Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 05, 2023

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    leopardglily  5 months ago

    Saw that coming from the first panel.

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    RuinQueenofOblivion  5 months ago

    Thanks Stephan, now that’s gonna be stuck in my head.

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    BasilBruce  5 months ago

    “Almost Heaven” doesn’t describe what’s about to happen.

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    BE THIS GUY  5 months ago

    John Denver’s estate lawyers on line 3.

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    zekepotato  5 months ago

    Songwriters: John Denver / Mary Catherine Danoff / Taffy Nivert Danoff / William Danoff

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    eolan59  5 months ago

    I always wondered what she looked like

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    hariseldon59  5 months ago

    At least John Denver isn’t turning over in his grave right now. He was cremated.

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    DanielRyanMulligan1  5 months ago

    Stephan pastis’s parents REALLY should’ve taken away his radio as a child; the world would’ve been so GRATEFUL!!!! Dan aka…

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    wjbryan55  5 months ago

    teardrops in my eyes….

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    sirbadger  5 months ago

    “Take me home” would work if he was from an insane asylum.

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    MichaelAxelFleming  5 months ago

    Get out of Denver baby! Go!

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    Kveldulf  5 months ago

    Just think of today’s horror as being part of Stephan’s recovery from his book signing tour. His shrink made him do it.

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    Robin Harwood  5 months ago

    How long does he spend thinking these up?

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    darkwingdave  5 months ago

    Posted to a few Fallout76 groups I’m in. Waiting for the anguished howls to begin.

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    enigmamz  5 months ago

    This song isn’t about the state West Virginia, but about western Virginia. The Shenandoah valley isn’t in WV, for example. Anyone who has studied the civil war at any real depth can tell you that.

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    Cornelius Noodleman  5 months ago

    I hear her bat as she cracks me in the head…

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    I need a burrito  5 months ago

    From the fist panel i knew this would be one of his “creative” strips

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    itsacatsworld Premium Member 5 months ago

    Howling. Wipes away tears.

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    hitman4cookies  5 months ago

    John Denver just turned in his grave.

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    Bilan  5 months ago

    When they got to California, Pig was so impressed that he said, Almost heaven – west, Virginia.

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    ecleme9999  5 months ago

    Loved this one! :D

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    iggyman  5 months ago

    John Denver is doing a 360 in his resting place right now!

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    iggyman  5 months ago

    How many roads? “A couple two or tree”!

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    taxidancer  5 months ago

    I always look forward to the puns. I love them!

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    newsbb  5 months ago

    As a European I am learning lots about US culture by being a regular here.

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    Hamady Sack Premium Member 5 months ago

    I can’t wait for Sundays.

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    russef  5 months ago

    Oh man! They let Pastis out of jail!!!

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    ewaldoh  5 months ago

    A little transparent for a long development; yet a nice finish.

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    [Traveler] Premium Member 5 months ago

    This is one of his better ones

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    Willywise52 Premium Member 5 months ago

    And it’s a looooooong road…

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    dlkrueger33  5 months ago

    I kept trying to guess what it would be, but I didn’t. I like the ending with Mountain Mama.

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    Ellis97  5 months ago

    Wordplay, what’re you gonna do?

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    Lenavid  5 months ago

    Pastis at his best!

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    Flossie Mud Duck  5 months ago

    I’ll bet Stephan almost choked while working this one out.

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    legaleagle48  5 months ago

    I saw the pun coming from the second panel, but I wasn’t quite sure how Stephan was going to get there. Well played, Pastis!

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    DukeOfURL Premium Member 5 months ago

    AWESOME!

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    grocks  5 months ago

    Belly laugh over breakfast. Lucky I wasn’t drinking my tea at the time.

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    wuhts  5 months ago

    This man NEVER disappoints.

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    Goat from PBS  5 months ago

    I knew a pun was coming, I just didn’t know where it was going.

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    Denver Reader Premium Member 5 months ago

    One of his lamer ones – the sentence structure at the end is awful.

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    Anters55  5 months ago

    Good song to have stuck in the head.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 5 months ago

    “We’re going to attack the Witch Atoll Line, Men”

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    Ignatz Premium Member 5 months ago

    Stephan will be visited by the ghost of John Denver tonight. He’s not happy.

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    chris_o42  5 months ago

    That was a lot of work!

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    Cozmik Cowboy  5 months ago

    There is absolutely no question – Pastis is a freakin’ genius!

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    Templo S.U.D.  5 months ago

    How would Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr. (1943-1997) react?

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    DaBump Premium Member 5 months ago

    Ah, thanks for the memories.

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    skipper1992  5 months ago

    I figured out pretty quickly that we were going to reference the #kingsmen anthem, I just wasn’t sure what the actual punchline would be.

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    tonicee9  5 months ago

    Love it! Made my day.

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    That Nerdy Dude  5 months ago

    I was singing in a huge choir and when we got dismissed we all sang that

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    WCraft Premium Member 5 months ago

    Saw a pun coming a mile away. Stephan – couldn’t you just post a non-pun rerun on days like this?

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    MAGA Premium Member 5 months ago

    I liked this one!

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    karenjean123 Premium Member 5 months ago

    Thank you for making me laugh out loud which I rarely do. It was the “Mountain Mama” that did it!

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    Charles & Susan  Premium Member 5 months ago

    Thank you Stephan! A classic

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    hmofo813 Premium Member 5 months ago

    Normally I don’t read ‘Pearls’ on Sundays. I slipped up this morning and was reminded why. I can’t believe there are really people who don’t despise this kind of forced gag. And it’s exactly the same joke every time: a stupid and unfunny forced gag and then Rat punishing ‘Pastis’ for it in the final panel. Why tell that joke more than once?

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  5 months ago

    I snickered, but this one was too labored. We needed some silliness from Pastis after he ended the week rather heavy; but this wasn’t it.

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    Ermine Notyours  5 months ago

    Come out, Virginia; don’t make me wait. You Catholic girls start much too late.

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    mtrimberger Premium Member 5 months ago

    Stephan really had to work for this one!

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    mpolo11 Premium Member 5 months ago

    May be the most torturous path yet.

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    curtlyon19  5 months ago

    funny, got an out loud laugh

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    raybarb44  5 months ago

    Clever but deadly……

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    bunrabbit99  5 months ago

    these get shaggier every time!

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    paulscon Premium Member 5 months ago

    [Chorus]Country roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsTook me a minute to figure out “ivy’s long” and I guess Mountain Moma is mad because he didn’t work her into the song.I hate puns except Pastis does them so well!

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    Silence Dogood Premium Member 5 months ago

    A triumph!

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    FireAnt_Hater  5 months ago

    His puns are so horrible that it’s evident that he puts a lot of time and love in them.

    Love them!

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    figuratively speaking  5 months ago

    I don’t even try to figure these out anymore. I just go with it.

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    zeexenon  5 months ago

    Darn, now I have an earworm.

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    stamps  5 months ago

    Give the donkey a lance and a windmill and he could be Donkey Hotay.

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    Flatworm  5 months ago

    Carry me back, old Virginnie! I’d like to unsee this.

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    John Jorgensen  5 months ago

    This one was so elaborate that it really kept me guessing.

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    txmystic  5 months ago

    I just saw 45K+ people belting out this song at the NFL game in Germany…

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    JLChi  5 months ago

    No. Just no.

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    Lola85 Premium Member 5 months ago

    That’s a biiiiiiiig stretch!

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    dr_suess  5 months ago

    Pastis … like Jurassic Park: "just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.This was a groaner.

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    markkahler52  5 months ago

    Pun Prison. Now!! Government, Investigate,!!

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    markkahler52  5 months ago

    Or at least, local police…

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    willie_mctell  5 months ago

    I had purged that song from my memory and almost erased the author. Curse you, Pastis.

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    brianlhathaway Premium Member 5 months ago

    Thank God he’s a country boy……. he’s a funny funny riddle

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    GumbyDammit223  5 months ago

    Apparently Pastis is out on bail to create more groaners. I’m not sure if I should be happy or sad. ;)

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    WF11  5 months ago

    Holmes is cute, especially with the Deerstalker cap.

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    Carole Boshart Premium Member 5 months ago

    You know, after a while, you can sense the set up from the first panel. Not the punchline, but that you are wading your way through a whole lot of guff!

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    P51Strega  5 months ago

    LOL. Love it!

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    Henry R Premium Member 5 months ago

    Greatness, Stephan.

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    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member 5 months ago

    I imagine it takes a lot of skill and insight to back-convert a song into a cartoon. And the work required of a build-up! Do you take requests?

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    rfdjr  5 months ago

    Excellent one Pastis! Excellent!

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    MayCauseBurns  5 months ago

    Stephan, please, put the crk pipe down.

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    Michael McKown Premium Member 5 months ago

    Pity that John Denver’s dead.

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    MathProf2  5 months ago

    I didn’t know the song, so public service:Take Me Home, Country Roads Song by John Denver

    Almost heaven, West VirginiaBlue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah RiverLife is old there, older than the treesYounger than the mountains, growin’ like a breezeCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsAll my memories gather ‘round herMiner’s lady, stranger to blue waterDark and dusty, painted on the skyMisty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eyeCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsI hear her voice in the mornin’ hour, she calls meThe radio reminds me of my home far awayDrivin’ down the road, I get a feelin’That I should’ve been home yesterday, yesterdayCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsTake me home, (down) country roadsTake me home, (down) country roads

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    pamela welch Premium Member 5 months ago

    Stephan, Stephan, OMG OMG — That is So Bad and pretty dang funny

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    Aladar30 Premium Member 5 months ago

    Kinda hope that mountain mama has a very heavy hand.

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    eddi-TBH  5 months ago

    John Denver is spinning in his grave.

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    mail2jbl  5 months ago

    If John Denver knew that Cartoon Boy would make such a god-awful pun based on his song, he’d probably have been like, “You know what, never mind…”

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    catmom1360  5 months ago

    Clever.

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    EXCALABUR  5 months ago

    How did he get out of the pokey?

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    wildlandwaters  5 months ago

    That was sooo bad…have at ’im, mama!

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    msandman1943  5 months ago

    Horrible, horrible. Even more horrible than usual.

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    Sisyphos  5 months ago

    Hey, Mountain Mama, once you’ve clobbered Cartoon-Boy righteously, save a thump or two for Pig, ‘cause he’s the accomplice in this pun-funny business….

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  5 months ago

    Life ain’t nothing but a funny funny riddle===EDWARD NIGMA

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    Yammo Premium Member 5 months ago

    Oh BOOOOOO :-D

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    Katje  5 months ago

    Why did they ever release you? :D

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    einarbt  5 months ago

    Run Stephan run.

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    cymusiker  5 months ago

    Great donkey. Ours is named Solomon.

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    Swirls Before Pine  5 months ago

    Bravo! (Sorry. Bad Steph!)

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