Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 22, 2025

Not going to work Rat. Go Stephan more bad puns please.

Didn’t they turn the key into Buffy’s little sister?

Those are their keys to salvation, right?

I expected Rat to say that the monks have asked for Stephan to take a vow of silence.

In their off time I guess they “Monkey around”?

They go to a burger place and order “One with everything”!

Walked right into that one, Rat.

Give a thousand monk keys a thousand key machines, and in a thousand years, they’re BOUND to make you a good doop licate.

It always starts off so innocently! That should have given me a clue. Rat never makes innocuous reasonable statements…

I remember the Monastery on the Corner. Great beer, pool tables and ESPN!!

What did I tell you about puns?

Reminds me — years ago, make that decades ago, I was bicycling through Belgium and Netherlands and stopped at a pub for lunch. To wash down whatever I was eating, I innocently ordered a Trappist beer, wanting to try something new. Holy cow, and I do mean holy. Still to this day, it was the thickest, strongest, and darkest beer I have ever had. Two things happened: I couldn’t ride in a straight line for a couple of hours and second, I seriously considered the benefits of becoming a monk. None of those things ever occurred again.

If you have a monk key they are worth more now.

This was the worst pun that I have read! It deserves a baseball bat! Wonder why Rat didn’t get him with it?

Please, more monk key business, Stephan! I love puns.

Because according to Chuck Berry in 1956 there was Too Much Monk Key Business and the market was saturated.

GROAN ! ( LoL )

I knew it was coming at monastery.

What’s this funk

That you call junk?

To me it’s just monkey business.

Skid Row, Monkey Business

Yay puns!

Hey, hey we’re the Monk Keys

LMAO

The Monks are going Ape.

The monks are going to open a new business. They’re going to compete with Churches and KFC. They’re calling it Friar’s Frys!

I worry about their knees.

The monastery opened a seafood restaurant. They had a fish friar and a chip monk.

Even I saw that one coming!

1931 – Marx Brothers

Good start to the day with a Pearl’s pun

Oh God!

Ages ago I had a teacher who proclaimed. “There will be no more monkey business in this class!” In my mind I thought, “So we will watch Duck Soup instead!!”

I think they’re going open a fish and French fries stand. Chip monks. And fish friars.

I have missed the puns

Maybe it moved down the road to the Don’s house.

After the service at Washington Cathedral yesterday for tRump’s coronation, all the monks will be deported.

Wow, was that taken straight out of Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang?

In my admittedly limited experience, monasteries tend to be pretty sprawling properties built on huge plots of land that are set back from whatever’s around them. The idea that there’d be one on the corner, like a 7-11, tipped me off that we were in for something silly today. (As did remembering what strip I was reading, of course.)

They’re going to close the key business and open a pretzel shop. They already have the plans

Buy a whole bunch of them, then you can have…

.

.

More fun than a barrel of Monk Keys…

( ͡   ͚ ͚ʖ ͡  )

Oh Great! I was supposed to deliver a bunch of blanks to them. If they go out of business, what am I supposed to do with a barrel full of monk keys?

That actually made feel better.

Monks make excellent Ale…

Nice pun to start the day off with

Not my monastery, not my monk keys.

Aba daba daba daba daba daba daba - Said the chimpie to the monk

I had always had keys made at the local hardware store. They have a couple of carrousel racks for the blanks.

Then I had the opportunity to go into a locksmith’s shop. A couple of walls covered with different key blanks. It was impressive…

In an episode of “Police Squad” Drebin opened a locksmith shop, and on the wall there were Florida keys, Francis Scott keys, turkeys, and pot roast.

There was also a type of key that starts with H, but apparently I’m not allowed to post it here.

They’re not closing shop, just moving to a hill in southern Florida. They’re going to be the Mount Keys Monk Keys.

The word’s out about the keys.

I thought monks were supposed to take a vow of silence.

They’ll still sell lox though. Right?

Monk see key

monk see do

We don’t need church keys anymore, to open beer cans.

In Vegas, all the churches accept casino chips as Offering. A group of Franciscan Friars go from church to church to casino to casino collecting, exchanging and remunerating for them. These are the Chip Monks.

There’s a Chuck Berry song that fits today’s strip perfectly. The refrain ends with, “…for me to be involved in.”

G R O A N — LOLOL

Talking of religion,God bless Bishop Marianne Budde.

:o)

Ah, Stephan, you PUN-k!

I didn’t realize monkeys have money. Otherwise, how do they conduct business?

Stephen needs to go to bad pun rehab.

GROAN

RUSH performed a song called “The Main Monk Key Business”. The lyrics are inspirational.