Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 15, 2024

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    BE THIS GUY  about 1 month ago

    Like Rat can afford this house.

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    BasilBruce  about 1 month ago

    Rat’s just jealous because he’s never the master in the bedroom.

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    Concretionist  about 1 month ago

    Well BEDroom may be too sexy real soon now.

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    El-Kabong  about 1 month ago

    In 2015 I said to my electrician you won’t be allowed to use that term soon.

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    B UTTONS  about 1 month ago

    Goat sold Rat’s house.

    Listed for cheap, ended in a bidding war. Goat is retiring.

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    Jesy Bertz Premium Member about 1 month ago

    With that yellow dress shirt Goat is dressed like Dwight Schrute in “The Office”.

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    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member about 1 month ago

    The Master?

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    c001  about 1 month ago

    Hm. Some even have a master’s degree.

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    Formedras  about 1 month ago

    Welp, Rat’s back to normal. Good while it lasted.

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    buer  about 1 month ago

    It is just a word, it doesn’t matter. The bedroom doesn’t change. Just like us, from the master race. You may call us superior race now if you find master offensive. Overlords, Almightys are also acceptable as we are very open minded and tolerant to our inferi… sorry, less fortunate companions.

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    zmech13 Premium Member about 1 month ago

    It’s now referred to as the “Primary Bedroom”.

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    Guybrush Threepwood  about 1 month ago

    Funny and sad at the same time.

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    hariseldon59  about 1 month ago

    Does this mean the term ‘master’ will be banished from the recording industry as well?

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    Ellis97  about 1 month ago

    Rat just loves messing things up.

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    iggyman  about 1 month ago

    Rat is only happy in a rat’s nest!

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    phritzg Premium Member about 1 month ago

    If Goat was selling a houseboat, would the guy in charge of cleaning its toilets be called the head master?

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    steveh64  about 1 month ago

    What to call Dr. Who’s nemesis?

    What’s a poor Igor to do?

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    Count Olaf Premium Member about 1 month ago

    Perhaps it had something to do with the decor, all the whips, chains and leather.

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    Ignatz Premium Member about 1 month ago

    The problem isn’t that some terms aren’t allowed, it’s that machines without brains are making the decisions, and don’t know the difference between vulgar and clean.

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    Steverino Premium Member about 1 month ago

    Is there a mistress bedroom? Oh wait, never mind.

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    BadCreaturesBecomeDems  about 1 month ago

    Next they will tell me I can’t have slave quarters.

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    F-Flash  about 1 month ago

    Very Masterful Stephen.

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    Croc Holliday  about 1 month ago

    Heh, way to stir up the right-wing rage Pastis. As if they weren’t perpetually peed off about something already.

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    Meg: Some Seriousness Aside  about 1 month ago

    I’m currently buying a house. SO told me it is now the “primary” bedroom, so I have to remember to call it “master” as a litmus test for thinking people.

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    old_geek  about 1 month ago

    Many years ago I asked the world if it could become more idiotic.

    It replied that I’ve not seen anything yet…

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    kris_simons  about 1 month ago

    The term “Master-Slave” is still widely used when talking about JK Flip Flop digital circuits.

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    drivingfuriously Premium Member about 1 month ago

    Since people don’t work on their cars anymore, mechanics can still use the term Master brake cylinder and slave cylinder.

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    proclusstudent  about 1 month ago

    We refer to it now as the Mistress bedroom?!

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    JudyAz  about 1 month ago

    What will they call those top-level golf tournaments?

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    old_geek  about 1 month ago

    What else is it called in his TARDIS?

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    aerotica69  about 1 month ago

    I’m looking for two unconsciousness-room, two ablutions-room house with an open floor plan and boring-beige decor in an area with strong cash reserves.

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    mindjob  about 1 month ago

    It doesn’t help that the house is built on an old plantation

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  about 1 month ago

    Go to hell.

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    Albert Sims Premium Member about 1 month ago

    No puns on “National Pun Day”?? I am disappointed!

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    prrdh  about 1 month ago

    You mean I can no longer refer to fishermen as master baiters?

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    IndyW  about 1 month ago

    Master is also used to refer to the main or leading position in skills, as an expert, or as the top position achieved. To see it as a racial slur is racist in itself if one cannot see it beyond applied in the other contexts.

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    waes-hael  about 1 month ago


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    jjwfat  about 1 month ago

    I don’t have a MASTER’S degree, but I do master bate in my master bedroom or the master bath. I would gladly help you with your master-cylinder. I had a fishing boat and I was the masterbaiter on it also.Abe Lincoln wouldn’t have a chance against Mr/President Donald J. Trump. There was always a boat headed back to Europe in the hey day. There are boats and planes, which I would help fare the tickets.

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    John Jorgensen  about 1 month ago

    Goat sure looks cute all dressed up like that.

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    Goat from PBS  about 1 month ago

    “Master” is cancelled? So now what to we call the best chess players on Earth?

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    stamps  about 1 month ago

    At boarding school, we were required to call the head of the dorm by the title Master. There was a rumor circulating that the current master was going to be replaced with someone with the last name Bates.

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    marilynnbyerly  about 1 month ago

    Language isn’t controlled by any group despite what the woke think. It’s controlled by the speakers. Not using “master bedroom” may stick, but I very much doubt it.

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    zeexenon  about 1 month ago

    It’s what I do, Master.

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    ekke  about 1 month ago

    Engineering is full of instances of master-slave relationships among components and systems. Will they have to change to PC-correct dominant-submissive? And why is it that that would be somehow better?

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    DanMercer  about 1 month ago

    Banned books and reason for banning:1. “Gender Queer” : graphic novel features a picture of oral sex being performed on a sex toy. It also contains an X-rated passage.2. “This Book Is Gay”: provides a how-to guide to find strangers for sex on gay sex apps.3. “Out of Darkness”: contains a rape. 4. “l8r g8r”: contains discussions of oral sex. 5. “All Boys Aren’t Blue”: contains underage incest. 6. “It’s Perfectly Normal”: contains drawings of children masturbating. 7. “Lawn Boy”: contains a passage about 10-year-old boys performing oral sex on each other. 8. “Jack of Hearts”: talks about a condom that is “covered in s—-.” 9. “Crank” details a meth-fueled rape. 10. “Lucky”: also details a rape. 11. “A Court of Mist and Fury,”: contains an extremely explicit sexual passage.When parents have tried to read passages from some of these books found in elementary school libraries at school board meetings their microphones were turned off, they were expelled from the meetings, threatened with prosecution and investigated by the FBI.

    Woke is a term for white saviorists who compete for the right to abase themselves for crimes neither they nor their ancestors committed but were committed by people who shared some chromosomes.

    In programming, even the term client/server is being deprecated. It’s weird, today’s black college attendees apparently are expected to go weak at the knees over “master bedroom” while their grandparents faced down police dogs and firehoses.

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    Croc Holliday  about 1 month ago

    One wonders how Metallica should rebrand their song (and album) Master of Puppets while still retaining the proper imagery and sound?

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    jimboklein  about 1 month ago

    My sports car is apparently racist. The hydraulic clutch has bott a Master Cylinder and a Slave Cylinder.

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    Vonne Anton  about 1 month ago

    Weighing in on this just because feeling ornery: instead of all those other terms, why not just call it being kind. Is that a bad thing?

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    elgrecousa Premium Member about 1 month ago

    Wise up people, banning word, books, speech, and whatever else offends your sensibilities, isn’t going to help you or anyone else.

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    dougphoto  about 1 month ago

    Ahh the “right”… the lefts forever strawman

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    Cathy P.  about 1 month ago

    WOKE: Willingly Overlooking Known Evil

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    eddi-TBH  about 1 month ago

    260 comments. I can feel the heat from up here.

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    Tom in WV  about 1 month ago

    At least you won’t be blacklisted for saying “master,” as black- and white- lists have been banned. About a year ago, I saw a software release in which the only change was changing all the variable names for blacklist and whitelist to other names.

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    clayface9 Premium Member about 1 month ago

    “Master” is a banned term?

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    rogthedodge1  about 1 month ago

    And then there’s the Yeti: Abominable Snowperson

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    Swirls Before Pine  about 1 month ago

    No one can ever be called mister again. Or missus, as its a derivative.

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    Swirls Before Pine  about 1 month ago

    That doesn’t excuse the fact that they are still domineering, intolerant, and narrow-minded.

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