Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 16, 2025

The Little Engine: “I think I can, I think I can . . .”

Rat: “You can’t. You can’t.”

You err, Rat.

Correction: You can do anything you want to in your dreams if you put your mind to it.

when the daughter asked how fast COPD would make her die, the MD said “We’re all dying, some of us just a little slower that others.”

4 days, 10 hours, and 15 minutes left

Good news is, all your enemies die, too.

Saw a video by an inspirational speaker. He started out his talk with: "I gotta tell you a secret about life- no one gets out alive!

We all have a use-by date but no one can read it.There’s this guy out there spending a couple of million bucks a year on trying to be immortal. Fools and their money. I guess you can be super rich and still not very bright. Because even if you could maintain your body at say 35 for a couple of centuries, everyone you know, your friends etc, would not. Eventually you’d be alone.

Can’t see that on a coffee mug.

Death, the great equalizer!

I remember that old adage: “Life’s a b!+ch – then you die”

Here’s an inspirational quote for Rat: “Enjoy today. Because tomorrow things will be worse .”

My retirement plan.

Used to have a bumper sticker that said: “Spoiler Alert: Everybody Dies.” Though I have to admit, the way I die does matter to me.

Are you feeling OK, Stephan?

My favorite inspirational quote is “Keep the dream alive. Go back to sleep.”

You might want to rephrase that.

If the younger people read this they would candle this and tell you to use the word unalive. Where did that come from? I am also reminded of the guy who’s motto is “don’t die”, a guy who is spending millions to stay young, Bryan Johnson.

The Yanomami in the Amazon believe that as long as anyone has a memory of you after you’ve passed on then your spirit is alive. As soon as the last person forgets you, you cease to exist.

I prefer “You’ll die anyway.” as my inspirational message.

I want to play center field for the Yankees. Positive thinking can obviously overcome the fact that I’m old and was never good at baseball.

To Live And Let Die ….. Bond …. James Bond ….. Croc Power!

Cemeteries are full of indispensable people.

Not true.

I’m sure many people wish their bodies came with a painless ‘off’ swich.

But, in order to die, you have to live.

That’s actually pretty zen…

This must be written by a 30 something person. When you’re looking at 80 death doesn’t seem so bad.

He’s not wrong, but not inspirational, either.

Penguin Opus said it best : “You’re born. You live. You go on some diets. You die.”

Unfortunately Rat is right. The two things in life is certain, Death and Taxes,……and bills.

I don’t know, I did that before. It didn’t take.

This just killed me…

Another thing you can’t do is not age.

And although aging is okay up to a point, eventually you’re going to want an out. And there’s only one out.

Look up the story of Tithonus.

“Time rushes toward us with its hospital tray of infinitely varied narcotics, even while it is preparing us for its inevitably fatal operation.”-Tennessee Williams

“That is why we see so many people who can fly.” —Elden Carnahan

Rat should go to work writing demotivational posters for Despair, Inc.

I could sure use some of Pig’s inspirational (do good for others) quotes.

Great strip for Mr. Pastis as he begins his 57th year of successfully staving off death. Happy birthday, Stephen.

Not what inspirational quote should be.

I died…. but I got better…

I should have died with my team in September 1971. It’s been all bonus time since.

Better to die than to end up a brain inside of a jar like on Futurama

The real inspirational quote, “Live your life as if tomorrow were its last day.” boils down to exactly what Rat is saying. But don’t tell Rat!

I hope nobody minds if I merely mention that many of us believe our spirits live on, and a blessed eternity is the gift of God through faith in Jesus Christ.

Well, about 117 billion humans have come and gone. The odds are almost 100%.

More expirational than inspirational, I’d say.

Why is it that the one thing we want the most is the only thing that cannot be attained?

We DO need a dose of reality every now and then…..

“Mad World” lyrics: the dreams where I am dying are the best I’ve ever had.

I mean, inspiration doesn’t mean pointing out exceptions in common cliches and saying “deal with it”

to be fair, don’t kill the messenger!

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying — Woody Allen

The comments about this comic strip have been more fun to read than the comic itself…ha.. “Life …what is it but a dream.” (Lewis Carroll)

I look forward to the other side being better and those I loved and lost being there.

Life is a terminal condition…