Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 04, 2023

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    BE THIS GUY  8 months ago

    So Rat sees himself as God in the Bible.

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    BasilBruce  8 months ago

    Well, most people read it to mean whatever they want it to mean; e.g., they might read “Judge not lest ye be judged” to mean “Everyone is bad except me.”

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    ronaldspence  8 months ago

    a text taken out of context is a pretext

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    hariseldon59  8 months ago

    I’m, reminded of this famous scene from Patton:

    Clergyman:I was interested to see a Bible by your bed. You actually find time to read it?

    Patton:I sure do. Every god d*** day.

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    sirbadger  8 months ago

    Does he read the parts where Satan kills fewer people than God does? It is hard to top Sodom and Gomorrah and Noah’s Flood.

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    momofalex7  8 months ago

    Seek, and ye shall find. If he’s just looking for judging bits, he’s going to read a lot of other parts too.

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    Concretionist  8 months ago

    The Bible, the Koran and other religious tracts are ALL used by many in the way that Rat’s describing. It’s what humans do, apparently.

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    Cornelius Noodleman  8 months ago

    I find it’s hard to read it if the book is upside-down.

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    Imagine  8 months ago

    Just skip to the end.

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    einarbt  8 months ago

    Not that I have seen. Seems the same with all these other so called holy books.

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    leopardglily  8 months ago

    Rat would fit right in with some right wingers.

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    Walrus Gumbo Premium Member 8 months ago

    “Is there another way to read the Bible?” Not according to Christians!!

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    iggyman  8 months ago

    A buffet reader, only read the parts that make you feel you are living the life the right way!

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    B UTTONS  8 months ago

    Rat has read so far,




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    minty_Joe  8 months ago

    Judge not, lest ye be judged, Rat.

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    Croc Holliday  8 months ago

    Read the parts that let you judge others while ignoring those parts that would have you change your own behavior.

    And believe it all as fact, including those parts allegedly describing events that occurred before there were any people around to witness them.

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    donlackie  8 months ago

    It’s how most people relate to their religion of choice

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    Tina Rhea Premium Member 8 months ago

    There are plenty of loud Republicans who read the Bible like that— the same way they read the US Constitution: pick out a few lines of each and concentrate on them fanatically, while pretending that the entire rest of both documents don’t exist, and try to jam those few lines down everyone else’s throats as the only law of the United States, always were, always will be, no alterations ever. I like to trade showing those folks the only mention of religion in the original seven articles of the Constitution (Article VI Clause 3, “no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States”) with asking them to show me where Jesus condemned homosexuals. It’s a really long wait for that one. (Spoiler: he didn’t.)

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    cracker65  8 months ago

    Rat just described Christianity perfectly.

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    James Wolfenstein  8 months ago

    Not according to the Catholics… and the Westboro Baptist Church! :D

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    Alexander the Good Enough  8 months ago

    When people start quoting Scripture at me, I tell them to hold it right there. If one is willing to cut & paste enough, one can make a telephone directory (Remember those? Ancient text.) say anything one wants it to. The Bible, and most other holy writs, makes doing that kind of thing ever so easy. It’s long been quite the sport among the various followers.

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    phritzg Premium Member 8 months ago

    I wonder if this verse was the inspiration for Pastis/Rat to name his comic: Matthew 7:6 NKJV: “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces." I do have a hard time imagining Pig tearing anyone to pieces, though.

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    Hamady Sack Premium Member 8 months ago

    Nope, that’s it.

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    Batteries  8 months ago

    I used to work with this awful woman named Bonnie who would boast about what a “Good Christian” she was, how she spent 3 hours every week at church. She’d spend the rest of the time being awful to anyone who wasn’t straight, white or Christian. She was ranting on and on about “these greedy Jewish doctors” (we work in a hospital) when I reminded her that her beloved Jesus Christ was Jewish. She just sat there (she couldn’t really stand for long, she was so freaking fat) opening and closing her mouth and making these sputtering noises before she yelled “HE WAS NOT!” and began to cry. She reported me to our supervisor, in the end nothing happened to either of us. Management back then tended to turn a blind eye to that stuff. She died after work one day.

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    wrd2255  8 months ago

    So Rat is just cherry-picking the Bible. Wow. Who would do that? Lol.

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    juicebruce  8 months ago

    The Bible is a tool . Like any other tool it may be used for good or bad. You the reader may make the choice of how it will be used ;-)

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    Ellis97  8 months ago

    Rat probably just reads the stories where God kills people and makes them suffer for their sins. After all, Rat revels in seeing other people miserable and suffering.

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    newsbb  8 months ago

    Seems like Rat is one those “saved” Republicans, who thinks they must save us all.

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    elbow macaroni  8 months ago

    John Lennon: “God is a concept by which we measure our pain.”

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    Ignatz Premium Member 8 months ago

    Just put pieces together:

    “And Judas went out and hanged himself.”

    “Go and do likewise.”

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    Ignatz Premium Member 8 months ago

    “In the big inning.” – Gen 1:1

    “No one gathered less than ten homers.” – Numbers 11:32

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    T Smith  8 months ago


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    Tallguy  8 months ago

    The only holy book you can mock in the funny pages.

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    Frank Salem Premium Member 8 months ago

    I read the Bible twice, from cover to cover. It was a defining moment in my life and changed it.

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    NaGrom Premium Member 8 months ago

    “Is there another way to read the Bible?” If you’re curious, may I suggest the app from “Bible Study Together” is a good way.

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    kaystari Premium Member 8 months ago

    Oh, wow, lots of comments. I’m with goat. The point of the Bible is to understand the bad news that we are inherently broken and flawed due to our own desires, selfishness and greed, but that our Creator has offered us a way out, and a future better life with Him. We can’t judge bc there is always someone better than us as well as worse than us. And if we think we are better than someone else, just give yourself some time. As long as you are not following God, then you will eventually be worse than that person.

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    HOTLOTUS1  8 months ago

    humans are being dicks so GOD can do what he wants with us

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    Goat from PBS  8 months ago

    Judge not, lest you be judged.

    Must’ve not read that yet.

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    dwcpho Premium Member 8 months ago

    Some of us read the Bible while the rest of you worship the NY Slime….I mean, Times.

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    pripley  8 months ago

    I read comics to get away from politics. I thought most people did the same. I guess I’m wrong.

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    thedogesl Premium Member 8 months ago

    First you have to decide which one you’re going to read. There are 50 versions in English alone. And those are translations of translations of older translations of stuff that was first written down over a period of around 1,000 years from (in some cases) stories transmitted by oral tradition.

    So, yeah, one way is probably as good as another.

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    Mel-T-Pass Premium Member 8 months ago

    Apparently not.

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    AZPhinFan  8 months ago

    It’s sad when you read comments of these ones who denigrate the Bible and who show by their words that they only have a surface knowledge…if that much… of the book. Archaeology and science has repeatedly established events, places and people written about in the Bible. And timelines as well. Darius and Mordecai, who existed long before Christ, are just 2 people who are well documented by secular history. And archaelogy has also proved a number of prophetic books were indeed written before the events occured. It comes down to the human habit of seeing only what one wants to see. That habit exists among atheists equally as much as it does among those who misquote the Bible and distort what it says to spin their own ideas. All of that is the fault of humans, not the Bible or God himself.

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    DaBump Premium Member 8 months ago

    Aaaand all the people who think they could run a universe better than God come out of the woodwork. Sure, easy to do in your head, but you have no idea what it actually involves; no one can even come close to imagining.

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    paulscon  8 months ago

    My church has a motto: we don’t have to believe alike to love alike. 1 John 4:7Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

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    paulscon  8 months ago

    I am so disappointed that the Speaker of the House has said that he will base his decisions on the Bible. Then he says we need to cut spending for Social Security and Medicare. And, the people most likely to vote Republican are the ones who depend the most on these things. He’s willing to help Israel only if we defund the IRS!!

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    zeexenon  8 months ago

    Me too, but this time I’m 80 and trying to get details on how Abraham that Sarah had a baby. Just curious.

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    braindead Premium Member 8 months ago

    Well, another way is to claim it’s your “favorite book”, even though you have never read any part of it whatsoever.

    “What’s your favorite passage?” “Well, that’s private!”

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    mistercatworks  8 months ago

    Apparently not.

    Some people can read the dictionary that way.

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    dialfred  8 months ago

    Since Satan is the bad and selfish influence of the whole world, he’s to blame for all the wars. He may not kill people, but he makes sure people kill other people

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    John Smith  8 months ago

    I’ve seen a lot of mocking of of G_d, Jesus and the Bible today which is very saddening.

    Reading the negative comments has been most unpleasant, but I realize that the fault isn’t with mockers, instead the problem is how many people that claim to be a Christian and live in the Church have acted throughout Church history. Sadly, religious Christians are just practicing a dead religion, which Christianity was never meant to be.

    The root cause of this hypocrisy is that they have never genuinely bowed their knee to Jesus. They have not made Him their personal King of Kings and Lord of their own lives, and therefore are not walking in Agape love. They are not led by the Holy Spirit but by their own carnal desires. They mentally accent to Jesus, but they have not open the door to their hearts made Jesus Lord of all.

    Waving a Bible around in public and speaking in religious code words doesn’t make you a Christian.

    Much of the Church continues to walk in the flesh, being judgmental, unloving, unforgiving and self-righteous. They are hypocrites that bring shame and dishonor to the name of Jesus and makes the Church a laughing stock.

    Holy Spirit led Repentance and love must start in the Church before it can spread to the World. (Matthew 11:15)

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    KEA  8 months ago

    You can basically cherry pick the Bible to reinforce any opinion or emotion you choose.

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    aerotica69  8 months ago

    Must be an evangelist’s bible.

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    Lynnjav  8 months ago

    That seems to be what a lot of people do.

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    dpatrickryan Premium Member 8 months ago

    No. No, there isn’t.

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    bunrabbit99  8 months ago

    so many “christians” are like this – cherry-pick the bits they like, ignore the rest.

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    mail2jbl  8 months ago

    Rat would make a good fundamentalist.

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    RuinQueenofOblivion  8 months ago

    It does seem to be how most people read it.

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  59. Whatever  8 months ago

    Not if you want to be speaker of the house.

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    TwilightFaze  8 months ago

    According to the zealots? No.

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    eddi-TBH  8 months ago

    That’s what it was for. But The Church preferred keeping their followers ignorant of the contents. Vernacular Bibles started with the Protestant movement.

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    Sisyphos  8 months ago

    Rat’s Way of Bible Reading is so commonplace! I’d have thought he’d found something more original!

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    SuperCharged5-  7 months ago

    i mean, that is how a lot of people view the big book

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  7 months ago

    James Corrigan…AKA The Spectre.Don’t make him mad.

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