Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 10, 2025

I sympathize with Stephan; I turned 57 a few weeks ago.

I don’t notice any difference from when I is started reading Pearls, maybe 5 years ago

I’ve been giving some thought to taking up drinking. If nothing else it’ll give me an excuse for the way I feel in the morning.

You work all your life, are happy as a lark, waiting to retire. Then you finally retire and then your whole body falls apart. Didn’t happen to me but I know some people it did

There’s no dignity in aging.

Stephan should hang out with the Crocs more often. All they’d want to do is eat him.

My dad said that he didn’t start feeling old until he hit 80, and that was only because he had to get a new knee and couldn’t play beach volleyball anymore!

When it comes to climbing over a 6 foot wall, that was a skill that disappeared suddenly. Sometimes one day is different from the previous day.

I’m 57 and at a crossroads.

I feel young yet l want to retire. There’s no drive.

No, he just cleaned his mirror. It can be quite a shock.

I saw a picture of Dan Quayle at President Carter’s funeral yesterday. I had no idea who he was until I read the caption underneath. Now THAT is getting old!

Old? You think 56 is old? HAHAHAHA! The deterioration that you experience now is nil compared to how you will feel in 15 to 20 years.

56 isn’t old. You’re not officially old until you’re 67 (at least here in Iceland).

I was thinking about acting in a community theater. Sat down with the director and some other folks. They asked what age range I felt comfortable playing. I said I could pass for 40 and they all agreed.

I felt pretty good until I remembered Jack Benny joking about being ‘only 39.’

When I was a kid I wondered how old you had to be to think that 39 was young.

Now I know.

I’m about to turn 68. I avoid mirrors at all costs.

When I wake up in the morning, I look awful. But my age has nothing to do with it.

73 next month. Better than dying around 50 like my father, brother and both grandfathers.

I’ll be 45 next month on the 27th. Amazing how fast time slips by.

I finally decided what I want to be when I get old: young

And woke up with hair sprouting everywhere!

¡FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, STEPHAN!

I wonder why people talk about age and life like that. Each day is a day. Why jump around in years oblivious to each day? Did you waste your life by somehow not living in those days? What are you talking about with this, “one day I woke up and I was old.” I don’t get it.

Spring chicken.

I almost didn’t want to sleep when I found out how bad my sleep apnea is. Can hardly wait for my BiPAP machine.

Aging is not for the faint of heart….

You’re still kids. Wait until you and ur spouse have to help each other in and out of bed, the car, the steps.

My next birthday is my 70th. I know that 19 year-old kid is still here somewhere.

56 is only middle age.

I turned 70 in November. I sympathize with you, Stephan.

Just wait for the day you wake up and realize you have developed a whole complicated maneuver just to get your stiff joints out of the bed.

56? Pfft! Amateur!

Imagine how Rip VanWinkle felt

So much of aging is how you approach it. I’m mid-70s, my husband is mid-60s. He says, “I hurt — I’m sitting down” whereas I say, “I hurt — I have to move.” He looks older than me and I worry, but there’s no changing him.

Age is largely attitude and perception. We all have limitations at every age, its how we deal with them that counts, and often that’s how others view and understand us. I know people in their 50’s (or less) who are ready to die and get it over with. I know people in their 70’s (and more) who can’t wait to get up in the morning. We ride with a Christian motorcycle group, are active in our church, and love to travel. Health-wise? Well, once you get past the cancer, replaced joints, arthritis, hospitalizations, etc., we’re doing pretty well (thanks for asking).I advise everyone before entering retirement, you retire TO something, not FROM something. Enjoy your life my friends, its the only one you’ll get.

Steph is the same age as me!

51 this month!

Folks, if you are younger than me, you are not old! Stephan, you are still young…

You can’t stop what’s comin’.

Ahhh to be 56 again. Lots to look forward to

Not “Whippersnappers” it’s Whimmersnappers!

81, feeling old now, but love my comics.

I’m significantly older than that. What’s strange is not so much being old, I don’t actually feel that much different. What’s odd is knowing how old I seem to younger people.

Happy birthday, Stephan.

When exactly do you grow old?

Everyone gets this wrong, thinking it happens sometime fairly late in life. Here is the true answer:

When you are 26, you are in your mid-twenties, barely out of your teens. Relax, kid, your whole life is ahead of you.

On your 27th birthday you are nearly 30. Grow up! It is high time you were married and raising a family!

I discovered that on my birthday when the 16 year old girl across the street, who had been treating me as a contemporary, suddenly realized I could not wait for her to catch up.

Happy Birthday Stephan! I’m 65 and it goes by fast!

It doesn’t just happen, Pig. It sort of creeps up on you.

I wonder why Stephan ran this today when his birthday’s not until next Thursday. (1/16/68) and he’ll be 57 not 56!

Age is subjective. Old to Stef is young to me as I am turning 74 this Spring.

My face still looks pretty good, it’s the rest of me that looks like h*ll

So soon Pig forgets how Steph looked when he was ‘young’…

I turn 50 later this year. Apologies to Stephan Pastis, but I feel better about that.

Don’t trust anyone over 30. Uhh, 40. It wasn’t that long ago the 50s were the beginning of old age. Now it’s the mid 70s. Viagra keeps you young.

Just wait. 66 is not like 56, 76 is not like 66. At 66 I could still take stairs easily. At 66 I could drive at night.

You’re all youngsters. In March I’ll be 117 and as sharp as I ever was.

I always thought reaching my age would take longer.

I went to bed last night at 23yo. This morning when I go up I was 63yo. I did a Rip Van Winkel

Bing Crosby’s horse hasn’t come in yet

Happy birthday Stephen ? I’m 69 and you’re just a kid !

I turn 74 in July; it happens to all of us and none of can quite believe it. Only last week, I was 25.

Pig delivering such a stinging burn?

2017 was eight years ago.

I got reminded of that fact and it made me feel old.

Finally! He reached the age he should wear a beret.

Best wishes, Steph, as U celebrate your 21st birthday for the 35th time! Remember, there’s only one alternative to getting older!!

I am reminded of A.A. Milne’s “When I Was One.” When I hit 66, I was totally healthy and ready to retire. So I appropriated the poem’s last lines: “But now I am (sixty) six/Im as clever as clever/ so I think I’ll be (sixty) six now/For river and ever.”Fast forward to the present, 76 and a prostate cancer survivor (with ‘wonderful’ side effects). I pull my low energy self around, ‘happy’ in the knowledge that things will only get worse. . . .

So? Draw yourself younger.

I did that twenty-one and a half years ago. DaRn! I’m old!

First(1st) of all, basilBruce, before I forget, happy birthday, now onto my point, no wonder you beat me every single time and you’re so awesome and you’re so cool; you’re exactly like my older brother, even though you’re 10(ten) years older than me and he’s only six(6) years older than me!!!!! Dan aka…ps rock on, dude!!!!!!(for a funnier “riff” on this comic strip’s story/joke, check out NC’S the princess bride review on YouTube, dude!!!!!!!)

65 today and tired

probly like a lot of us here, I wish I was that young again!

I AM NOT OLD. I have just lived a long time.

I don’t mean to go to sleep, but I can’t help dozing off.

Oh man, I feel for yoiu ALL. In 7 months I turn…I mean, I turn 69. Great for jokes, but dang, the price.

It’s a good thing that getting older is such a gradual process, otherwise it would be quite traumatic! Here’s a tip for you young’uns out there – take good care of yourself; it really does pay off. I’m 62, and I feel great!

I’m currently the same age my mom was in 1997. She was born in 1919. My dad was 2 years younger.

So true…don’t even ask me how I got to be 71. I honestly cannot comprehend being considered old. The only reality of aging that gives me a punch now and then is an ache that pops up out of nowhere. Otherwise every day is an adventure and that is a wonderful thing. Forget the number…grab an ice pack or a heating pad when the aches pop up…. Every day wonders surround us…you only have to look …only have to listen…

Remember the alternative, "here lies…..

That remark: You’d expect it from Rat, but it stings more coming from Pig. “Out of the mouth of babes…”

Trying to sympathize with you Mr. Pastis. However, good old google tells me your birthday is next week and that we were born in the same year. It feels to me that parents and grandparents made a bigger deal out of getting older and now that we’re here it (somewhat) doesn’t feel like that big of a deal. What did hit me a while back was that I qualify for the “senor discount” most places as it seem to be set at 55. Seems odd.

56 is a big deal because when you’re 55, you’re still closer to 50, but once you’re 56, you’re closer to 60

56 is really not that old

I’m only 13

I like how this author pokes fun at himself

People blithering about birthdays that start with 5. Come on. You’ve got 6, 7, 8 maybe even 9 to look forward to. That’s just about the same as the 4, 3, 2, and 1 you’ve already had.

I’m on level 74!

Stephan…you’re only 56??? You’re a kid!

64 here; I’m not to the point where if it works, it hurts, but I’m surprised how quickly a particular thing stopped working; I remember 20+ years ago a 63-year-old colleague complaining about it but didn’t think it’d happen to me too…

Me too!

56? Ahh, memories.

55 here and yes it is scary when you sit and think what happen? And my 74 year old mom when I talk to her about how weird it is. Say’s how do you think i feel when i remember!

I just realized the other day that I’m going to turn fifty this year. I mean… uh… fifTEEN. Yeah, that’s it.

I think you are fine Stephan Pastis :-)