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billsplut Free

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  1. about 3 hours ago on Crankshaft

    Just because the week is up doesn’t mean this arc is. We still have yet to see the premiere of this quarter-finished movie, and whatever insanity “Cindy is Preggers” turns out to be. And, as Star-Nosed Mole is a comical book character, expect at least a week with the Komix Korner Klan dimwits. And the afterparty will be at Montoni’s, so expect a week of THAT.

  2. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    To distract from his terrible movie.

  3. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    You know what would be totally nuts, completely unbelievable, and yet still happen in this strip? We’ve only seen 1 headshot of Cindy. What if the big surprise is she steps out of the Amazing Shrinking Porsche and—SHE’S 8 AND A HALF MONTHS PREGNANT?! Due the exact same day as the Star-nosed Mole Movie debuts?! And she—oh mi gawd, wait for it it’s SO GOOD—she gives BIRTH in the VALENTINE, or maybe in a MONTONI’S CAR? Those things would be exciting! Those have NEVER happened bef—Oh. They did? More than once? Well…kinda makes it even more likely then.

  4. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    Somewhere on Facebook, there’s a great-grandpa. Older than even Crankshaft, he was the first father to say, in the starving depths of the Great Depression to his hollow-cheeked children—

    “HI HUNGRY, I’M DAD!”

    Today, he reads this strip. He stares in the mirror. He cries “My God, What Have I Done?!”

  5. 3 days ago on Crankshaft

    I was “lucky” enough to see Trek on opening night, a Friday. Everyone cheered when the Enterprise first appeared! 15 minutes later, people were walking out. Because it was still showing the first appearance. Just exterior shots of an expensive model with nothing happening, and it lasted TWENTY MINUTES. This was before digital projection, so they had to send out teams of film editors all across the country to cut the scene down to 5 minutes by Monday. Since this was not super-coordinated, each theater showing the edit had slightly different versions. They were so intent on not being Star Wars that they forgot to make it Star Trek.

  6. 4 days ago on Crankshaft

    The answer to your question is not “What?”

  7. 4 days ago on Crankshaft

    Oh, I sure am!

  8. 4 days ago on Crankshaft

    MONDAY: “Hello, is this 1950s tract house where me go? My car sure shrinked!”

    TUES: MASON: “Hello, Man! I myself am also me!” DANKLE: “Yes, I am the man for which you look [BIRDS FLY OUT OF HIS MOUTH]” MASON: “Man—you head look diff! What Give?!”

    WEDS: MASON: “Man, let me RE-introduce myself, in the 30 seconds since we met! I need—CRAZY MUSIC! MY GOD YOUR HEAD CHANGED SHAPE AGAIN!” (pulls out iPhone 22) “Note to assistant: ACID REAL GOOD THIS TIME!”

    THURS: Mason SEES the awful music, SMELLS the melting walls, introduces himself again, is taken away to rehab.

    FRI: Cindy gives birth.

  9. 4 days ago on Crankshaft

    Bingo, Sherlock! I stand in line, unless there are sportos. Then it’s Mega shanked.

  10. 5 days ago on Crankshaft

    Sorry about making fun of this previously unknown dialect of northern Ohio! It’s actually pronounced “To what do we owe?” and “be all OBVIOUSY!” (5/13/24)