows how slot machines work. They’re not like a vending machine, or not much like a vending machine.

The odds always favor the house.They don’t tell you the “house” is a 30-room mansion

I recognise those fish! The Louisiana Perches. Walt Kelly had a small series about them in Pogo many years ago.

that is one heckuva copy Pastis.

Stephan, this is adorable!

Sadly, even Pickles is funnier than Pearls now. Will somebody let me know when the Croc Neighbors return? In the meantime – I’m out.

Bless his heart

At least he’s not wearing concrete galoshes or cement overshoes

Fish: We like the traditional interpretation of this saying.

I don’t really like the idea of gambling. Think about the people going for that $1 billion plus jackpot. Couldn’t all that time and money be used elsewhere?

shouldn’t that be “da fishes” and as poster #762 will anybody read this?

Hate to be the one to break it to you, Pig, but that isn’t exactly what Rocco meant….