Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 26, 2023

Acquaintances have fewer responsibilities and you don’t even have to give a Christmas gift.

I’ve come to realize that all those coworkers I thought were my friends were just coworkers I hung out with by default.

Don’t settle for Acquaintance, Goat—go for Stranger!

Pig is a better friend than Rat deserves.

When you retire and move, it’s amazing how few people you want to maintain drive-over-an-hour connections with.

Keep in mind that ratings are in the mind of the rater. You don’t necessarily want to be high in the ratings (or mind) of this rater.

Reading between the lines, is Rat acknowledging that he has friends?

RATing eh. Ha ha. Nice pun Pastis.

Rat has a rating clipboard? Why?!

Pig is already working hard for the next evaluation

Zebra seems to have made the transition from friend to acquaintance since we hardly see him anymore. So there’s hope for Goat.

I don’t think Goat would miss him if he moved to another planet.

I am blocking all the idiots that sent me more than one meme, TikTok video, or any other stupid link to whatever over the last year. Does it count as “rating”? :D I think we need a smarter system. To block them, you have to keep them on your contact list… Did I say system? We need smarter humans!! We have the most amazing communication system ever and we’re not even trying to communicate…

I’m sure Goat’s okay with that, too.

No list for the Crocs.

Rat doesn’t need friends. He needs counseling.

Everyone gave Rat a zero

I think Rat must be a negative figure.

Sounds like Calvin’s dad polls.

Good call goat, bad company corrupts good morals.

I had nothing against coworkers. I found managers claiming we were all family as they tried to stab you in the back pretty irritating.

I need acquaintances…

I am with Goat on this one. There is a very fine line between “long term acquaintance” and “friend” but there IS a line.

Rat gets a friend rating of pi, which is fitting, considering how irrational he is.

Old acquaintances can be forgot and never brought to mind.

I think I’m about a 10 (and I don’t mean Bo Derek).

And the Wise AΣΣ on the Hill excluded Rat.

How about, if I never see you again, I would be happy?

Sounds like Calvin with the latest Dad-poll

One should not give a rat’s a$$ about Rat’s ratings!

Goat is good enough to be an “acquaintance” and no more, and Pig should not be concerned about his ranking, either….

I wonder how his friends would rank Rat? Would that be zero or a negative number?