Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 17, 2023

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    BE THIS GUY  7 months ago

    Rat may need more $4 million if he wants the “right” plane.

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    BasilBruce  7 months ago

    What about a pilot and some stewardesses?

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    Cactus-Pete  7 months ago

    Yes, the plane should have a comfortable handle and a sharp blade.

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    sirbadger  7 months ago

    Flying lessons would also be good.

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    ronaldspence  7 months ago

    “And that’s the only thing I need is this. I don’t need this or this. Just this ashtray… And this paddle game. – The ashtray and the paddle game and that’s all I need… And this remote control. – The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that’s all I need… And these matches. – The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball… And this lamp. – The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that’s all I need. And that’s all I need too. I don’t need one other thing, not one… I need this. – The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I’m some kind of a jerk or something! – And this. That’s all I need.” Navin Johnson

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    carlsonbob  7 months ago

    I guess with 4 million he can afford all the beer he wants.

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    David_the_CAD  7 months ago

    Yea but once you get it, then you will want something else.

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    hitman4cookies  7 months ago

    Does the plane include a flight crew, with pretty flight attendants.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member 7 months ago

    I read that private “business” planes can cost about 70 million, plus another 30 mil to customize the interior. That is without beer.

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    Johnny Q Premium Member 7 months ago

    I could make do with $2 million and a kite…

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    Cornelius Noodleman  7 months ago

    Plane geometry.

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    Sanspareil  7 months ago

    It’s plane to see that Rat is not a simple man!

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    Left, never right!  Premium Member 7 months ago

    What is the “right” plane?

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    Doug K  7 months ago

    Four Million (4,000,000) dollars sounds like quite a bit more than a few.

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    priyansh.jeziel  7 months ago

    At this point in my life, a 1/4 million would carry me through to the end of my days, pay off the house, take a couple of nice trips, to use up my million FF miles, and buy me a nicer car. And I could easily pass up using the FF miles, since there is LOTS of places here in the US, I would like to go back to, by riding AmTrak.Europe is too fked up for my liking (I should have taken the time to see it when I was passing through there in the 1990s and 2000s.

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    Georgette Washington Bunny  7 months ago

    You should add a zero there, $4 mil doesn’t go as far as it used to, Rat.

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    Olddog04  7 months ago

    It has to be a 65 million dollar private jet like the televangelists ride around in. Don’t settle for anything less rat.

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    iggyman  7 months ago

    Bucky channeling D.B. Cooper? (Sort of)!

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    Gent  7 months ago

    Hey kids, which panel is not the same as the other panels?

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    dlkrueger33  7 months ago

    Ted Danson’s plane. (Seinfeld fans will get this).

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    rshive  7 months ago

    Don’t forget a private pilot, Rat!

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 7 months ago

    Simple, indeed. High school science projects are shot down with $200m F-22 Raptors.

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    SALUDADOG  7 months ago

    You don’t want a Spanish plane, that’s where most of the rain falls.

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    sheilag  7 months ago

    That plane will burn through that $4 million pretty easily… ;-)

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    basspro  7 months ago

    Like the “Plane” truth. Something of which the rat has some serious issues with.

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    Masterskrain Premium Member 7 months ago

    Rat sounds like a “Prosperity Preacher”!

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    Goat from PBS  7 months ago

    Some of us are a lot simpler.

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    The Orange Mailman  7 months ago

    Euclid would be proud.

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    mail2jbl  7 months ago

    If Rat wants $4 million and a plane, he should become a televangelist. Get on TV, tell your audience that God will bless them beyond their wildest dreams if they send money to your “ministry”, and sit back and watch as the money rolls in. You’ll get way more than $4 million, and you’ll have enough to buy not only a private jet, but several multimillion dollar estates across the country and a collection of luxury limos! It worked for Robert Tilton back in the day, and it seems to be working for shysters like Kenneth Copeland and Creflo Dollar too. Give it a shot, Rat!

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    bittenbyknittin  7 months ago

    Health, wealth, and the time to enjoy them.

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    brick10  7 months ago

    Waiting for Godot……

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    TMMILLER Premium Member 7 months ago

    I am a simple man, my perfect plane would be the Aviat Eagle.

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    Wichita1.0  7 months ago

    Not the Wright plane. The tissue paper for the repeated repairs to the wings would polish off the million in no time.

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    billdaviswords  7 months ago

    Doesn’t Goat drink TEA?!

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    Dom999  7 months ago

    All I need is a pint a day

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    aerotica69  7 months ago

    $5M and a long-arm quilting machine.

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    Croc Holliday  7 months ago

    My wife and pups. A piano.

    A ‘69 Mustang Mach I wouldn’t hurt. :)

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    Ellis97  7 months ago

    For me to be happy, I just need art supplies, a lovely woman and my own thriving animation studio.

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    MichiganMitten  7 months ago

    Gulfstream V?

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    txmystic  7 months ago

    I want to take my plain plane to a plain…

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    Zebrastripes  7 months ago

    The plane could be in the mountains…good riddance, Rat!

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    Snolep  7 months ago

    Not a space rocket? How very modest of him.

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    twstd  7 months ago

    That plane will eat up your four million dollars right quick

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    PeaceWouldBeNice  7 months ago

    Forget the sunny day. I see no reason to be so picky. Just give me coffee!

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    rhpii  7 months ago

    Just don’t keep a passenger list.

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    Eristic  7 months ago

    Happiness might be beyond my reach, contentment not so much. This much is certain— no amount of possessions or illusions will make me so.

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    cldisme  7 months ago

    I am sure the Ducks would be happy to be your pilots if the plane has a few Sidewinder missiles and something that can disperse depleted Plutonium in a big hurry.

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    John Jorgensen  7 months ago

    No matter how simple are the pleasures that your happiness depends on, they can still be yanked away from you. Better to learn to find happiness in whatever situation life throws your way, regardless of what it does and does not include. (And yes, I realize that’s easier said than done.)

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    KEA  7 months ago

    Gulfstream G700?

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 7 months ago

    Air force one?

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    christelisbetty  7 months ago

    Suggest you avoid the same planes as John Denver,or JFK Jr.

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    Ceeg22 Premium Member 7 months ago

    And they better serve coffee on the plane

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    T...  7 months ago

    Rat! Stop with the political jokes…

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    dlaemmerhirt999  7 months ago

    I’d like one TRILLION dollars! So I could RUIN the careers of evil politicians AND help everyone I love retire to the lap of luxery. I could ALSO afford the EXPENSIVE dog food my two babies deserve. <3

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    zeexenon  7 months ago

    John Travolta, Kurt Russell, and the like, can give you pointers.

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    Tootsie Premium Member 7 months ago

    simple adjective (FOOLISH)old-fashionedA simple person does not have a normal level of intelligence.

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    Bilan  7 months ago

    Four million dollars is not a “few” things.

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    anamchara42  7 months ago

    Since when does goat drink coffee?

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    Rat’s ideal plane would be an evac helicopter.he tends to offend entire civilizations and needs a quick getaway.

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    knight1192a  7 months ago

    With the way lotteries are going, four million isn’t much anymore. Not when they’re starting to break the billion mark and regularly running into the tens of millions.

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    PPMKS  7 months ago

    The best things in life are not things.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  7 months ago

    Rat’s simplicity isn’t cheap.

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    Sisyphos  7 months ago

    And along came Rat! —There’s “simple,” and then there’s SIMPLE (as defined by Rat)!

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    abba3  7 months ago

    D.B. Rat

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    rgcviper  7 months ago

    A Simple Man, huh? Lynyrd Skynyrd would be proud.

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    Davel2468  7 months ago

    Only 4 million? I’d burn through that in a couple of weeks. Spend it on women gambling and booze. The rest I’d waste. (Credit to WC Fields for the ageless life coach advice)

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    Swirls Before Pine  7 months ago

    DB Cooper would like a word.

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